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lllDUTCHlll
post Dec 14 2013, 01:52 AM
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Hey second attempt at a self guitar video. Last time I was told to work on more phrasing. This one is quite a bit longer AND the beginning is still a little "shreddy" BUT I added some melodies and such to make it more like an actual "song" Let me know!

Thanks a ton and happy holidays!!!!! smile.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9anAwxxKQc
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Bogdan Radovic
post Dec 14 2013, 02:37 AM
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Very cool video! smile.gif

First of all, I'd like to say that you playing chops are very impressive.
Very technical piece and sounds really cool to me! smile.gif

I have listened the song in full and here are my impressions and suggestions for possible improvement :

* Phrasing / flow : the elements you play individually are cool on their own but there could be a stronger connection between them. Sometimes phrases sound a bit disconnected from each other so when next lick/phrase comes up the changes is not as smooth. My suggestion would be to work more on chord tones soloing and experiment with ways to connect parts together more fluently.

My impression about the phrasing is that, although you played some really cool and unique sounding licks, is that the playing would benefit from more experiments here. Some licks/phrases sound a bit too linear or repetitive.

Practicing these phrasing elements would help :

- Expression (vibrato, bending, slides etc)
- Note values (varying note values, making pauses etc)
- Dynamics (varying how hard or soft you pick the notes)

* Solo dynamics : varying dynamics is the most powerful tool we have when composing solos. Try starting really soft and melodic and as solo progresses work your way up to top speed and the climax of the solo. Not showing all the tricks we have under our belt at once or at the very beginning of the song will also help with keeping the surprise element. This is what usually makes or breaks a good solo or a song.

* Technique : I have noticed that you didn't include a lot of bending, pre-bends and vibrato in this one. These tools as well as hammer-ons, pull-offs and slides can really help with coming up with interesting phrases.

Here are some lessons I would suggest that might be interesting and address some things mentioned :

Solo dynamics, use of whammy bar, vibrato and bending

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Whammy-Bar-Phrasing-II/
* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Jason-Becker-Style/

Speedy Phrasing

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/solo-guit...ssical-etude-1/
* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Hybrid...ing-And-Legato/

Chord tones

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Target...Friedman-Style/

Additionally to this, I think it would be interesting to try out some lesson which are completely out of your comfort (and maybe interest) zone - for example playing a slow blues lesson or jazz or country one.

Keep up the great work and looking forward to your new videos! Happy Holidays! smile.gif


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lllDUTCHlll
post Dec 14 2013, 02:48 AM
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Thanks so much man! Very in depth feedback I appreciate it a ton! And the lessons you suggested are great! I will work my ass off and keep you updated! smile.gif

QUOTE (Bogdan Radovic @ Dec 14 2013, 01:37 AM) *
Very cool video! smile.gif

First of all, I'd like to say that you playing chops are very impressive.
Very technical piece and sounds really cool to me! smile.gif

I have listened the song in full and here are my impressions and suggestions for possible improvement :

* Phrasing / flow : the elements you play individually are cool on their own but there could be a stronger connection between them. Sometimes phrases sound a bit disconnected from each other so when next lick/phrase comes up the changes is not as smooth. My suggestion would be to work more on chord tones soloing and experiment with ways to connect parts together more fluently.

My impression about the phrasing is that, although you played some really cool and unique sounding licks, is that the playing would benefit from more experiments here. Some licks/phrases sound a bit too linear or repetitive.

Practicing these phrasing elements would help :

- Expression (vibrato, bending, slides etc)
- Note values (varying note values, making pauses etc)
- Dynamics (varying how hard or soft you pick the notes)

* Solo dynamics : varying dynamics is the most powerful tool we have when composing solos. Try starting really soft and melodic and as solo progresses work your way up to top speed and the climax of the solo. Not showing all the tricks we have under our belt at once or at the very beginning of the song will also help with keeping the surprise element. This is what usually makes or breaks a good solo or a song.

* Technique : I have noticed that you didn't include a lot of bending, pre-bends and vibrato in this one. These tools as well as hammer-ons, pull-offs and slides can really help with coming up with interesting phrases.

Here are some lessons I would suggest that might be interesting and address some things mentioned :

Solo dynamics, use of whammy bar, vibrato and bending

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Whammy-Bar-Phrasing-II/
* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Jason-Becker-Style/

Speedy Phrasing

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/solo-guit...ssical-etude-1/
* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Hybrid...ing-And-Legato/

Chord tones

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Target...Friedman-Style/

Additionally to this, I think it would be interesting to try out some lesson which are completely out of your comfort (and maybe interest) zone - for example playing a slow blues lesson or jazz or country one.

