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> What Don't Kill Ya..
Ben Higgins
post Dec 9 2011, 11:04 AM
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Hey Guys. I was thinking about a quote that I read from Bruce Lee - 'Adversity shocks you to higher levels'. What he meant by that was basically 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.

When we're tested by life we have a choice to see ourselves as beaten down by forces outside our control or we can use the discomfort to gain valuable nuggets of wisdom and strength. Basically, we should view these experiences as growing pains.. it hurts when you grow ! wink.gif

What experiences can you recall that were difficult for you but ultimately made you a better, stronger person ? How did it benefit your life ?



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Nihilist1
post Dec 9 2011, 11:39 AM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Dec 9 2011, 10:04 AM) *
Hey Guys. I was thinking about a quote that I read from Bruce Lee - 'Adversity shocks you to higher levels'. What he meant by that was basically 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.

When we're tested by life we have a choice to see ourselves as beaten down by forces outside our control or we can use the discomfort to gain valuable nuggets of wisdom and strength. Basically, we should view these experiences as growing pains.. it hurts when you grow ! wink.gif

What experiences can you recall that were difficult for you but ultimately made you a better, stronger person ? How did it benefit your life ?


Moving away from everyone I knew to a different state. Then moving to a somewhat foreign country where the only person I knew was my girlfriend. It made me realise that I could take care of myself, and others(even if it meant I had to go hungry every now and again) and that was a huge step forward. I was a very depressed teenager, and in doing what I did, I got over most of it. Every once in awhile, when I am down and out, I think of how Emily Remler never gave up no matter how hard things got. Because of this, I press myself to study for 11 and a half to 12 hours a day, no matter how tired I get.

You should have posted this little gem in here. I read it occasionally when I need a good kick in the pants.

http://www.geoffthompson.com/detailArticles.asp?id=57

Great thread by the way. If any younger people are listening(I know I am young too) don't give up. Life will definitely get better.


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Ben Higgins
post Dec 9 2011, 11:43 AM
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QUOTE (Nihilist1 @ Dec 9 2011, 10:39 AM) *
Moving away from everyone I knew to a different state. Then moving to a somewhat foreign country where the only person I knew was my girlfriend. It made me realise that I could take care of myself, and others(even if it meant I had to go hungry every now and again) and that was a huge step forward. I was a very depressed teenager, and in doing what I did, I got over most of it. Every once in awhile, when I am down and out, I think of how Emily Remler never gave up no matter how hard things got. Because of this, I press myself to study for 11 and a half to 12 hours a day, no matter how tired I get.

You should have posted this little gem in here. I read it occasionally when I need a good kick in the pants.

http://www.geoffthompson.com/detailArticles.asp?id=57

Great thread by the way. If any younger people are listening(I know I am young too) don't give up. Life will definitely get better.


Hey, that's definitely something that would push anyone into unfamiliar territory. But it's amazing how adaptable we are as human beings isn't it ?

That's the best thing about these things, the new skills and self belief we can take from it. I'm so pleased you like that article, I always think of it when I catch myself thinking how hard things are wink.gif


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Ivan Milenkovic
post Dec 9 2011, 12:29 PM
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Very good topic Ben. Every big change in my life was difficult for me, but it made me stronger and made me think about the past time. People often go through life and do things and "forget to think" about what they are doing, routinely executing thing after thing. When the change comes, it can be good for the head trip.

This post has been edited by Ivan Milenkovic: Dec 9 2011, 12:29 PM


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Sensible Jones
post Dec 9 2011, 02:12 PM
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Moving into a Flat with a Girlfriend. Later we split up and I stayed at the Flat. Money was so tight that I sometimes couldn't even afford a pint of Milk or a Loaf of Bread! I got by with the support of some good friends and family. Sure learned a lot about the value of Money and the value of friendship.
biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

I even sold a beloved 72 Thinline Telcaster to pay the Rent one month! One of the biggest regrets of my life!!
ohmy.gif

This post has been edited by Sensible Jones: Dec 9 2011, 02:13 PM


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Ben Higgins
post Dec 9 2011, 02:35 PM
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QUOTE (Sensible Jones @ Dec 9 2011, 01:12 PM) *
Moving into a Flat with a Girlfriend. Later we split up and I stayed at the Flat. Money was so tight that I sometimes couldn't even afford a pint of Milk or a Loaf of Bread! I got by with the support of some good friends and family. Sure learned a lot about the value of Money and the value of friendship.
biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

I even sold a beloved 72 Thinline Telcaster to pay the Rent one month! One of the biggest regrets of my life!!
ohmy.gif


Yeah, when the sh*t goes down you find out who your friends are smile.gif That sucks about the guitar though !! ohmy.gif


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Saoirse O'Shea
post Dec 9 2011, 03:00 PM
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QUOTE (Nihilist1 @ Dec 9 2011, 10:39 AM) *
... Emily Remler never gave up no matter how hard things got. ...


