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> Fears That You Have Overcome
Ben Higgins
post Aug 8 2012, 11:46 AM
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I was just thinking about old fears and how we can conquer them.

One of my most silly ones was that I was incredibly nervous about joining in conversations within a group of people I didn't know. I was literally scared of speaking. I felt like I didn't really have a voice and it was something I carried since childhood. Over the years I've managed to turn it around to the point where now I actually notice grown adults who are way older than me who are not confident at all about holding a conversation. It's not completely gone. It can still come back when I'm around people who are unpredictable and loud but it's a rare thing.

What former fears have you had that you have managed to overcome and dispel ?

This post has been edited by Ben Higgins: Aug 8 2012, 11:47 AM


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snackajacks
post Aug 8 2012, 12:46 PM
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GMC chat is full of crazy people that you don't know, maybe that has helped you biggrin.gif
I only overcame the fear that I didn't pass school biggrin.gif



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Cosmin Lupu
post Aug 8 2012, 01:50 PM
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Well, one of mine, a bit related to yours, Ben, would be the fear of engaging in conversation with...girls smile.gif Well, the guitar has definitely helped me gain confidence and all that, but there are moments when I feel EXTREMELY nervous about this whole thing. I remember one time at the seaside - I was about 19 years old I think biggrin.gif I met two ex highschool colleagues - two girls on the beach, sunbathing and not being classically beach dressed, if you get the idea behind the expression. They approached me and they were very happy to see me again after finishing highschool.... I was A MESS. I started shaking uncontrollably and ran away, telling them that I forgot to do something really urgent laugh.gif Yes, yes, Wolverine can be a lame-o too laugh.gif


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snackajacks
post Aug 8 2012, 01:52 PM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ Aug 8 2012, 12:50 PM) *
Well, one of mine, a bit related to yours, Ben, would be the fear of engaging in conversation with...girls smile.gif Well, the guitar has definitely helped me gain confidence and all that, but there are moments when I feel EXTREMELY nervous about this whole thing. I remember one time at the seaside - I was about 19 years old I think biggrin.gif I met two ex highschool colleagues - two girls on the beach, sunbathing and not being classically beach dressed, if you get the idea behind the expression. They approached me and they were very happy to see me again after finishing highschool.... I was A MESS. I started shaking uncontrollably and ran away, telling them that I forgot to do something really urgent laugh.gif Yes, yes, Wolverine can be a lame-o too laugh.gif


But now he has become Lady-killer-ine


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Ben Higgins
post Aug 8 2012, 01:59 PM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ Aug 8 2012, 01:50 PM) *
Well, one of mine, a bit related to yours, Ben, would be the fear of engaging in conversation with...girls smile.gif Well, the guitar has definitely helped me gain confidence and all that, but there are moments when I feel EXTREMELY nervous about this whole thing. I remember one time at the seaside - I was about 19 years old I think biggrin.gif I met two ex highschool colleagues - two girls on the beach, sunbathing and not being classically beach dressed, if you get the idea behind the expression. They approached me and they were very happy to see me again after finishing highschool.... I was A MESS. I started shaking uncontrollably and ran away, telling them that I forgot to do something really urgent laugh.gif Yes, yes, Wolverine can be a lame-o too laugh.gif


OMG ! I bet that image was hard to shake out of your mind ! tongue.gif


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Yash
post Aug 8 2012, 02:21 PM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ Aug 8 2012, 06:20 PM) *
Well, one of mine, a bit related to yours, Ben, would be the fear of engaging in conversation with...girls smile.gif Well, the guitar has definitely helped me gain confidence and all that, but there are moments when I feel EXTREMELY nervous about this whole thing. I remember one time at the seaside - I was about 19 years old I think biggrin.gif I met two ex highschool colleagues - two girls on the beach, sunbathing and not being classically beach dressed, if you get the idea behind the expression. They approached me and they were very happy to see me again after finishing highschool.... I was A MESS. I started shaking uncontrollably and ran away, telling them that I forgot to do something really urgent laugh.gif Yes, yes, Wolverine can be a lame-o too laugh.gif


Oh man... I understand you !! laugh.gif I am still like this laugh.gif Hopefully guitar playing would overcome it wink.gif What worked for you ?


