> HEY MAN, I really need your help...

...the thing is, I need you to start progressing faster then ever, but to achieve that I need your help:

* Don't know where to start? Just pm me and we will sort it out directly, I am online every day.

* Join My Army. Sounds aggressive? It is! We can study anything from the most fearsome picking techniques to bombastic songwriting. A medal of honor awaits the brave. Seriously, this is an opportunity for you to get a personalised learning experience...what are you waiting for?!

* Join my next video chat! GMC startpage holds a video chat schedule. We always cover a lot of ground and have fun. Remember that you don't need any previous knowledge, and you can be passive in the chat.

* Jam with me - you will find active collabs here.

* Post a topic on this board, guitar related or not - doesn't matter! You will find that chatting with instructors boosts your motivation to practice.

* You haven't missed my latest video lessons, have you?

* Finally I want to tell you a secret. Nah I changed my mind - pm me instead ;)

3 Pages V  < 1 2 3  
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> "cirse" In English!, Could you give me your opinions?
newguyatgmc
post Nov 11 2009, 04:19 PM
Post #41


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 208
Joined: 8-July 09
From: seattle
Member No.: 7.370



Hey Gabriel,
The song is good. But, I have some feedback. When you have the bass with vocals going on I think the bass is too loud, I think the vocals sound should not be over powered by the bass. Rest of the song is good. I would not go too far correcting tthe pronunciation, if is affects the melody. There have been songs by great artists where they pronounce things differently. (Billie jean is a great example)

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
ItsMe
post Nov 11 2009, 05:01 PM
Post #42


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 822
Joined: 11-March 08
From: Boston, MA
Member No.: 4.541



First of all the song is really great and the vocals are expressive and captivating. Hope you will be successful with the song and find a broader audience in English speaking or English centric countries. Now to the pronunciation. Of course there are words where it is apparent that Luciana is not a native speaker. But it also adds some slightly exotic vibe that makes it really interesting. If you want to strive for perfect pronunciation though, Luciana should focus on a clearer articulation of e and i. I refer here to words like distress (the i is formed too far up in the nasopharynx, means the tongue comes up but shouldn’t). Another one is “will”. She makes the i too long, it sounds more like wiihl. Same in whisper or killing. The “i” in front of more nasal consonant combinations like ng are also something to focus on. “Said” is slightly over pronounced, but that might be part of the phrasing. Same with the e in ear. Another thing to look for is the combination of p and l as in place or please. She pronounces it more like bl (sounds a little like blace).
But again I love it like it is. Great song, great singing. smile.gif


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
newguyatgmc
post Nov 11 2009, 05:50 PM
Post #43


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 208
Joined: 8-July 09
From: seattle
Member No.: 7.370



Well I still think the way she says killing is so nice and sweet...I love it that way...Pllllllleaaaaaaaaaaaaassssee dont change those things..

This post has been edited by newguyatgmc: Nov 11 2009, 05:52 PM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
ItsMe
post Nov 11 2009, 07:04 PM
Post #44


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 822
Joined: 11-March 08
From: Boston, MA
Member No.: 4.541



I back that up smile.gif


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
kaznie_NL
post Nov 11 2009, 07:45 PM
Post #45


Experienced Tone Seeker
*

Group: Passive
Posts: 4.809
Joined: 8-December 07
From: Hedel, Netherlands
Member No.: 3.471



I start to love your song more and more... I'm going to listen right now again tongue.gif


--------------------
My YouTube Channel Here

My Rec Takes Here


--- GEAR ---
Ibanez SA08LTD2 BAR
Vox AD50VT
Pod Farm
Line 6 Pod Studio GX
El Cheapo Strat
Dunlop Slide
Korg Toneworks AX5G
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
rokchik
post Nov 11 2009, 11:13 PM
Post #46


Moderator - The Dark Canuck
Group Icon

Group: GMC Senior
Posts: 2.726
Joined: 22-March 07
From: The Great White North
Member No.: 1.395



QUOTE (Gabriel Leopardi @ Nov 11 2009, 10:46 AM) *
laugh.gif laugh.gif ok,,, just when you are listening to Cirse! laugh.gif


That is probably safest laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif However I listen to Cirse a lot wink.gif

I've played " Something Will Remain" for the friends I gave Bi-Polar to for christmas last year and also a few others and they all love it. They can't wait for more. Not sure yet but I may need more copies of Bi-Polar smile.gif I'll let you know though.

rok
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Gabriel Leopardi
post Nov 12 2009, 03:34 PM
Post #47


Instructor
Group Icon

Group: GMC Instructor
Posts: 29.705
Joined: 3-March 07
From: Argentina
Member No.: 1.289



QUOTE (newguyatgmc @ Nov 11 2009, 12:19 PM) *
Hey Gabriel,
The song is good. But, I have some feedback. When you have the bass with vocals going on I think the bass is too loud, I think the vocals sound should not be over powered by the bass. Rest of the song is good. I would not go too far correcting tthe pronunciation, if is affects the melody. There have been songs by great artists where they pronounce things differently. (Billie jean is a great example)