Who was a wonderful jazz guitar player - still enjoy listening to the albums she recorded some 30 odd years ago. Great talent that is sadly missed.

I saw my father beat my mum up quite a few times as when I was a kid mad.gif . Made me determined never to be like him. I have a general dislike nowadays for mysogyny and for macho and alpha male behaviour.


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Nihilist1
post Dec 9 2011, 03:14 PM
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QUOTE (tonymiro @ Dec 9 2011, 02:00 PM) *
Who was a wonderful jazz guitar player - still enjoy listening to the albums she recorded some 30 odd years ago. Great talent that is sadly missed.

I saw my father beat my mum up quite a few times as when I was a kid mad.gif . Made me determined never to be like him. I have a general dislike nowadays for mysogyny and for macho and alpha male behaviour.


Agreed. I never had to watch my parents do that(they divorced when I was 4 months old), but I grew up in and around Los Angeles. So I had to fight on nearly a daily basis at school. It taught me to keep my wits about me quite well. All those people who act macho are the most annoying ones, and they are usually the biggest cowards as well.


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Light the fire deep inside.
Light the fires!

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thefireball
post Dec 9 2011, 04:57 PM
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Going through something now with some people we know. They want to rule you, but you gotta stand firm. It matures you for sure.


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Gitarrero
post Dec 9 2011, 07:05 PM
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My girlfriend broke up with me about a year ago after being together for 9,5 years. I thought I'd never recover...now I live in another part of Germany, got a much better job than before, am working out much more, lost weight and met a couple of really great women during the last months. I've also went to every concert I wanted to see, had so much fun with my friends. So I made the best of the situation. My life is great right now, and I wouldn't have thought that a year ago!


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Ben Higgins
post Dec 9 2011, 09:06 PM
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QUOTE (thefireball @ Dec 9 2011, 03:57 PM) *
They want to rule you, but you gotta stand firm. It matures you for sure.


Yes, that's a horrible feeling when people won't let you have your own choices and want something else from you. Although I don't know your situation, I can definitely talk with experience how people's dissaproval can erode all your confidence slowly if you let it. It is definitely a hardening process as you say.

QUOTE (tonymiro @ Dec 9 2011, 02:00 PM) *
I saw my father beat my mum up quite a few times as when I was a kid mad.gif . Made me determined never to be like him. I have a general dislike nowadays for mysogyny and for macho and alpha male behaviour.


That's terrible to hear Tony. I can't really think of anything to say to it without sounding trivial. I can't stand violence against women.

QUOTE (Gitarrero @ Dec 9 2011, 06:05 PM) *
My girlfriend broke up with me about a year ago after being together for 9,5 years. I thought I'd never recover...now I live in another part of Germany, got a much better job than before, am working out much more, lost weight and met a couple of really great women during the last months. I've also went to every concert I wanted to see, had so much fun with my friends. So I made the best of the situation. My life is great right now, and I wouldn't have thought that a year ago!


Yes, you are now every man's envy.. super muscular German Playboy !! cool.gif


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Daniel Realpe
post Dec 9 2011, 10:24 PM
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QUOTE (Gitarrero @ Dec 9 2011, 07:05 PM) *
My girlfriend broke up with me about a year ago after being together for 9,5 years. I thought I'd never recover...now I live in another part of Germany, got a much better job than before, am working out much more, lost weight and met a couple of really great women during the last months. I've also went to every concert I wanted to see, had so much fun with my friends. So I made the best of the situation. My life is great right now, and I wouldn't have thought that a year ago!

I had a similar experience, coming out of a very troublesome relationship, I was in a very down point in my life about 4 years ago, but now I realise that was the best thing that came to happen to me.

