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> Up The Irons Collaboration, Instructors/Students Video Collaboration
Gabriel Leopardi
post Jun 6 2014, 04:45 PM
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QUOTE (Spock @ Jun 6 2014, 06:46 AM) *
Here's my initial idea. I'll work on it over the weekend and polish it up some, maybe change a couple parts. I had a difficult time trying to come up with parts for the fast rhythm so I just doubled them in places thinking Maiden would do that.

Anyway...

[attachment=37460:Maiden_Collab.mp3]



Hi Spock! There are some killer moments on this take, and there are some others that could be great if you do some little note changes. Let's go with some precise feedback:

00:00 to 00:20: This phrase is very maiden, be sure to play it tighter, focus on rhythm. At 00:19, you get off of scale, you play C# and that's not a note from Em key. I would change those last notes by by B and C.

00:28 to 00:37: This is a tricky part to play a solo because the chords move by tones and semi tones. When you stay on 1 notes using a bend, the chord moves and doesn't fit great all the time. Try to follow a bit more the chords with the melodies, and try to avid staying too much on not chord notes, for example when you end the phrase on G, sounds weird, like a bit off.

00:37 to 00:45: This riff should sound tighter.

00:45 to end : The first bends are a bit weird, mostly the note at 00:49 which is a 4th based on the chord that it's sounding. Then the solo becomes to cool, it would be great if you can play those pedal note ideas even more adjusted with the tempo.


That's all! It could seem to be a lot, but it's not, some specific changes would make this one killer.


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Spock
post Jun 6 2014, 05:03 PM
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Thanks for the valuable feedback Gab!

I listened to it on the way to work this morning and heard many things that need to be redone. I'll go through your post point by point on the parts I keep. Quite a few of those parts I'm going to scrap and redo though - they can be more Maidenesque.
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Gabriel Leopardi
post Jun 6 2014, 05:07 PM
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QUOTE (Spock @ Jun 6 2014, 01:03 PM) *
Thanks for the valuable feedback Gab!

I listened to it on the way to work this morning and heard many things that need to be redone. I'll go through your post point by point on the parts I keep. Quite a few of those parts I'm going to scrap and redo though - they can be more Maidenesque.



Excellent! Looking forward your new take.


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Huargo
post Jun 6 2014, 11:05 PM
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QUOTE (Spock @ Jun 6 2014, 09:46 AM) *
Here's my initial idea. I'll work on it over the weekend and polish it up some, maybe change a couple parts. I had a difficult time trying to come up with parts for the fast rhythm so I just doubled them in places thinking Maiden would do that.

Anyway...

[attachment=37460:Maiden_Collab.mp3]


Hi Spock!
I really like the last part of the solo with the end riff with the open strings! dont'n dissmiss that in the new take please cool.gif

Thanks for the feedback Cosmin and Gab! smile.gif












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Spock
post Jun 7 2014, 04:08 AM
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QUOTE (huargo @ Jun 6 2014, 06:05 PM) *
Hi Spock!
I really like the last part of the solo with the end riff with the open strings! dont'n dissmiss that in the new take please cool.gif

Thanks for the feedback Cosmin and Gab! smile.gif


Thanks Huargo that's very nice of you to say. Yes, I do plan on keeping that part. I wish I could rip those solos out like you can, but I'm enjoying the attempt at coming up with something.

I've been working on it since I got home from work and I'm still not happy with what I've come up with, it's not Maiden enough, it sounds more like Alex Lifeson (after a liter of tequila) trying to come up with a Maiden solo - except I'm sober.

This post has been edited by Spock: Jun 7 2014, 04:08 AM
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Cosmin Lupu
post Jun 7 2014, 12:55 PM
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QUOTE (Spock @ Jun 7 2014, 03:08 AM) *
Thanks Huargo that's very nice of you to say. Yes, I do plan on keeping that part. I wish I could rip those solos out like you can, but I'm enjoying the attempt at coming up with something.

