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> New Stuff Would Like Critique :), would like your thoughts
enlo22
post May 24 2013, 09:07 AM
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hey guys I haven't posted ina while and i've been practicing a lot still. I got inspiration and made this over some days! apart from guitar stuff i've been trying to improve on the video part of it which my buddy helped me with. It would be too hear your overall thoughts on this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP2OZsfp08Y

Thanks! smile.gif


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Gabriel Leopardi
post May 24 2013, 01:58 PM
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Hi mate! Good video!! Those first sweeps sound very good! I can notice that you have been practising. Every sections sounds good and the overal tone and mix are very good. The only things that I think your song lacks is a leit motiv or main melody that makes it more catchy. Are you planing to record vocals for this one?


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enlo22
post May 24 2013, 04:55 PM
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QUOTE (Gabriel Leopardi @ May 24 2013, 12:58 PM) *
Hi mate! Good video!! Those first sweeps sound very good! I can notice that you have been practising. Every sections sounds good and the overal tone and mix are very good. The only things that I think your song lacks is a leit motiv or main melody that makes it more catchy. Are you planing to record vocals for this one?



I wish Gabriel! but I have no microphone! but it would be interesting to see what vocals would go well with this although i am terrible at vocals haha. I'm glad you think it sounds good man!


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Vulpine
post May 25 2013, 06:06 AM
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Epic Metal Tone <--- sum this up .. I like your sweeps and fast tremelo picking the solo part could be better but i think your style is metal rhythm I think anyway so = ) everything else on this track is pro imo . I think i've heard some of your tracks before. Glad to hear more

This post has been edited by Vulpine: May 25 2013, 06:12 AM
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dcz702
post May 25 2013, 07:37 AM
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i thought it was brilliant! biggrin.gif you got any stuff with vocals and a band? id like to check that out. this makes want to practice harder dont know how im gonna do that cause i practice alot but ill find a way smile.gif
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Cosmin Lupu
post May 25 2013, 09:43 AM
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Ciao Marco!

As usual, your skills are always better and better technique wise, but as Gabe said, you need to start focusing on creating structures and motifs that will slowly build up a song. Keep rocking my friend!


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enlo22
post May 25 2013, 08:03 PM
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QUOTE (dcz702 @ May 25 2013, 06:37 AM) *
i thought it was brilliant! biggrin.gif you got any stuff with vocals and a band? id like to check that out. this makes want to practice harder dont know how im gonna do that cause i practice alot but ill find a way smile.gif


Thanks a lot man, I don't have anything that has vocals on it :/
and just practice when you can lol i currently don't have a job so that gives me tons of time! not saying to quit your job ofcourse haha

QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ May 25 2013, 08:43 AM) *
Ciao Marco!

As usual, your skills are always better and better technique wise, but as Gabe said, you need to start focusing on creating structures and motifs that will slowly build up a song. Keep rocking my friend!


THanks a lot Cosmin! i always enjoy your feedback. I think i have to practice more on song structure? and as for the solo for me it's difficult to have something "memorable" with the shreddy parts you know? like if it's a melody kind of thing then yeah..


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jstcrsn
post May 25 2013, 08:16 PM
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QUOTE (Gabriel Leopardi @ May 24 2013, 01:58 PM) *
Hi mate! Good video!! The only things that I think your song lacks is a leit motiv or main melody that makes it more catchy.

if you can look back at instrumentals that are memorable , there is usually a hummable lead line that is catchy, like this

this is essential for the listener to bond with the song , if the listener can't bond with the song ( no matter how good it is)it will just sound like a bunch of notes.
The arps. at 50 seconds need to be connected better, for what my opinion is worth

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Gabriel Leopardi
post May 25 2013, 08:35 PM
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QUOTE (jstcrsn @ May 25 2013, 04:16 PM) *
if you can look back at instrumentals that are memorable , there is usually a hummable lead line that is catchy, like this

this is essential for the listener to bond with the song , if the listener can't bond with the song ( no matter how good it is)it will just sound like a bunch of notes.
The arps. at 50 seconds need to be connected better, for what my opinion is worth



Good example! Joe Satriani can create great and catchy rock songs without vocals.


