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> When Its Time To Go?, And get a new guitar
Jakub Luptovec
post Sep 3 2009, 09:10 PM
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Few minutes ago I get into really heavy argument with my mother and sister (them ganging up on me), that new guitar for me is waste.

I am playing for two years, practicing up to 16 hours a day - guitar is my passion, yet sometimes I have those ideas to just throw it out of window (especially while practicing for too long biggrin.gif). And she now came to me, telling me, that I am not that good player, that my guitar is good enough for me, that I think too much of myself and I dont know anything about guitars after playing for two years (thousands of guitars came through my hands tho...).

I have money for laptop for university and (while selling my guitar) also for new higher ranged Ibanez. My guitar just doesnt.. fit in my hands anymore.. its that feeling, that its time to move on and get a new one.. I dont know how to tell that feeling - I just hope, that I am not alone in that, since now I look like a fool, having no way to describe, WHY I NEED new guitar..

Any help pls?sad.gif

Note that she played acoustic as self taught when yount (40 years ago) but she never even touched electric and doesnt know anything about them.

This post has been edited by Jakub Luptovec: Sep 3 2009, 09:34 PM


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audiopaal
post Sep 3 2009, 09:38 PM
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Your mom and sister told you you´re not that good of a player and that you think too highly of yourself?
Hmm, seems to me they think too highly of themselves about guitar and guitarist knowledge wink.gif

I know the feeling as well, and I went and got myself a new guitar at that point.
That actually made it more fun to play, which led to me playing more and eventually turned me in to a better guitarist.

I´m not saying you should go against your parents, but try to make them understand that a new guitar (a better one) will actually help your playing, and believe me it will smile.gif

Hope you get your new guitar mate, good luck! smile.gif

This post has been edited by audiopaal: Sep 3 2009, 09:38 PM
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superize
post Sep 3 2009, 09:40 PM
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QUOTE (audiopaal @ Sep 3 2009, 10:38 PM) *
Your mom and sister told you you´re not that good of a player and that you think too highly of yourself?
Hmm, seems to me they think too highly of themselves about guitar and guitarist knowledge wink.gif

I know the feeling as well, and I went and got myself a new guitar at that point.
That actually made it more fun to play, which led to me playing more and eventually turned me in to a better guitarist.

I´m not saying you should go against your parents, but try to make them understand that a new guitar (a better one) will actually help your playing, and believe me it will smile.gif

Hope you get your new guitar mate, good luck! smile.gif


I know the feeling... My parents are never to happy when i am buying new gear that why i never tell them untill after i have ordered it.......


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Jakub Luptovec
post Sep 3 2009, 09:41 PM
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Yea, thats what I told them and they told me, that I cant handle criticism.

I just feel, that I need this kind of stimulation:D You know - keeping the evil G.A.S. in check biggrin.gif

Btw. Superize, you are living proof, that I am not wrong - you are here 11 days less than me (so I guess, we are on ply same level - judging from the effort you put into REC smile.gif ) and yet you have two guitars tongue.gif

This post has been edited by Jakub Luptovec: Sep 3 2009, 09:43 PM


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Fran
post Sep 3 2009, 09:49 PM
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QUOTE (Jakub Luptovec @ Sep 3 2009, 10:10 PM) *
I am playing for two years, practicing up to 16 hours a day - guitar is my passion


Wow. That statement alone justifies a new guitar purchase in my book!

But then again, only you can know which kind of "resistance" you are facing laugh.gif smile.gif
Tell you what, try to convince them with solid, objective facts. Also maybe try to earn some extra cash doing some jobs or saving more than usual to cover the "economic" part of the problem, and you should be OK, given time wink.gif



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Muris Varajic
post Sep 3 2009, 09:50 PM
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QUOTE (superize @ Sep 3 2009, 10:40 PM) *
I know the feeling... My parents are never to happy when i am buying new gear that why i never tell them untill after i have ordered it.......


laugh.gif Brilliant!!


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Jakub Luptovec
post Sep 3 2009, 09:51 PM
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QUOTE (Fran @ Sep 3 2009, 10:49 PM) *
Wow. That statement alone justifies a new guitar purchase in my book!

But then again, only you can know which kind of "resistance" you are facing laugh.gif smile.gif
Tell you what, try to convince them with solid, objective facts. Also maybe try to earn some extra cash doing some jobs or saving more than usual to cover the "economic" part of the problem, and you should be OK, given time wink.gif



Well the funny stuff is, those are actually my money, they are taliking about.. I dont want a single penny from them. I am just furious for them, sticking their uneducated noses into my business. On the other hand, it made me think, wheter or not there is some truth in what they say.

