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> When You Know That It Is Time To Give Up Of Your Band Mates?, Band mates that always mess things up
Keep_Rocking
post May 14 2010, 01:44 PM
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Hi guys, have you ever passed through a situation like this?

I'm in a band for about one year and a half. We have gigs sometimes (most of them only to friends) but recently we also had 2 gigs in clubs. Since the beginning I noticed that the style of the band were too "pop music" for me and in a 35 music repertory, there are only few that I really like and with nice solos.

But the main problem is that some of the band mates don't "play very well", don't like to rehearsal and they always mess thing up when we are in front of the audience.

We had a gig yesterday at night and "that mess" happened again: in the fist solo of Comfortably Numb the bass player did loud and wrong notes and it was almost impossible to do the solo. Few bars before the second solo, the drummer messed the rhythm and the music were so slow that was almost impossible to do that solo.

Guys, that is so frustrating… mad.gif

I know how much we can learn when playing with a band and I really don't want to play guitar only to my bedroom walls biggrin.gif but this was the last straw and I'm not going to play with them anymore.

What you did (or would do) in the same situation?

Sorry for so long topic…

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audiopaal
post May 14 2010, 01:53 PM
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If it doesn't work out, you're not going to learn much from being in that band anyway...
I've left bands before and joined new ones, that's the way it goes sometime smile.gif

I'd rather play by myself, than play with people that doesn't even try!
Find some new people to play with and keep rocking! smile.gif
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jstcrsn
post May 14 2010, 01:58 PM
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QUOTE (Keep_Rocking @ May 14 2010, 01:44 PM) *
Hi guys, have you ever passed through a situation like this?

I'm in a band for about one year and a half. We have gigs sometimes (most of them only to friends) but recently we also had 2 gigs in clubs. Since the beginning I noticed that the style of the band were too "pop music" for me and in a 35 music repertory, there are only few that I really like and with nice solos.

But the main problem is that some of the band mates don't "play very well", don't like to rehearsal and they always mess thing up when we are in front of the audience.

We had a gig yesterday at night and "that mess" happened again: in the fist solo of Comfortably Numb the bass player did loud and wrong notes and it was almost impossible to do the solo. Few bars before the second solo, the drummer messed the rhythm and the music were so slow that was almost impossible to do that solo.

Guys, that is so frustrating… mad.gif

I know how much we can learn when playing with a band and I really don't want to play guitar only to my bedroom walls biggrin.gif but this was the last straw and I'm not going to play with them anymore.

What you did (or would do) in the same situation?

Sorry for so long topic…


In a band that will last ,You have to be open and honest about the mistakes made
constructive criticism
If no one in the band can take this, the band is doomed any way
but you do have to criticize in a way that won't make people feel bad
if not ,the band will never improve
sit down with the bad and say "we need to talk about our mistakes made so that we can fix them. Make sure you put equal blame on yourself,because i'm sure you messed up some as well.Say if we never fix our mistakes, we will never improve
And i don't want to be in a band that never gets better

This is how we talk in my band-We don't get angry at each other , but we are honest

QUOTE (audiopaal @ May 14 2010, 01:53 PM) *
I'd rather play by myself, than play with people that doesn't even try!
Find some new people to play with and keep rocking! smile.gif


Kepp that dirty talk off this site blink.gif
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Keep_Rocking
post May 14 2010, 02:15 PM
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QUOTE (audiopaal @ May 14 2010, 09:53 AM) *
I'd rather play by myself, than play with people that doesn't even try!
Find some new people to play with and keep rocking! smile.gif

That's exactly what I'm intending to do. I'm getting some music classes just to meet people of other bands and make my "network" of music guys.
Thakns for your opinion! wink.gif

QUOTE (jstcrsn @ May 14 2010, 09:58 AM) *
In a band that will last ,You have to be open and honest about the mistakes made
constructive criticism
If no one in the band can take this, the band is doomed any way
but you do have to criticize in a way that won't make people feel bad
if not ,the band will never improve
sit down with the bad and say "we need to talk about our mistakes made so that we can fix them. Make sure you put equal blame on yourself,because i'm sure you messed up some as well.Say if we never fix our mistakes, we will never improve
And i don't want to be in a band that never gets better

This is how we talk in my band-We don't get angry at each other , but we are honest

I have just done this honest talk with them few days before our first "big gig". (I put also blame on me of course wink.gif ) but the only thing that happened is now I am known as the "angry guitar guy". I guess they don't even notice they are messing things up.
Anyways, thanks a lot for your comments jstcrsn. In fact you said what we should do to make any kind of "human relationship" works: be honest, be open, accept criticize, etc.
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jstcrsn
post May 14 2010, 02:29 PM
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QUOTE (Keep_Rocking @ May 14 2010, 02:15 PM) *
That's exactly what I'm intending to do. I'm getting some music classes just to meet people of other bands and make my "network" of music guys.
Thakns for your opinion! wink.gif


I have just done this honest talk with them few days before our first "big gig". (I put also blame on me of course wink.gif ) but the only thing that happened is now I am known as the "angry guitar guy". I guess they don't even notice they are messing things up.
Anyways, thanks a lot for your comments jstcrsn. In fact you said what we should do to make any kind of "human relationship" works: be honest, be open, accept criticize, etc.