I found out about E. Tolle and the spiritual side of our existence and it's been incredibly rewarding, to be able to understand the truth, which to me lies in the life and death of Jesus,

This post has been edited by Daniel Realpe: Dec 9 2011, 10:24 PM


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llibach
post Dec 10 2011, 02:07 PM
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Yeah things do make you stronger as well as making you grow up. A couple of years ago my older brother stole money from his work place where I also work. As well cheating my parents out of money to fund his gambling addiction, diden't have a clue about any of it and I'm talking thousands of pounds.
When it all came out I was in the car ready to go round and beat the shit out of him before my father called and begged me to think about why this happened. While I still can't understand how he could cheat the people he loved this way it made me realize that it was a form of illness and that things go deeper than we first think.
I also had to return to work where he'd stolen from, which also made me stonger in the fact that I don't care what people would say behind my back if their not strong enough to face me there not worth my time.
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Ben Higgins
post Dec 10 2011, 03:48 PM
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QUOTE (llibach @ Dec 10 2011, 01:07 PM) *
Yeah things do make you stronger as well as making you grow up. A couple of years ago my older brother stole money from his work place where I also work. As well cheating my parents out of money to fund his gambling addiction, diden't have a clue about any of it and I'm talking thousands of pounds.
When it all came out I was in the car ready to go round and beat the shit out of him before my father called and begged me to think about why this happened. While I still can't understand how he could cheat the people he loved this way it made me realize that it was a form of illness and that things go deeper than we first think.
I also had to return to work where he'd stolen from, which also made me stonger in the fact that I don't care what people would say behind my back if their not strong enough to face me there not worth my time.


Very interesting story, thanks for sharing. Yeah there's a lot of things going on in there.. it's amazing how things that start of as little indulgences can slowly start to take over our lives and then cause us to become totally irrational. Well, I hope things have improved for you and your family since then. smile.gif

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llibach
post Dec 10 2011, 04:34 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Dec 10 2011, 02:48 PM) *
Very interesting story, thanks for sharing. Yeah there's a lot of things going on in there.. it's amazing how things that start of as little indulgences can slowly start to take over our lives and then cause us to become totally irrational. Well, I hope things have improved for you and your family since then. smile.gif

Yes things have improved he went to a hostel for addicts for 9 months as well as doing time and now has a full time job and is going to become a father in a couple of months.
There no sign of any gambling any more and I hope that becoming a father channels his energies in the right direction. The point I try and make is that while my first reaction was fury it's made me realize that the first thing in most situations is THINK. Would me going round and decking him, have helped ? No it would have created more of a divide when we should have been pulling together.
Talking to him afterwards his whole life was centered around what horse ran at what time and if he won he'd be gutted that he didn't accumulate the bet with another to get more winnings he'd even put down 200 to try and win 50 back in what he belived were dead certs. A stupid thing in our minds but to him it was routine,never was there a point where he thought about quitting if he lost, only to put more money down to try and get it back.
Before this I would have labaled anyone doing this a thief and using the gambling as an excuse it's not till things happen to us that we start to see thing in the true light.
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Ben Higgins
post Dec 11 2011, 08:51 PM
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QUOTE (llibach @ Dec 10 2011, 03:34 PM) *
Yes things have improved he went to a hostel for addicts for 9 months as well as doing time and now has a full time job and is going to become a father in a couple of months.
There no sign of any gambling any more and I hope that becoming a father channels his energies in the right direction. The point I try and make is that while my first reaction was fury it's made me realize that the first thing in most situations is THINK. Would me going round and decking him, have helped ? No it would have created more of a divide when we should have been pulling together.
Talking to him afterwards his whole life was centered around what horse ran at what time and if he won he'd be gutted that he didn't accumulate the bet with another to get more winnings he'd even put down 200 to try and win 50 back in what he belived were dead certs. A stupid thing in our minds but to him it was routine,never was there a point where he thought about quitting if he lost, only to put more money down to try and get it back.
Before this I would have labaled anyone doing this a thief and using the gambling as an excuse it's not till things happen to us that we start to see thing in the true light.


I can't imagine that horrible grip that gambling has on you.. glad to hear that things are going better smile.gif


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Gitarrero
post Dec 11 2011, 09:41 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Dec 9 2011, 09:06 PM) *
Yes, you are now every man's envy.. super muscular German Playboy !! cool.gif


Haha, I am still working on the super muscular part of this! laugh.gif

But yeah...I kinda like the way my life went these last months smile.gif


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