This post has been edited by Jakub Luptovec: Sep 3 2009, 09:51 PM


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Pedja Simovic
post Sep 3 2009, 09:51 PM
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If you are feelings are too strong for music and guitar I would say go for it. Its your big passion and you should be allowed to do things you enjoy in your life most!


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MickeM
post Sep 3 2009, 09:57 PM
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QUOTE (Jakub Luptovec @ Sep 3 2009, 10:41 PM) *
Yea, thats what I told them and they told me, that I cant handle criticism.

I don't understand why they would say the things they said, what's the point of trying to crush you and take away your confidence? huh.gif

You never know if your first guitar is for you, starting with guitar you don't know what's good and what's bad and what suits you. After two years with your first guitar I agree with you it's time for new gear wink.gif


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Jakub Luptovec
post Sep 3 2009, 10:01 PM
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QUOTE (MickeM @ Sep 3 2009, 10:57 PM) *
I don't understand why they would say the things they said, what's the point of trying to crush you and take away your confidence? huh.gif

You never know if your first guitar is for you, starting with guitar you don't know what's good and what's bad and what suits you. After two years with your first guitar I agree with you it's time for new gear wink.gif


This is JUST my point.. exactly. They said to me "How come, you were so happy when you got it, you said its so great" - of course I did, its not some 200$ Squier, its 500$ Cort with EMG-hz, Floyd etc.

Meh enough of ranting - I just needed some confort from fellow guitarists, who can see through my eyes..


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David Wallimann
post Sep 3 2009, 10:03 PM
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That's a tough situation...
The way I see it is that you have been playing already 2 years.. I think if that instrument was not for you, you would have given up already...
Having a new instrument is not a bad idea from an instructor point of view. You will progress faster with a good instrument. Plus it keeps you motivated to play more..
On the other hand, you still need to respect your mother's opinion...
Could you maybe have a serious conversation with her about it?
Tell her that David from GMC said that you should get a new guitar.. That might help.. lol!


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ZakkWylde
post Sep 3 2009, 10:07 PM
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Problem is solved easily:

Get a job and work on the weekends and in the afternoons. There is no way your parents can tell you what to do with your hard earned money!

Look at me, I am 20 years old, have played for three years and look at my Gearlist (yes major GAS...)

My parents have not payed one bit of my guitar stuff other than my first guitar and amp. I payed for all that stuff by hurling beer kegs into bar-basements for 7 Euros/Hour. My parents sure aren't happy about me buying too much gear but they also say: It's your money, do what you want with it!


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Muris Varajic
post Sep 3 2009, 10:12 PM
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Deep inside I want to believe that your mom and sister wish you nothing but best for you.
So maybe in a way they think that you can still play your current guitar while
saving money for something else or eventually a new guitar after a while.
That's family, people share things and more of that.
I'm with David here, you should really talk with your mom and sister more
and do it "cool head".
Major goal is that you ALL are happy,
I know it's your money and your decision but calm talk can solve many things
and everyone can be a winner, in a way.


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Jakub Luptovec
post Sep 3 2009, 10:17 PM
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QUOTE (ZakkWylde @ Sep 3 2009, 11:07 PM) *
My parents sure aren't happy about me buying too much gear but they also say: It's your money, do what you want with it!


Well we have a lot in common I see - those money are mine, my parents disagree as well, I am nineteen, working as well. The only thing that I envy you are parents, believing, that you know your stuff...

QUOTE (Muris Varajic @ Sep 3 2009, 11:12 PM) *
Deep inside I want to believe that your mom and sister wish you nothing but best for you.
So maybe in a way they think that you can still play your current guitar while
saving money for something else or eventually a new guitar after a while.
That's family, people share things and more of that.
I'm with David here, you should really talk with your mom and sister more
and do it "cool head".
Major goal is that you ALL are happy,
I know it's your money and your decision but calm talk can solve many things
and everyone can be a winner, in a way.

Yeah.. I know I can still play my current guitar. Its all about motivation.. I feel that it would suit me and now, when the order is DONE, they come to me, telling me, that I am not good enough, that I dont understand that, that I am behaving, like I am playing for 20 years etc etc etc.

Try to stay cool, when this is said to you by somebody, who still supports you.. and now they tell you dont actually play that good and that in their opinion, you are just bragging, not knowing your stuff.

There is nothing, that I love more than music and guitar.. all those sweeps, scales and melodies. It hits you when you hear that.