Keep up the great work and looking forward to your new videos! Happy Holidays! smile.gif

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Fayeed Tan
post Dec 14 2013, 03:24 AM
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great work man!

Alright first of all I wouldn't want to be suggesting you anything I'll just say my comments according to my taste. As we all know our music is our own expression and we all have different ways of expressing through our art.

The very first thing I noticed is the amount and/or the volume of your delays. There's a lot going on in the background of your soloing. I (personally) would want to hear just your solo and very minimal amount of delays in the background. As little as you can, but not too loud.

smile.gif

Now about phrasing, I agree with Bogdan but the thing I noticed more is your dynamics. You're attacking the strings all the way from start to end. Not that it's a bad thing but it kind of makes you a flat line instead of an actual wave of sound. It is very important to know when to attack & when to keep it down.

For example these set of notes for this particular part should be played with (maybe) lesser drive/gain and lesser attack because it's a stanza. Now for this part which is the chorus I should add more drive/gain and attack even stronger.

Aside from that mate I think you're a really talented guitar player.

Your fingers are so accurate, your technique is flawless and you have very nice choice of notes. biggrin.gif

cheers!
FT


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Todd Simpson
post Dec 14 2013, 03:34 AM
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WOW!! This is one of the best deconstructions/critiques I've ever seen. Well said Mr. Bogdan!!!! I'd say the bog man is spot on. Just to add a bit,


*Try setting up a "Melody Through Line" or, in other words, a "Melodic Theme" that you can establish and then embelish as you progress through the song. The melody serves a similar purpose to a "Chorus" in a regular song.

*Dynamics. As Bogdan mentioned, adding quiet bits building to louder bits is always a good idea smile.gif Gives a sense of building towards a climax.

On a positive note, you nailed all the licks and your playing is quite good, congrats on a spiff solo!!

Todd



QUOTE (Bogdan Radovic @ Dec 13 2013, 08:37 PM) *
Very cool video! smile.gif

First of all, I'd like to say that you playing chops are very impressive.
Very technical piece and sounds really cool to me! smile.gif

I have listened the song in full and here are my impressions and suggestions for possible improvement :

* Phrasing / flow : the elements you play individually are cool on their own but there could be a stronger connection between them. Sometimes phrases sound a bit disconnected from each other so when next lick/phrase comes up the changes is not as smooth. My suggestion would be to work more on chord tones soloing and experiment with ways to connect parts together more fluently.

My impression about the phrasing is that, although you played some really cool and unique sounding licks, is that the playing would benefit from more experiments here. Some licks/phrases sound a bit too linear or repetitive.

Practicing these phrasing elements would help :

- Expression (vibrato, bending, slides etc)
- Note values (varying note values, making pauses etc)
- Dynamics (varying how hard or soft you pick the notes)

* Solo dynamics : varying dynamics is the most powerful tool we have when composing solos. Try starting really soft and melodic and as solo progresses work your way up to top speed and the climax of the solo. Not showing all the tricks we have under our belt at once or at the very beginning of the song will also help with keeping the surprise element. This is what usually makes or breaks a good solo or a song.

* Technique : I have noticed that you didn't include a lot of bending, pre-bends and vibrato in this one. These tools as well as hammer-ons, pull-offs and slides can really help with coming up with interesting phrases.

Here are some lessons I would suggest that might be interesting and address some things mentioned :

Solo dynamics, use of whammy bar, vibrato and bending

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Whammy-Bar-Phrasing-II/
* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Jason-Becker-Style/

Speedy Phrasing

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/solo-guit...ssical-etude-1/
* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Hybrid...ing-And-Legato/

Chord tones

* https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Target...Friedman-Style/

Additionally to this, I think it would be interesting to try out some lesson which are completely out of your comfort (and maybe interest) zone - for example playing a slow blues lesson or jazz or country one.

Keep up the great work and looking forward to your new videos! Happy Holidays! smile.gif



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Gabriel Leopardi
post Dec 14 2013, 03:38 AM
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Hi man! Your technique is VERY impressive. You really can shred. Your alternate picking, sweep picking, tapping and legato techniques are fantastic and once again the next thing to achieve is being more melodic. I can note that you did an effort to create more melodies, this means that your are going on the right track but I still feel that your compositions should be even more melodic to be funnier to hear and also to make the shred sections more outstanding.

I wonder about the backing, have you recorded it?

