Sorry, My very first lyrics :)
Keilnoth
Aug 8 2009, 01:57 AM
Learning Apprentice Player
Posts: 686
Joined: 10-April 09
From: Switzerland
QUOTE
Sorry,

I suddenly woke up from this dream
I have been allowing myself to live in.

Nothing is impossible but
Nothing changed since yesterday
Different feelings, Different pains

Raking over my hearth, a brand in my heart
It is all fun till someone gets hurt.
That shouldn't be any of us.
I'll protect you and I'll protect us.

Nothing is impossible but
something changed since the first day
Same conclusions, more solutions

You told me, utterly fond of you and
Speaking of love, how clever people were
to me you are more than everything
Stop playing with me, stop leaving me

Nothing is impossible but
Everything changed from that day
Same story, same conclusion

Both standing on the edge
Things then forever changed
We fell of the cliff of purity
Diving into the sea of certainty

I suddenly wake up from this dream
I am allowing myself to live in.
But nothing changed since yesterday


The story behind this will sound pretty stupid. I promised a girl to write a song about our situation which is currently not very comfortable. It's not really a love song, it's more a no love song. I feel like it should sound something like "You" from Radiohead. Not violent but not a boring slow. Well, I didn't composed the music for now. Just wondering if people would like the lyrics. smile.gif

EDIT : typo

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net


Don't miss today's free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!

Don't miss today's free blues, jazz & country licks. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!


This post has been edited by Keilnoth: Aug 13 2009, 08:47 PM


--------------------

My Guitars: Fender Stratocaster Billy Corgan Signature, Ibanez RG270
My Amp: Peavey Bandit 112
My Pedals: Blackstar HT-Dual, Boss DD-7, Boss CS-3, Boss RC-20
My Wishlist: New bridge + Pickups for my Ibanez, EHX POG2, EHX Cathedral / Holy Grail
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Eat-Sleep-andJam
Aug 11 2009, 10:51 PM
GMC:er
Posts: 2.412
Joined: 23-February 07
From: New york
That was nice. smile.gif

It would be really cool to see you write some more, and think more in a Song Structure.
Vocal Melody etc. etc.


But yeah, good start.

I like the sea of purity part.

Sounds like something I would write laugh.gif

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net


Don't miss today's free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!

Don't miss today's free blues, jazz & country licks. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!


--------------------
Join Me On the Lyrics Board !


"Find something worth dying for...



...And live for it"
-The Uncreator
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Keilnoth
Aug 13 2009, 04:12 PM
Learning Apprentice Player
Posts: 686
Joined: 10-April 09
From: Switzerland
Thanks a lot for your comment! It's really helping.
It's probably going to take me a full year to have a perfect melody and composition anyways. tongue.gif

How can I transcribe a vocal melody on the forum? smile.gif

Those lyrics are organized like INTRO CHORUS VERSE CHORUS VERSE ... OUTRO

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net


Don't miss today's free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!

Don't miss today's free blues, jazz & country licks. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!


This post has been edited by Keilnoth: Aug 14 2009, 08:18 AM


--------------------

My Guitars: Fender Stratocaster Billy Corgan Signature, Ibanez RG270
My Amp: Peavey Bandit 112
My Pedals: Blackstar HT-Dual, Boss DD-7, Boss CS-3, Boss RC-20
My Wishlist: New bridge + Pickups for my Ibanez, EHX POG2, EHX Cathedral / Holy Grail
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rated Htr
Aug 13 2009, 04:39 PM
Experienced Rock Star
Posts: 2.119
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Sorry,

I suddenly woke up from this dream
I have been allowing myslef to live in.

Typo there, nothing to worry about, advice for the future, analise the lyrics before posting them to see if there any accidents smile.gif. Like the use of the word "allowing", it seems you didn't want it, just gave it room to happen

Nothing is impossible but
Nothing changed since yesterday
Different feelings, Different pains

Oh, contradictions, my favourite things! smile.gif Sudden change of the character

Raking over my hearth, a brand in my heart
It is all fun till someone gets hurt.
That shouldn't be any of us.
I'll protect you and I'll protect us.