Hi! Thank you for the feedback! This is just a mixdown not a final mix that's why we didn't work too much on the mix and voice edition. smile.gif

QUOTE (ItsMe @ Nov 11 2009, 01:01 PM) *
First of all the song is really great and the vocals are expressive and captivating. Hope you will be successful with the song and find a broader audience in English speaking or English centric countries. Now to the pronunciation. Of course there are words where it is apparent that Luciana is not a native speaker. But it also adds some slightly exotic vibe that makes it really interesting. If you want to strive for perfect pronunciation though, Luciana should focus on a clearer articulation of e and i. I refer here to words like distress (the i is formed too far up in the nasopharynx, means the tongue comes up but shouldn't). Another one is "will". She makes the i too long, it sounds more like wiihl. Same in whisper or killing. The "i" in front of more nasal consonant combinations like ng are also something to focus on. "Said" is slightly over pronounced, but that might be part of the phrasing. Same with the e in ear. Another thing to look for is the combination of p and l as in place or please. She pronounces it more like bl (sounds a little like blace).
But again I love it like it is. Great song, great singing. smile.gif



Hello ItsMe! Thanks a lot for taking the time for such a complete and helpfull feedback! This will really help us to know which things we have to work on. smile.gif

QUOTE (newguyatgmc @ Nov 11 2009, 01:50 PM) *
Well I still think the way she says killing is so nice and sweet...I love it that way...Pllllllleaaaaaaaaaaaaassssee dont change those things..



laugh.gif laugh.gif OK!


--------------------
My lessons

Do you need a Guitar Plan?
Join Gab's Army

Check my band:Cirse
Check my soundcloud:Soundcloud

Please subscribe to my:Youtube Channel
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Gabriel Leopardi
post Nov 12 2009, 06:23 PM
Post #48


Instructor
Group Icon

Group: GMC Instructor
Posts: 29.705
Joined: 3-March 07
From: Argentina
Member No.: 1.289



QUOTE (kaznie_NL @ Nov 11 2009, 03:45 PM) *
I start to love your song more and more... I'm going to listen right now again tongue.gif



It's great to read it! smile.gif

QUOTE (rokchik @ Nov 11 2009, 07:13 PM) *
That is probably safest laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif However I listen to Cirse a lot wink.gif

I've played " Something Will Remain" for the friends I gave Bi-Polar to for christmas last year and also a few others and they all love it. They can't wait for more. Not sure yet but I may need more copies of Bi-Polar smile.gif I'll let you know though.

rok


That sounds great Rok!! I'll let you know when the re-edition of bi-polar is done! smile.gif


--------------------
My lessons

Do you need a Guitar Plan?
Join Gab's Army

Check my band:Cirse
Check my soundcloud:Soundcloud

Please subscribe to my:Youtube Channel
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Luciana Segovia
post Nov 13 2009, 07:32 PM
Post #49


Singing Instructor
Group Icon

Group: GMC Instructor
Posts: 497
Joined: 2-July 07
From: Argentina
Member No.: 2.226



QUOTE (ItsMe @ Nov 11 2009, 05:01 PM) *
First of all the song is really great and the vocals are expressive and captivating. Hope you will be successful with the song and find a broader audience in English speaking or English centric countries. Now to the pronunciation. Of course there are words where it is apparent that Luciana is not a native speaker. But it also adds some slightly exotic vibe that makes it really interesting. If you want to strive for perfect pronunciation though, Luciana should focus on a clearer articulation of e and i. I refer here to words like distress (the i is formed too far up in the nasopharynx, means the tongue comes up but shouldn’t). Another one is “will”. She makes the i too long, it sounds more like wiihl. Same in whisper or killing. The “i” in front of more nasal consonant combinations like ng are also something to focus on. “Said” is slightly over pronounced, but that might be part of the phrasing. Same with the e in ear. Another thing to look for is the combination of p and l as in place or please. She pronounces it more like bl (sounds a little like blace).
But again I love it like it is. Great song, great singing. smile.gif



WOW! that's a great feedback! perfect explanation of the articulation. I'll work on my "e" and "i". and I understad perfectly the consonant combinations. Thanxs a lot! very clear!


QUOTE (newguyatgmc @ Nov 11 2009, 05:50 PM) *
Well I still think the way she says killing is so nice and sweet...I love it that way...Pllllllleaaaaaaaaaaaaassssee dont change those things..


hahahahahahaah laugh.gif




--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Luciana Segovia
post Nov 13 2009, 08:43 PM
Post #50


Singing Instructor
Group Icon

Group: GMC Instructor
Posts: 497
Joined: 2-July 07
From: Argentina
Member No.: 2.226



QUOTE (Ivan Milenkovic @ Nov 1 2009, 12:58 PM) *
I hope this is a beginning of an international career! smile.gif

Awesome Gab, song sounds great, and chorus is excellent! Production is really kicking nicely, very smooth track, and pleasant for listening, which is very important. It has a great flow to it. smile.gif

There are some places where I think pronunciation is a bit strange, but since I'm not native English speaker, take this with a pinch of salt. Here are my observations if it is OK:

Come close to me, astonish me, be slow and quiet
Come close to me, and always whisper in my ear.
And tell me it is true.