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enlo22
post May 26 2013, 01:08 AM
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QUOTE (jstcrsn @ May 25 2013, 07:16 PM) *
if you can look back at instrumentals that are memorable , there is usually a hummable lead line that is catchy, like this

this is essential for the listener to bond with the song , if the listener can't bond with the song ( no matter how good it is)it will just sound like a bunch of notes.
The arps. at 50 seconds need to be connected better, for what my opinion is worth


THanks for your input man, i'll keep that in mind and thanks for sharing the video with me! good stuff


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Cosmin Lupu
post May 26 2013, 01:49 PM
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QUOTE (enlo22 @ May 25 2013, 07:03 PM) *
Thanks a lot man, I don't have anything that has vocals on it :/
and just practice when you can lol i currently don't have a job so that gives me tons of time! not saying to quit your job ofcourse haha



THanks a lot Cosmin! i always enjoy your feedback. I think i have to practice more on song structure? and as for the solo for me it's difficult to have something "memorable" with the shreddy parts you know? like if it's a melody kind of thing then yeah..


I am glad I can be of assistance smile.gif I think that Satriani is by far, the best example that someone can think of when dealing with memorable melodies. Once you start thinking of your guitar solos as vocal lines, when it comes to melody, you will be able to come up with motifs smile.gif

Think about something that someone could easily remember and sing. Anything shreddy is certainly most quickly forgotten - all you know is that someone can play very fast and accurate, but if I ask you to sing a tune written by that individual, you will discover that you can't smile.gif

Let's try this: pick a chord progression and try to build a theme which you are sure I will NOT forget and post the video here! Deal?? biggrin.gif

This post has been edited by Cosmin Lupu: May 26 2013, 01:50 PM


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Gabriel Leopardi
post May 26 2013, 06:03 PM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ May 26 2013, 09:49 AM) *
Let's try this: pick a chord progression and try to build a theme which you are sure I will NOT forget and post the video here! Deal?? biggrin.gif



This sounds like a great plan! Looking forward what Enlo will post here! smile.gif
Cosmin is right, something simple but effective is what will make your song memorable. Look at the classic songs that we all like and enjoy, and sing, and play all the time... songs by Beatles, Rolling Stones, riffs by Metallica, Led Zeppelin. However this is not as easy as it sounds, it also needs to be practiced as well as technique.


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Cosmin Lupu
post May 27 2013, 07:16 AM
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Actually it's a whole deal of skill and talent that needs your attention much more than anything else. When you write a song that you want to put on an album, you have to focus on having as many astonishing tracks as possible. Not all of them will be hits, but there are many situations in which there are a lot of good songs that are not being considered hits... Strange eh? laugh.gif


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Darius Wave
post May 27 2013, 08:31 AM
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Well done! Sounds powerfull smile.gif Two things that took my attention at the beginning are:

1. I would work a bit about on the midrange of backing guitars. They work great on the studio monitors but on the popular 2+1 pc sets they go a bit too much under the drums and the volume distance to solo guitar is a bit to big. I think It could sound ok on Your audio gear but this is only to make You consider trying how this sounds on other audio devices / speakers etc. If You did that and You're happy with Your results keep it that way - Your the one that has to be satisfied with the way it sounds smile.gif

2. Maybe it's just me but I think You overuse the fast vibrato at some moments smile.gif Every long note is "vibrated like crazy" biggrin.gif Gambale calls it "choking the chicken" biggrin.gif I'm not a big Gambale fan (respect but just not my thing) still have to say he's a bit right at this point. I know many guitar guys overuse speed and deep vibrato..I also think You can be better than this tongue.gif Try to do some experiments - try to add different vibrato speed and depth to each note - I mean the notes that sustain after the licks. This will add more colors to Your playing and make it more pleasant for some not-pure-metal guys too smile.gif


You did great workand Your skills are very nice. All best to You and keep...metalin'... biggrin.gif


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enlo22
post May 27 2013, 05:11 PM
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QUOTE (Darius Wave @ May 27 2013, 07:31 AM) *
Well done! Sounds powerfull smile.gif Two things that took my attention at the beginning are:

1. I would work a bit about on the midrange of backing guitars. They work great on the studio monitors but on the popular 2+1 pc sets they go a bit too much under the drums and the volume distance to solo guitar is a bit to big. I think It could sound ok on Your audio gear but this is only to make You consider trying how this sounds on other audio devices / speakers etc. If You did that and You're happy with Your results keep it that way - Your the one that has to be satisfied with the way it sounds smile.gif

2. Maybe it's just me but I think You overuse the fast vibrato at some moments smile.gif Every long note is "vibrated like crazy" biggrin.gif Gambale calls it "choking the chicken" biggrin.gif I'm not a big Gambale fan (respect but just not my thing) still have to say he's a bit right at this point. I know many guitar guys overuse speed and deep vibrato..I also think You can be better than this tongue.gif Try to do some experiments - try to add different vibrato speed and depth to each note - I mean the notes that sustain after the licks. This will add more colors to Your playing and make it more pleasant for some not-pure-metal guys too smile.gif


You did great workand Your skills are very nice. All best to You and keep...metalin'... biggrin.gif



Thanks for your input man! I'm not very good at mixing i'm only using my computer speakers. I'll keep in mind what you said about Vibratos hehe i just always tend to do it out of habit man! thanks for pointing it out.

QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ May 26 2013, 12:49 PM) *
I am glad I can be of assistance smile.gif I think that Satriani is by far, the best example that someone can think of when dealing with memorable melodies. Once you start thinking of your guitar solos as vocal lines, when it comes to melody, you will be able to come up with motifs smile.gif

Think about something that someone could easily remember and sing. Anything shreddy is certainly most quickly forgotten - all you know is that someone can play very fast and accurate, but if I ask you to sing a tune written by that individual, you will discover that you can't smile.gif

Let's try this: pick a chord progression and try to build a theme which you are sure I will NOT forget and post the video here! Deal?? biggrin.gif


so pick a chord progression and play on top? i'm confused about like how long it has to be etc haha like short piece with a catchy part?


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Cosmin Lupu
post May 28 2013, 08:32 AM
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QUOTE (enlo22 @ May 27 2013, 04:11 PM) *
Thanks for your input man! I'm not very good at mixing i'm only using my computer speakers. I'll keep in mind what you said about Vibratos hehe i just always tend to do it out of habit man! thanks for pointing it out.



so pick a chord progression and play on top? i'm confused about like how long it has to be etc haha like short piece with a catchy part?


Dude, it has to be short enough to be remembered smile.gif But you will find things ONLY by exploring and experimenting - try as many ideas as possible and share them. I have a saying, if you make me nod my head to your groove and after listening your song once, I will want to listen to it again - there ya have it biggrin.gif


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enlo22
post May 28 2013, 08:32 PM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ May 28 2013, 07:32 AM) *
Dude, it has to be short enough to be remembered smile.gif But you will find things ONLY by exploring and experimenting - try as many ideas as possible and share them. I have a saying, if you make me nod my head to your groove and after listening your song once, I will want to listen to it again - there ya have it biggrin.gif


very true man, time to try new things! i usually play what i'm feeling at the moment!


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Cosmin Lupu
post May 29 2013, 08:01 AM
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I am really looking forward to see what you come up with, so please post here as soon as you are happy with the result, ok? biggrin.gif


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enlo22
post Jun 5 2013, 02:47 AM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ May 25 2013, 08:43 AM) *
Ciao Marco!

As usual, your skills are always better and better technique wise, but as Gabe said, you need to start focusing on creating structures and motifs that will slowly build up a song. Keep rocking my friend!


Cosmin! this took a bit but I came up with this little melody thing, it's crap because i just started it and its only that idea lol https://soundcloud.com/enlo22/test just wanted to hear your thoughts because I tried to make something "catchy"


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jstcrsn
post Jun 5 2013, 02:56 AM
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QUOTE (enlo22 @ Jun 5 2013, 02:47 AM) *
Cosmin! this took a bit but I came up with this little melody thing, it's crap because i just started it and its only that idea lol https://soundcloud.com/enlo22/test just wanted to hear your thoughts because I tried to make something "catchy"
thats fantastic, catchy, The thing about this line is- its easily remembered, I can now bond with this song and insert my own lyrics over the melody
Well done
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