First verse, wonderful! Other three verses seem like a moral or advice.

Nothing is impossible but
something changed since the first day
Same conclusions, more solutions

More solutions? You lost me there mate, this contradiction doesn't feel right to me, I would say same conclusions, less solutions, since you've tried various ways to differ from those conclusions.

You told me, utterly fond of you and
Speaking of love, how clever people were
to me you are more than everything
Stop playing with me, stop leaving me

Finally, I'm reaching a consense of ideas, the wisdom a person gets and the fear that appears when someone is dependent on another person's atittudes

Nothing is impossible but
Everything changed from that day
Same story, same conclusion

Both standing on the edge
Things then forever changed
We fell of the cliff of purity
Diving into the sea of certainty

I suddenly wake up from this dream
I am allowing myslef to live in.
But nothing changed since yesterday

This reminds me alot of Kingdom Hearts smile.gif. Starting dreams, hoping utophies, finding out the logical truth of reality after we allow ourselves to see it. Very good first lyrics mate, keep on writing smile.gif

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net


Don't miss today's free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!

Don't miss today's free blues, jazz & country licks. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!


--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Jesse
Aug 13 2009, 04:51 PM
GMC:er
Posts: 2.348
Joined: 5-July 08
From: Enschede/overijssel/Nederland
kingdom hearts? I frikking love that game.

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net


Don't miss today's free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!

Don't miss today's free blues, jazz & country licks. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!


--------------------
Don't just play it. Feel it!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Keilnoth
Aug 13 2009, 09:02 PM
Learning Apprentice Player
Posts: 686
Joined: 10-April 09
From: Switzerland
QUOTE
More solutions? You lost me there mate, this contradiction doesn't feel right to me, I would say same conclusions, less solutions, since you've tried various ways to differ from those conclusions.


It's still about contradiction and how confusing are those feelings when love is impossible. NoOooO IT'S POSSIBLE!.

Here, we still have the same conclusions even though we have more solutions. The contradiction is perhaps on the inversion of both terms as well. If you read "more solutions, same conclusions", then the sentence has much more sense.

But I wrote it that way because in the 3rd chorus I've already finished the verse by the word conclusion. tongue.gif

Sorry for the typo... I've corrected it. And thanks a lot for reading.

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net


Don't miss today's free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!

Don't miss today's free blues, jazz & country licks. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!


--------------------

My Guitars: Fender Stratocaster Billy Corgan Signature, Ibanez RG270
My Amp: Peavey Bandit 112
My Pedals: Blackstar HT-Dual, Boss DD-7, Boss CS-3, Boss RC-20
My Wishlist: New bridge + Pickups for my Ibanez, EHX POG2, EHX Cathedral / Holy Grail
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Alexiaden93
Aug 15 2009, 11:44 PM
Learning Rock Star
Posts: 1.518
Joined: 16-April 09
From: Sandnes, Norway
Beautiful lyrics, man ! smile.gif I can't wait to hear the melody... biggrin.gif

And since we're checking for typos ...
"We fell off the cliff of purity" smile.gif

Keep it up, 'dis gonna be good.

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net


Don't miss today's free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!

Don't miss today's free blues, jazz & country licks. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!


--------------------
My YouTube Channel
Lost in all the 2000+ GMC lessons? Check my Lesson Plan


Guitars
Fender American Standard Stratocaster - Olympic White body, Maple fretboard, White Pearl pickguard, 21 frets, SSS
Yamaha Pacifica

Amplifier
Marshall 15CDR, 45 watts


Recording equipment/software
Line 6 POD Studio GX
Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000
Reaper v3.04
Sony Vegas Pro 8.0
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Frederik
Aug 15 2009, 11:57 PM
Learning Tone Seeker
Posts: 616
Joined: 30-January 09
From: Aalborg, Denmark
i usually dont like reading lyrics by themselves, but this is great smile.gif esspecially for a love song, where the lyrics are often plain and (too) simple

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net


Don't miss today's free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!

Don't miss today's free blues, jazz & country licks. Plus all our lessons are packed with free content!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 




RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 19th March 2024 - 07:25 AM