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Saoirse O'Shea
post Aug 8 2012, 03:00 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Aug 8 2012, 11:46 AM) *
...

One of my most silly ones was that I was incredibly nervous about joining in conversations within a group of people I didn't know. I was literally scared of speaking. I...


I can empathise Ben.

I grew up and spent most of my childhood in Liverpool. When I was a young child before my parents divorced my father didn't want me to develop a scouse accent so much that he would take his belt to me if I spoke with one but at school if you didn't have a scouse accent you became a target. So I dealt with it by speaking as little as possible, to the point where I used to refuse to read out loud in class. (I could read I just wouldn't read out loud.) I ended up being sent to various educational psychologists and speech therapists, first because they thought that I couldn't read and then later to 'deal' with my not reading out loud. Despite all of that I'm still quiet and tend not to speak a lot. Nonetheless, when I was still in HE I did lectures and conference presentations to hundreds of people.


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Ben Higgins
post Aug 8 2012, 03:29 PM
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QUOTE (tonymiro @ Aug 8 2012, 03:00 PM) *
I can empathise Ben.

I grew up and spent most of my childhood in Liverpool. When I was a young child before my parents divorced my father didn't want me to develop a scouse accent so much that he would take his belt to me if I spoke with one but at school if you didn't have a scouse accent you became a target. So I dealt with it by speaking as little as possible, to the point where I used to refuse to read out loud in class. (I could read I just wouldn't read out loud.) I ended up being sent to various educational psychologists and speech therapists, first because they thought that I couldn't read and then later to 'deal' with my not reading out loud. Despite all of that I'm still quiet and tend not to speak a lot. Nonetheless, when I was still in HE I did lectures and conference presentations to hundreds of people.


Bloody hell.. parents really have no clue how much they traumatise their offspring sometimes do they ? Talk about pressure you don't need !


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Gabriel Leopardi
post Aug 8 2012, 03:55 PM
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Around 7 years ago I started to feel uncomfortable in places where there was too many people, like pubs, restaurants, concerts and so... I used to start feeling dizzy in those situations and I had to left the place. This thing started to become more seriously so I asked a professional. I had to go to a psychologist for some time until I started to control this problem. Fortunately this thing disappeared and I rarely feel bad in a situation like this one.


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Gitarrero
post Aug 8 2012, 06:26 PM
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Cosmin, you ran away from two basically naked chicks? The Hef is not proud of you!! wink.gif

I had so many fears until a few years back, and I was big a creating catastrophies in my head. Like: when I don't pass this test, I don't pass school...I won't get a job, my girlfriend will leave me!! and so on...
Well, my girlfriend legt me anyways, and after a really bad phase and a psychotherapy (which was the best thing I ever did) I realized my fears were gone. When I mess up in my job, I am not afraid of losing my job anymore (like I was before).
I'm in this state of "There's more to life, I've overcome so many obstacles, I will overcome more."
Or simply said: I just don't give a **** anymore cause I know what I can and that I am a good person. It took time to realize this, and still I slip sometimes (like yesterday when I heard that my ex had a new boyfriend, which kinda swept me off my feet. Crazy! Today I'm feeling better again and in a few days I will be my old self).

If you are afraid of something, just ask yourself "what's the worst thing that can happen?" And that will rarely happen anyway.


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Yash
post Aug 8 2012, 07:30 PM
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QUOTE (Gitarrero @ Aug 8 2012, 10:56 PM) *
Cosmin, you ran away from two basically naked chicks? The Hef is not proud of you!! wink.gif

I had so many fears until a few years back, and I was big a creating catastrophies in my head. Like: when I don't pass this test, I don't pass school...I won't get a job, my girlfriend will leave me!! and so on...
Well, my girlfriend legt me anyways, and after a really bad phase and a psychotherapy (which was the best thing I ever did) I realized my fears were gone. When I mess up in my job, I am not afraid of losing my job anymore (like I was before).
I'm in this state of "There's more to life, I've overcome so many obstacles, I will overcome more."
Or simply said: I just don't give a **** anymore cause I know what I can and that I am a good person. It took time to realize this, and still I slip sometimes (like yesterday when I heard that my ex had a new boyfriend, which kinda swept me off my feet. Crazy! Today I'm feeling better again and in a few days I will be my old self).