To make your songs more melodic and dramatic, the backing track is a very important part, the progressions that you use and how you choose the notes for the melody over those chords.

One thing that could really help you is to analyze a bit some songs that you like to understand how the catchy melodies and the dramatic moments are achieved.

Anther thing that helps me to be more melodic is using my voice to compose the melodies and then transpose it to my guitar.

Let me share some examples of shred guitarists that add epic melodies into their songs.






I'm being obviously very strict, you are a very good guitarist and your playing on this one is killer. Just wanted to share my honest feeling. I hope that it helps! smile.gif


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Todd Simpson
post Dec 14 2013, 04:38 AM
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Some more really fine playing smile.gif Great chops all around. On to the critique!

It's important to make the distinction between an extended solo and a "song". When constructing a song, the melody is the foundation of the entire structure. So it can't be thrown in as an after thought. It needs to be the foundation on which everything else is based.

Making the transition between writing solos, jam tracks, and "songs" is a big step. But a step worth taking smile.gif Go back and listen to some Satriani, Eric Johnson, etc. Notice how they build a song structure and then apply a solo to it, rather than simply soloing over a series of chord changes. This is something well within your ability based on what I"m hearing from your playing smile.gif

Here is a great example of "Dynamics" in a song by Eric Johnson (also watch cliffs of dover again)



and a virtual clinic in mastery of song and shred by Steve Vai




See how the solo bits take place in the context of the song?



QUOTE (lllDUTCHlll @ Dec 13 2013, 07:52 PM) *
Hey second attempt at a self guitar video. Last time I was told to work on more phrasing. This one is quite a bit longer AND the beginning is still a little "shreddy" BUT I added some melodies and such to make it more like an actual "song" Let me know!

Thanks a ton and happy holidays!!!!! smile.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9anAwxxKQc



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Taka Perry
post Dec 14 2013, 05:09 AM
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QUOTE (Todd Simpson @ Dec 14 2013, 02:38 PM) *
and a virtual clinic in mastery of song and shred by Steve Vai



Good ol' Steve Vai biggrin.gif Even though it's missing the wacky intro that the studio version has laugh.gif


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Darius Wave
post Dec 14 2013, 10:33 AM
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Went here thinking I could help...but everything needed is already there smile.gif Really nice work and good precision. I think You did many good things since last version. I'm sure You will make another.

Because many of opinions vary on personal musical preferences I will try to underline what Bogdan said (very versatile advice) - phrases connections need some work.


At some spots when You end a phrase, You make stop / break and start another from completely different place on the neck. Thjose moment feels like a broken solo. When You use fast runs make sure they lead somewhere. When You play fast ascending lick and then You end it with no puinchline, then this is what we speak about.

Anyway! Great job smile.gif


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lllDUTCHlll
post Dec 14 2013, 02:15 PM
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Thanks so much! I went through all the feedback and made a ton of notes. I just want to say how grateful I am for this site and all of your service. Helps a ton!!!!!! smile.gif
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Ben Higgins
post Dec 14 2013, 06:17 PM
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Wow there's so much great feedback here already that I don't have a lot to to add !! I love that part from 3:29-3:32 cool.gif

Regards Bogdan's feedback about experimenting with differing note values:

I created this old lesson specifically for that purpose - to show how you can vary the pacing of your phrases within a solo to set up tension and climax (that sounded ruder than it needed to)

https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Set-The-Pace/

I have to say, you did a great job of building to a climatic ending.. but that lesson may give you some other ideas too.

Another thing I hear is that your vibrato can be a little bit narrow and fast which gives it a nervous quality. Try varying the tempo of it.. try it at a slower tempo and a bit wider.

Have you ever noticed how Adrian Smith of Iron Maiden has a really slow to medium speed vibrato but it works really well even on fast songs and you always know it's him ? smile.gif


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Cosmin Lupu
post Dec 17 2013, 02:49 PM
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I think that the guys have already placed a lot of uber valuable input here and I will only add my 2 cents. Stop looking at music like it's scales and arpeggios and play what you hear in your head. Will it hook you up? It doesn't have to be complicated to be memorable wink.gif I will give you an example of how strong a composition can be - it hooks you up regardless of the instrument used to be played on:



This is normally a song that features vocals smile.gif But in this case, the guitar 'sings' and it's not like an endless flurry of notes, but a theme that you can remember and you can listen over and over... My point? Be memorable smile.gif Serve the music smile.gif Tell a story smile.gif and most of all, trust your instincts and don't let the mind tell you: 'This would never work because it's too simple'



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