This post has been edited by Jakub Luptovec: Sep 3 2009, 10:17 PM


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Muris Varajic
post Sep 3 2009, 10:32 PM
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QUOTE (Jakub Luptovec @ Sep 3 2009, 11:17 PM) *
Yeah.. I know I can still play my current guitar. Its all about motivation.. I feel that it would suit me and now, when the order is DONE, they come to me, telling me, that I am not good enough, that I dont understand that, that I am behaving, like I am playing for 20 years etc etc etc.

Try to stay cool, when this is said to you by somebody, who still supports you.. and now they tell you dont actually play that good and that in their opinion, you are just bragging, not knowing your stuff.

There is nothing, that I love more than music and guitar.. all those sweeps, scales and melodies. It hits you when you hear that.


I know the feel like everyone here at GMC, no worries.
All I'm saying that imo there's no need to have any sort of confrontation
with your mother and sister about that topic.
Have a nice conversation and solve things if possible.

Now, what confuses me now is the very title of the topic.
I do not know the answer to be honest,
sometimes you have to make that step and see if you were wrong or right. smile.gif


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JCJXXL
post Sep 4 2009, 12:30 AM
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I don't have an answer, more of a comment for all of the parents here on GMC. I'm a fairly new father (I have a 17 month old little boy) and as a parent I want nothing but the world for him. And that includes any dreams he'll have when he's older. I can't imagine not supporting your child in a positive manner and helping them acheive their goals/dreams. And so what if your child doesn't reach the ultimate goal (becoming Steve Vai or playing in the NFL) there is so much that can be learned along the journey that will affect other areas of their life in a positive manner.

Anyway, just wanted to voice my thoughts. Good luck and it will all work out.

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Ivan Milenkovic
post Sep 4 2009, 12:44 AM
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I suggest that you calm down and listen to Muris advice, with a calm talk you can accomplish lots of things, as opposed confrontation and acting angry. This never works - specially with family! The problem with your mother is probably that she doesn't really know exactly how important this guitar is for you, so if you make an effort to really be honest about it and explain to her that you want it, possibly you will get a support.



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blindwillie
post Sep 4 2009, 07:00 AM
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QUOTE (Jakub Luptovec @ Sep 3 2009, 11:01 PM) *
This is JUST my point.. exactly. They said to me "How come, you were so happy when you got it, you said its so great" - of course I did, its not some 200$ Squier, its 500$ Cort with EMG-hz, Floyd etc.

Meh enough of ranting - I just needed some confort from fellow guitarists, who can see through my eyes..

I'd guess they simply don't understand the process of evolution a new guitarist goes through.
To them a guitar is as good as guitar if it isn't pure junk. It's good enough to them.
They don't understand how your preferences change or how you and your understanding of what you want a guitar to deliver change. Or how you learn the sound and "feel" of the guitar you want.
Or how satisfying your GAS will put more fun into the playing tongue.gif

It's "natural" that you want your gear to follow with your development.

Your profile says you are 19 and you say you will use your own money.
Are you expected to use those money to something else?
IMO they can give you their view of it, but they can't tell you what to do, and the way I see it they should support you instead of putting you down, but I am not them and I don't know you or your family or the relation between you.
As said already, better than starting a war over it would be to talk to them and try to sort it out calmly.


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djohnneay
post Sep 4 2009, 10:16 AM
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I'm having the same problem with my mom. Luckily my dad understands because he is kind of an audiophile (he doesn't play an instrument though) but I also feel sometimes like I don't know my stuff just because she tells me I don't know.

So when going to the music store I'm taking my dad so he can convince mom smile.gif
My anwser would be : take your dad with you to the music store ! dads understand !

EDIT : You could also take your guitar at hand and blow your mom and sister away ! Let the guitar speak for you !

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Jakub Luptovec
post Sep 4 2009, 10:21 AM
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QUOTE (djohnneay @ Sep 4 2009, 11:16 AM) *
I'm having the same problem with my mom. Luckily my dad understands because he is kind of an audiophile (he doesn't play an instrument though) but I also feel sometimes like I don't know my stuff just because she tells me I don't know.

So when going to the music store I'm taking my dad so he can convince mom smile.gif
My anwser would be : take your dad with you to the music store ! dads understand !

EDIT : You could also take your guitar at hand and blow your mom and sister away ! Let the guitar speak for you !


I've been sitting there with them, playing some blues and jazz and they took it that I was mocking them, that guitar is more important for me, than their opinion on my playing.

On the otherhand, however, it has all been settled this morning (I basically took the best out of this thread and told it to her) and if all goes well, it will be in my hands in few hours!!! And nothing can stop me now, from controlling the world! ph34r.gif Mohahahahaha :evil laughter:

This post has been edited by Jakub Luptovec: Sep 4 2009, 10:22 AM


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