Bail
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MickeM
post May 14 2010, 02:56 PM
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Band meeting!

Sit down without instruments and discuss your goals and methods to reach them. Then make your desicion.


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jafomatic
post May 14 2010, 04:04 PM
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If they're having fun in the band, and you're not having fun in the band, it may simply be time to decide if you're in the band for different reasons and perhaps move on.


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Adrian Figallo
post May 14 2010, 04:31 PM
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been there several times man..., try to talk to them, but i find out that there is a lot of people that doesn't really care about playing good.

get a new band, and rock!


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Daniel Realpe
post May 14 2010, 06:43 PM
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it's funny I talked about this just yesterday,

Our bassist doesn't screw up that much, but always forget and stops for 4 beats on some song cause he forgets,

and sometimes he adds some notes that make the part sound accelerated,

the thing is these things are so subtle and small but they make the band sound not "pro"

what we are gonna do is talk to him about it and then decide,


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Ivan Milenkovic
post May 14 2010, 10:39 PM
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Why don't you talk about it with your bandmates? Tell them to practice more, and focus on the things that are wrong. Not all people have same sense and ambitions when it comes to music, so you must be aware of that as well.


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SirJamsalot
post May 14 2010, 11:59 PM
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QUOTE (Ivan Milenkovic @ May 14 2010, 02:39 PM) *
Why don't you talk about it with your bandmates? Tell them to practice more, and focus on the things that are wrong. Not all people have same sense and ambitions when it comes to music, so you must be aware of that as well.


Tell them you know of this great site with online video tutorials and awesome teachers that can help them step up their game smile.gif

of course, if you're not happy with the situation, it's no crime to tell them why you're not happy, and if they're not willing to step up, then that's your cue to step out. Don't burn bridges though. Be cordial, and tell them you feel its time for you to move on.

Best of luck to you. cool.gif


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Bogdan Radovic
post May 15 2010, 12:19 AM
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You should definitely have a meeting and tell them your opinion just like you wrote in this thread. Discuss the mistakes and most important band goals for the future. One thing is sure, you won't find a perfect band as one doesn't exist.


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Keep_Rocking
post May 17 2010, 12:47 PM
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Hi guys! Thanks a lot for your encouraging comments.
I'm considering talk to them once again.

In fact, some things improved since last band meeting. The bass player and the drummer are getting music classes (and I can hear the improvement). And even the other guitar guy asked me about GMC wink.gif !

I'll keep in mind not to burn bridges as they are my friends as well...
But as Ivan said, they don't have the same musical ambitions as me: I really want to play breathtaking songs and getting better and better. It seems that they just want to "be in a band" because it looks cool. dry.gif

Thanks!
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Artemus
post May 17 2010, 02:28 PM
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QUOTE (Keep_Rocking @ May 17 2010, 12:47 PM) *
In fact, some things improved since last band meeting. The bass player and the drummer are getting music classes (and I can hear the improvement). And even the other guitar guy asked me about GMC wink.gif !


That's reassuring. Whenever I've been in your position, having the other band members take initiative was always tricky and, in my case, never happened.
If you're not entirely happy but don't want to split from the band because of friendships etc., it's not a betrayal to be in another band and juggle the two.


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Keep_Rocking
post May 17 2010, 05:20 PM
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QUOTE (Artemus @ May 17 2010, 10:28 AM) *
That's reassuring. Whenever I've been in your position, having the other band members take initiative was always tricky and, in my case, never happened.
If you're not entirely happy but don't want to split from the band because of friendships etc., it's not a betrayal to be in another band and juggle the two.

Hum... Other band sounds like a good ideia! I'll consider this!
Txs!
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Ivan Milenkovic
post May 17 2010, 08:04 PM
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Having several bands will in fact be something you will have to do, if you plan to become a serious musician, many jobs means greater incomes and connections for the future. A musician that doesn't cooperate with other musicians will hardly make it in his career.
There are many reasons people are joining bands, you have to understand that. These reasons change in time, and you have to be aware of that as well. Speak with your bandmates and just have fun creating songs and playing, this is what it is all about. If you see someone is having difficulties, help him overcome it by suggesting what to practice/study. It's their decision/problem if they accept/refuse that smile.gif


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