I've been working on it since I got home from work and I'm still not happy with what I've come up with, it's not Maiden enough, it sounds more like Alex Lifeson (after a liter of tequila) trying to come up with a Maiden solo - except I'm sober.


Haha! Mr. Spock, as the guys already pointed out, you have nice ideas in there wink.gif Use Gabi's suggestions and make them shine in a new take and post it so that we may help further smile.gif



QUOTE (huargo @ Jun 6 2014, 10:05 PM) *
Hi Spock!
I really like the last part of the solo with the end riff with the open strings! dont'n dissmiss that in the new take please cool.gif

Thanks for the feedback Cosmin and Gab! smile.gif


Always a pleasure, man!


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Gabriel Leopardi
post Jun 7 2014, 02:24 PM
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QUOTE (Spock @ Jun 7 2014, 12:08 AM) *
Thanks Huargo that's very nice of you to say. Yes, I do plan on keeping that part. I wish I could rip those solos out like you can, but I'm enjoying the attempt at coming up with something.

I've been working on it since I got home from work and I'm still not happy with what I've come up with, it's not Maiden enough, it sounds more like Alex Lifeson (after a liter of tequila) trying to come up with a Maiden solo - except I'm sober.



hahaha, the current solo, the one that I gave feedback is already sounding very maiden. If you are fixing the weird parts I think that you are on the right track!

What about borrowing some maiden licks from GMC lessons? Click HERE.


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Spock
post Jun 7 2014, 03:46 PM
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Really awesome Iron Maiden lessons!
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Todd Simpson
post Jun 7 2014, 07:16 PM
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I like it wink.gif I was just struck by the difference between the sweeps vs scales. But I'm an instructor so I'm probably being overly picky smile.gif


QUOTE (huargo @ Jun 4 2014, 12:36 AM) *
Hi Todd! thanks for your comments smile.gif
I ussually compose the solo and practice for 3 weeks to get better results... the runs are very new compare with the sweep parts thats why sounds insecure and out of time, i finish the composition minutes before the video... and of course are a little bit too much fast for me.
when i record a video or take to a collab i use to warm up for three hours to have better results but it wasn't possible this time.
I hope you like the solo and i promise a better take if my work letme play guitar this weeks

smile.gif

see you in our threat wink.gif


Very Maidenesque smile.gif I don't have much to add beyond the critique from GABE. Looking forward to round 2!

QUOTE (Spock @ Jun 6 2014, 05:46 AM) *
Here's my initial idea. I'll work on it over the weekend and polish it up some, maybe change a couple parts. I had a difficult time trying to come up with parts for the fast rhythm so I just doubled them in places thinking Maiden would do that.

Anyway...

[attachment=37460:Maiden_Collab.mp3]


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Huargo
post Jun 7 2014, 08:50 PM
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QUOTE (Todd Simpson @ Jun 7 2014, 06:16 PM) *
I like it wink.gif I was just struck by the difference between the sweeps vs scales. But I'm an instructor so I'm probably being overly picky smile.gif

Hi Todd no worries! That's what we are here, going better and better.
Thanks for your instructor point of view, makes me push myself more and more smile.gif


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Cosmin Lupu
post Jun 8 2014, 08:01 AM
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QUOTE (huargo @ Jun 7 2014, 07:50 PM) *
Hi Todd no worries! That's what we are here, going better and better.
Thanks for your instructor point of view, makes me push myself more and more smile.gif


Here's a man with a very healthy approach! High 5 bro! Glad to have ya here! biggrin.gif


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Spock
post Jun 8 2014, 11:42 PM
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I'm trying. I guess I am confused on proper technique. If the rhythm ends a pattern on an A, should the note in the solo also land on the A, or, just any note within the scale?

Attached Image




Here's my can of worms since the last can of worms...


[attachment=37506:Up_the_Irons.mp3]
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Todd Simpson
post Jun 9 2014, 05:59 AM
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For any given passage, it's a good idea to land on the "Root" note. For example if the backing is in the key of E Minor. Then it's a good idea to land on an E in any octave now and again smile.gif

QUOTE (Spock @ Jun 8 2014, 06:42 PM) *
I'm trying. I guess I am confused on proper technique. If the rhythm ends a pattern on an A, should the note in the solo also land on the A, or, just any note within the scale?

