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> Top Ten Bassist Jokes:-
Sensible Jones
post Sep 7 2012, 10:46 AM
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I play Bass too, so before anyone accuses me of be 'Bassist'!!!!!

10. Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his band noticed?

9. How can you tell the stage is level at a gig?
The bassist drools outta both sides of their mouth.

8. what do you call it when two upright bassists playing in unison?
A minor second.

7. Why couldn’t the bassist get through the front door?
He couldn’t find the key and didn’t know when to come in!

6. A Bass Teacher is excited about getting a new, young student. The kid is comes in for his first lesson and learns all the notes on the E string. Next week he comes in and the instructor shows him all of the notes on the A string. The third week comes, the teacher is waiting, but the kid never shows up. Annoyed, he calls him to see where he is. The kid picks up and says, "Oh, sorry man, I got a gig..."

5. Why can’t bassists tell jokesTiming.

5. Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

4. How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the guitarist has to show him how to do it first.

3. How many country-western bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
1 - 5 - 1 - 5 - 1 - 5

2. How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The keyboard player will do it with her left hand.

1. A man goes on a vacation to a tropical island. As soon as the plane lands, he gets off and hears drumming. At first, he thinks, “This is pretty cool”. He ends up going to a luau and hears the drumming. He eats lunch and hears the drums. He goes to the beach and hears the drums. He tries to sleep, but can’t because of the constant drumming.

The drumming goes on for four days. The guy has to go down to the front desk because he can’t sleep. He asks the manager “What is the deal with these drums! Make them stop. I haven’t got any sleep this whole week!”

The manager of the hotel says “No. Drums don’t stop. You don’t want the drums to stop, sir.”

“Why?”

“Because when drums stop… Bass solo begins!”


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Ben Higgins
post Sep 7 2012, 11:04 AM
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Oh, I love this !!! biggrin.gif


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Gitarrero
post Sep 7 2012, 11:06 AM
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haha, awesome!
I also play bass (kinda), so here are two more:

How many guitarists do you need to change a lightbulb? 2. One to change the lightbulb and one who explains the bass player what's going on.

The band is on stage. The drummer is really into it and thinks "man, we are playing some awesome songs tonight!" The singer is looking at the crowd and thinks "what an amazing crowd we've got tonight!" The guitar player check out the girls and thinks "yeah, we've got some hot chicks right in the front row!" The bass player is playing and thinks " A A A A D D D D".


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bleez
post Sep 7 2012, 12:45 PM
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LMAO! those are brilliant laugh.gif


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You say 'minor pentatonic ' like it's a bad thing
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Yash
post Sep 7 2012, 02:03 PM
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laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif Amazing laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif


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Gabriel Leopardi
post Sep 7 2012, 02:34 PM
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hahahaha I will share this with my brother! Cirse's bass player. biggrin.gif


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Gitarrero
post Sep 7 2012, 03:00 PM
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I know I posted this one before, but it fits in here laugh.gif



and another one I found:



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Sensible Jones
post Sep 7 2012, 03:12 PM
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QUOTE (Gitarrero @ Sep 7 2012, 03:00 PM) *

I bought that Banjo one!!!!
It explains a lot!!!
laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif


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Gitarrero
post Sep 7 2012, 03:17 PM
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laugh.gif laugh.gif



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VilleFIN
post Sep 7 2012, 03:50 PM
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QUOTE
A journalist asked from bassist why he chose the bass.

-Why ?! There's 6 strings on a guitar and have I have only 5 fingers !!


QUOTE
Bassist complained his life at band rehearsal.

My girlfriend left me, I lost my job, I crashed my car and broke a bass string.

Other band members tried to cheer him up by asking that is there any positive things in his life ?

-Well, my Syphilis test was positive.


QUOTE
What's the difference between a contrabass and a coffin ?
In a contrabass the body is in outside.



QUOTE
What's the diffence between a camel and a bassist ?
Camel can live without drinking for one week.


QUOTE
What you get if you mix a bassist and a roadie ?

A bad roadie
.

This post has been edited by WeePee: Sep 7 2012, 04:33 PM


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superize
post Sep 7 2012, 04:27 PM
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I got one

There were two people walking down the street. One of them was a bass player and the other guy was also broke


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bleez
post Sep 7 2012, 04:45 PM
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QUOTE (Gitarrero @ Sep 7 2012, 03:00 PM) *
and another one I found:



dude, he has chicks in his video huh.gif if you make any more comedy vids you should totally have chicks in them cool.gif

This post has been edited by bleez: Sep 7 2012, 04:45 PM


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You say 'minor pentatonic ' like it's a bad thing
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