If you are afraid of something, just ask yourself "what's the worst thing that can happen?" And that will rarely happen anyway.


Ooh !! This one too in me sad.gif I visualize bad stuff, like after results of tests all summer sad.gif And that I am not gonna go to college ever ! And more stuff...

And your solution is simple to say, but extremely tough to implement... sad.gif I just can't.


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Slavenko Erazer
post Aug 8 2012, 08:30 PM
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QUOTE (snackajacks @ Aug 8 2012, 11:46 AM) *
GMC chat is full of crazy people that you don't know, maybe that has helped you biggrin.gif
I only overcame the fear that I didn't pass school biggrin.gif



Yeah, cnackajacks knows for sure!

Come to GMC chat, we will operate you from any fear, haha cool.gif
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Ben Higgins
post Aug 8 2012, 10:01 PM
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QUOTE (Gitarrero @ Aug 8 2012, 06:26 PM) *
I'm in this state of "There's more to life, I've overcome so many obstacles, I will overcome more."
Or simply said: I just don't give a **** anymore cause I know what I can and that I am a good person.


Yeah, I really relate to this. It took me a long time to get that 'Don't give a ****' attitude. It's a positive attitude that says you know that you're a decent person who puts good into the world so you don't have to feel bad about no crap for anybody ! smile.gif


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bleez
post Aug 9 2012, 12:43 AM
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I have a definite self confidence problem, although Ive not exactly overcome it yet.
I got into body building in my mid 20s which helped a lot, it was almost like building a set of armour. I started dabbling in martial arts as well which also helped although I still remember driving 45 minutes to my first judo class and just sitting in the car for 10 minutes then driving home! I done that twice before actually going in to the class rolleyes.gif



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jstcrsn
post Aug 9 2012, 01:20 AM
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okay,your topics ben, well, we should just call you doctor (phil) Ben
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post Aug 9 2012, 01:22 AM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Aug 8 2012, 02:01 PM) *
Yeah, I really relate to this. It took me a long time to get that 'Don't give a ****' attitude. It's a positive attitude that says you know that you're a decent person who puts good into the world so you don't have to feel bad about no crap for anybody ! smile.gif



Yeah, you can't fake it. The best thing, for all things, is to just be TRULY happy doing YOUR thing!! Then, you stop feeling insecure (because...."why?" be insecure? You're HAPPY!) and stop doing things for the wrong reason. It takes time, and effort(s) to get there, but then the rest is easier.



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Ben Higgins
post Aug 9 2012, 09:44 AM
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QUOTE (derper @ Aug 9 2012, 01:22 AM) *


Brilliant !! Was great to see that again.. going back a few years now ! biggrin.gif

QUOTE (bleez @ Aug 9 2012, 12:43 AM) *
I started dabbling in martial arts as well which also helped although I still remember driving 45 minutes to my first judo class and just sitting in the car for 10 minutes then driving home! I done that twice before actually going in to the class rolleyes.gif


I can imagine that. Judo is an intimidating art.. no hiding smile.gif


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Cosmin Lupu
post Aug 9 2012, 09:52 AM
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Hey derp, the vid is very cool and it made me look in the mirror laugh.gif kidding aside, there's another video which attracted my attention -



Do you want to succeed?


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Ben Higgins
post Aug 10 2012, 08:26 AM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ Aug 9 2012, 09:52 AM) *


Do you want to succeed?


I loved these vids, Cosmin.. thank you.

Be sure to watch part 2 at the end of this one. There's 2 different videos that are both called part 2 or Part II but find them both, they're worth it ! biggrin.gif


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Cosmin Lupu
post Aug 10 2012, 08:34 AM
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The way those african american dudes talk, is OFF THE HOOK! biggrin.gif It spices up the entire idea!


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