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> Feedback Request, Original Tune
Jim S.
post Dec 8 2013, 08:29 AM
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I finally got to sit down and play and it only seemed fair to write something new. Sometimes I have to write and I need to complete it in a night. I know it's probably hasty but it's nice to have something to show for your work. Anyways if you have any feedback on this id appreciate it. Thanks

https://soundcloud.com/jim-seekford-music/the-burn-of-the-sun
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Ben Higgins
post Dec 8 2013, 10:37 AM
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I love the guitar tones on this.. really tasty.

The whole section between 1:25 and 1:40 is a bit weird to me.. but after it's passed I get back into the vibe of it again. If you could fine some tighter way of transferring from one section to the other I think the track would sound better smile.gif


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Jim S.
post Dec 8 2013, 04:20 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Dec 8 2013, 05:37 AM) *
I love the guitar tones on this.. really tasty.

The whole section between 1:25 and 1:40 is a bit weird to me.. but after it's passed I get back into the vibe of it again. If you could fine some tighter way of transferring from one section to the other I think the track would sound better smile.gif


Ben thanks! Yeah I know what you mean, I'll work on my transitions. I think writing drums measure by measure might be helpful too.
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Gabriel Leopardi
post Dec 9 2013, 12:16 AM
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hi mate, very nice idea. The only thing that I would expect and I think it's lacking is a melody that works as a chorus, something more memorable. The overall tune creates a very cool atmosphere but I think it would be great if it explodes near the end.


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Jim S.
post Dec 9 2013, 01:32 AM
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QUOTE (Gabriel Leopardi @ Dec 8 2013, 07:16 PM) *
hi mate, very nice idea. The only thing that I would expect and I think it's lacking is a melody that works as a chorus, something more memorable. The overall tune creates a very cool atmosphere but I think it would be great if it explodes near the end.


You are spot on, when I hear it I feel a sinking feeling toward the end. Patience always slips away when I write. I should spend more time with my projects.

A melody would be nice maybe recurring too. I had a hard time playing lead over the chunky rhythm.

Thanks for the feedback
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Darius Wave
post Dec 9 2013, 02:56 PM
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It's a very cool idea but something is missing for me. Maybe it's the "game of reverbs" that would compensate that there is not too many tracks - sort of trio mode at some moments. This could be also some not-interfering / disturbing pad in the background mixing. Also had a feeling of timming isses. Did You draw the drums or played them manually with the keyboard?


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Jim S.
post Dec 9 2013, 03:44 PM
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QUOTE (Darius Wave @ Dec 9 2013, 09:56 AM) *
It's a very cool idea but something is missing for me. Maybe it's the "game of reverbs" that would compensate that there is not too many tracks - sort of trio mode at some moments. This could be also some not-interfering / disturbing pad in the background mixing. Also had a feeling of timming isses. Did You draw the drums or played them manually with the keyboard?

Hey Darius I wrote them in piano roll in ez drummer then copied and pasted. I get the same feelings, too much going on at times. I played bass guitar on this which was hard to mix. Next time I play ill work on this

Thanks man!
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Darius Wave
post Dec 9 2013, 03:57 PM
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Just a free observations. It's not that it's very bad Jim smile.gif Those were first things I felt by listening to it for the first time smile.gif


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gregc1
post Dec 9 2013, 04:08 PM
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I like the overall theme of the tune. I really love the very beginning with the acoustic/sitar sound playing on top of the slow, heavy riffing.


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Jim S.
post Dec 10 2013, 12:41 AM
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QUOTE (gregc1 @ Dec 9 2013, 11:08 AM) *
I like the overall theme of the tune. I really love the very beginning with the acoustic/sitar sound playing on top of the slow, heavy riffing.


Greg Thanks yeah the beginning has some nice qualities, I'm gonna keep that feel in the intro and make a melody and tighten up the rest.

See you around man
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Vulpine
post Dec 10 2013, 07:43 AM
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first couple of seconds I thought Beethovan lol

I like your tone and suddle phrase lines ur not playing too many unnesesary notes that someone like myself may sometimes do.. My advice sleep on this song ...see what you think it needs more or less of .. n sometimes you might come up with some more ideas you could add to this overall Piece *Beethovan* = )

But overall I like the Ideas you put in this track you've got a mean tone as I mentioned earlier especially the bass = ) *Wicked*

great job mate
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Jim S.
post Dec 10 2013, 02:58 PM
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QUOTE (Vulpine @ Dec 10 2013, 02:43 AM) *
first couple of seconds I thought Beethovan lol

I like your tone and suddle phrase lines ur not playing too many unnesesary notes that someone like myself may sometimes do.. My advice sleep on this song ...see what you think it needs more or less of .. n sometimes you might come up with some more ideas you could add to this overall Piece *Beethovan* = )

But overall I like the Ideas you put in this track you've got a mean tone as I mentioned earlier especially the bass = ) *Wicked*

great job mate


Hey Vulpine thanks a lot. I'm taking in a lot of advice here and going to rework it next practice session. I've had a bass guitar sitting around in my basement for years and never really touched it. Not sure why I haven't picked it up sooner, it makes writing music pretty fun.

Id write a guitar track, lay bass down and then keep recording and let the bass decide where to go.

**Beethovan** is a good name, ill have to work on the intro melody and incorporate a more baroque feel?
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Gabriel Leopardi
post Dec 10 2013, 05:09 PM
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QUOTE (Jim Seekford @ Dec 8 2013, 09:32 PM) *
You are spot on, when I hear it I feel a sinking feeling toward the end. Patience always slips away when I write. I should spend more time with my projects.

A melody would be nice maybe recurring too. I had a hard time playing lead over the chunky rhythm.

Thanks for the feedback



Cool, nice to know that my feedback helps. I hope to hear a new version of this song! smile.gif


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