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> Holding Back
MonkeyDAthos
post Jan 14 2011, 08:51 PM
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you guys i am in a cover bands, and well we kind have 2 guitarist me as Rythm and Lead and other dude ...and well we all feel like he is holding us back, and the problem is that he is our friend ...and we just can't hey dam go learn to play then came back ::/ need some lights


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Sollesnes
post Jan 14 2011, 09:02 PM
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If he's holding you back, he is holding you back. If he can get his stuff together, work hard and not hold you back, then you can tell him to do that. If not then there is only one solution to have him not hold you back.
But... a cover band is a cover band. It won't go very far.

And I know he is a friend, and that stuff is always difficult. But if you both feel he is holding you back, then that is creating tension in the band and might put a strain on your friendship. Friends stay honest.
In this matter, you really just have to follow your heart. Everyone goes through it. smile.gif

And there is a big difference between holding you back because he is lazy, and holding you back by not having the skills. Skills can always be acquired, and for cover songs, quite fast smile.gif
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jstcrsn
post Jan 14 2011, 09:13 PM
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[quote name='MonkeyDAthos' date='Jan 14 2011, 08:51 PM' post='512262']
you guys i am in a cover bands, and well we kind have 2 guitarist me as Rythm and Lead and other dude ...and well we all feel like he is holding us back, and the problem is that he is our friend ...and we just can't hey dam go learn to play then came back ::/ need some lights
[/quoate]

he is your friend ,so you are going to lie to him
don't want to make you mad , but if a friend can't take the truth,is he that much of a friend
either way he will probably feel hurt ,but a wound from a lie cuts a lot deeper
I wish you luck
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dark dude
post Jan 15 2011, 12:06 AM
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Yeah I agree, be honest. He should be able to understand, as disappointed as he may be.

PS Get some vids up ASAP biggrin.gif

This post has been edited by dark dude: Jan 15 2011, 12:30 AM


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MonkeyDAthos
post Jan 15 2011, 11:16 AM
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ty guys

edit: i know this is a cover band, but when i did this i wasn't thinking in going far...just wanna have fun that was the main objective.
and i guess i will tell him what i think..but won't kick him out i will try helping him raising up his skills.

This post has been edited by MonkeyDAthos: Jan 15 2011, 12:08 PM


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Ivan Milenkovic
post Jan 17 2011, 11:37 PM
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Best way to solve this is to speak with him very honestly about it and in a polite manner. The band will not make it if band members don't work for it. Make sure he understands that. If the band has some goals (learn x songs for the gig, do 2 gigs this month, prepare posters, create new songs, etc..), and band member doesn't complete the task, it's fair to say that he doesn't contribute and doesn't deserve to be in a band. However, people are sensitive, and it needs to be handled professionally - be polite, truthful, and skip the bad language, arrogance and yelling. It's no good. Truth is always the strongest argument, and if the truth is on your side, you won't feel bad, no matter what happens.

This post has been edited by Ivan Milenkovic: Jan 17 2011, 11:37 PM


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MonkeyDAthos
post Jan 17 2011, 11:58 PM
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QUOTE (Ivan Milenkovic @ Jan 17 2011, 10:37 PM) *
Best way to solve this is to speak with him very honestly about it and in a polite manner. The band will not make it if band members don't work for it. Make sure he understands that. If the band has some goals (learn x songs for the gig, do 2 gigs this month, prepare posters, create new songs, etc..), and band member doesn't complete the task, it's fair to say that he doesn't contribute and doesn't deserve to be in a band. However, people are sensitive, and it needs to be handled professionally - be polite, truthful, and skip the bad language, arrogance and yelling. It's no good. Truth is always the strongest argument, and if the truth is on your side, you won't feel bad, no matter what happens.



very wise words mr'ivan


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Todd Simpson
post Jan 18 2011, 12:16 AM
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Well said Ivan. This type of thing is going to keep coming up as long as you are playing in bands. Being able to deal with stuff like this in a professional way is very important. Learning it early is a good idea. At some point, you may end up being the best player in a group which can represent it's own problems.


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Toni Suominen
post Jan 18 2011, 07:36 PM
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A very open communication is the key wink.gif


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MonkeyDAthos
post Jan 18 2011, 07:40 PM
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Ty all


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