It is said that the unconscious is so endless
[Reality] is everything that you set going
I want to hear you...


No one could get in, killing all my [distress]
Leaving behind all my strong will, something will remain.


Well now tell me what I should do, oh my free spirit
Show me that place, that holy place, where we shall be together.


No one could get in, killing all my distress
Leaving behind all my strong will, something will remain.


Why are you [unfair] to me, and leave me to be lost and lonely?
Please talk to me, please give me your warm love.


No one could get in, killing all my distress
Leaving behind all my strong will, something will remain.



Thanks... this helps a lot!!!



QUOTE (rokchik @ Nov 1 2009, 11:23 PM) *
I think this is important suggestion, as like you said Gabriel, it is hard to translate but still keep the melody and feel of the original song.

But even with that being said, I think you guys rocked this one!!!! I loved the original, and I must apologize for my complete butchering of your beautiful language in my car as I drive to work. I might not have a clue of what you are singing about, or how to properly pronounce it, but I still tried to sing along smile.gif Now I really can sing along... much to the chagrin of my passengers I'm sure laugh.gif laugh.gif You guys know I'm a huge fan so now that I can also understand what you are writing it is very exciting.

Luci's voice is amazing, but singing in english I think she has that extra little something. Very exotic and refreshing. I can't wait to hear more.

No matter how you translate it.... CIRSE ROCKS!!!!!!



Thanks a lot Rokchik!!!!


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
blindwillie
post Nov 16 2009, 07:55 AM
Post #51


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 1.533
Joined: 28-March 07
From: Luleå, Sweden
Member No.: 1.434



O that was great! This goes straight into my iPhone.
Don't worry about the english, it's great. You can hear an accent here and there but that just gives it a personal touch imo.


--------------------

Schecter C1 Hellraiser EMG 81/85, replaced with JB/Jazz (SH4/SH2n) w. coilsplit
Schecter Revenger HB-105, replaced with EMG 81/85
Stratocaster Deluxe Players Noiseless
Ibanez 2550z
Blackstar HT5H, Blackheart BH5H w. BH112, Laney LX35D, Line6 Pod XT, Marshall MS-2
Headphones: Sennheiser RS120

Stay tuned...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Gabriel Leopardi
post Nov 17 2009, 07:11 PM
Post #52


Instructor
Group Icon

Group: GMC Instructor
Posts: 29.705
Joined: 3-March 07
From: Argentina
Member No.: 1.289



QUOTE (blindwillie @ Nov 16 2009, 03:55 AM) *
O that was great! This goes straight into my iPhone.
Don't worry about the english, it's great. You can hear an accent here and there but that just gives it a personal touch imo.


Thank you for the feedback man! smile.gif You can use the mp3 freely! wink.gif


--------------------
My lessons

Do you need a Guitar Plan?
Join Gab's Army

Check my band:Cirse
Check my soundcloud:Soundcloud

Please subscribe to my:Youtube Channel
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Keep_Rocking
post Dec 1 2009, 05:12 PM
Post #53


Learning Roadie
*

Group: Members
Posts: 136
Joined: 29-June 09
From: SC, Brazil
Member No.: 7.343



Wow man!


When I first read this topic I must confess I was frightened about what I was going to listen to.
To avoid being influenced by others point of view, I first listened to the music before reading the forum.


I'm not a native speaker, I'm Brazilian (and I guess people from Argentina and Brazil have almost the same accent when speaking English…) but usually I don't like English versions (Shakira, for example…btw I'm not comparing smile.gif )

But if you want to know my honest opinion, I really loved the accent and of course, the song!
Bravo Luciana! wink.gif


It sound very "natural and pleasant" to my ears!

Good Luck!

Now, I think it's time to buy a Cirse's album!

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Gabriel Leopardi
post Dec 2 2009, 03:27 AM
Post #54


Instructor
Group Icon

Group: GMC Instructor
Posts: 29.705
Joined: 3-March 07
From: Argentina
Member No.: 1.289



QUOTE (Keep_Rocking @ Dec 1 2009, 01:12 PM) *
Wow man!


When I first read this topic I must confess I was frightened about what I was going to listen to.
To avoid being influenced by others point of view, I first listened to the music before reading the forum.


I'm not a native speaker, I'm Brazilian (and I guess people from Argentina and Brazil have almost the same accent when speaking English…) but usually I don't like English versions (Shakira, for example…btw I'm not comparing smile.gif )

But if you want to know my honest opinion, I really loved the accent and of course, the song!
Bravo Luciana! wink.gif


It sound very "natural and pleasant" to my ears!

Good Luck!

Now, I think it's time to buy a Cirse's album!


Hey! Thank you very much for the comments! It's really cool to know the opinion from a neighbor from Brazil! smile.gif Hope to play there soon!


--------------------
My lessons

Do you need a Guitar Plan?
Join Gab's Army

Check my band:Cirse
Check my soundcloud:Soundcloud

Please subscribe to my:Youtube Channel
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

3 Pages V  < 1 2 3
Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 


RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 21st October 2017 - 09:53 AM