Attached Image




Here's my can of worms since the last can of worms...


[attachment=37506:Up_the_Irons.mp3]



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Cosmin Lupu
post Jun 9 2014, 07:50 AM
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As Todd says wink.gif Another possibility would be to finish on the 5th and so that someone who starts on the root will have a nice tie to your take biggrin.gif But that is for Gabi to decide when he takes care of the mix biggrin.gif


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Spock
post Jun 9 2014, 09:49 AM
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Indeed - I figure I have 20 more days to get it right. I'll work on some of those Maiden lessons to draw some more inspiration from.

My goal was to give a feel of (or my rendition of a feel of) the difference in Dave Murray and Adrian Smith playing - you know how Adrian is more melodic and Dave is more neck pickup trills and rolling hammer ons. So that's what I'm attempting.

This post has been edited by Spock: Jun 9 2014, 09:52 AM
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Gabriel Leopardi
post Jun 9 2014, 02:17 PM
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QUOTE (Spock @ Jun 8 2014, 07:42 PM) *
I'm trying. I guess I am confused on proper technique. If the rhythm ends a pattern on an A, should the note in the solo also land on the A, or, just any note within the scale?


[attachment=37506:Up_the_Irons.mp3]


Hi mate! Your solo sound a lot better! Congratulations!!

Regarding your question. It would fit great if you end the solo on A, but also it will sound good if you end it playing the 3rd or the 4th of the chord.

Some details to improve:

- 00:19, now you are playing on scale but I'm not convinced of the 4 notes that you are playing to end the pattern.

This is an idea of how I would end the part:

Attached Image

I can't explain a theory concept why this sound better, but I trust on my ears. smile.gif

- 00:49: That bend is a 4th related to the chord sounding, I would go for chord tone in this case that the bend is very long.




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VilleFIN
post Jun 9 2014, 04:56 PM
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Hey guys biggrin.gif

I thought maybe this can be used as a intro or something ?
I'm composing more in few days.

Cheers

-Ville-
Attached File(s)
Attached File  intro.mp3 ( 513.06K ) Number of downloads: 78
 


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Spock
post Jun 9 2014, 05:05 PM
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QUOTE (Gabriel Leopardi @ Jun 9 2014, 09:17 AM) *
Attached Image



Thank you for this, I was not happy with that pattern either.

QUOTE (WeePee @ Jun 9 2014, 11:56 AM) *
Hey guys biggrin.gif

I thought maybe this can be used as a intro or something ?
I'm composing more in few days.

Cheers

-Ville-



Sounds awesome WeePee - bring on more!
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Gabriel Leopardi
post Jun 9 2014, 11:31 PM
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QUOTE (WeePee @ Jun 9 2014, 12:56 PM) *
Hey guys biggrin.gif

I thought maybe this can be used as a intro or something ?
I'm composing more in few days.

Cheers

-Ville-



It sounds very cool! smile.gif


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Spock
post Jun 9 2014, 11:36 PM
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QUOTE (Gabriel Leopardi @ Jun 9 2014, 09:17 AM) *
Some details to improve:

- 00:19, now you are playing on scale but I'm not convinced of the 4 notes that you are playing to end the pattern.

This is an idea of how I would end the part:

Attached Image

I can't explain a theory concept why this sound better, but I trust on my ears. smile.gif

- 00:49: That bend is a 4th related to the chord sounding, I would go for chord tone in this case that the bend is very long.



Okay, I made both changes per your suggestions and like them better too:

At 00:19 - Right now it's impossible for me to make that jump from the last note (10 on the B-String) immediately play the 4 to 1 fret pull-offs on the bottom E. So I tried it by skipping that last note and ending that phrase with the note just before that (8 on the B-String) giving me time to switch positions. It doesn't sound bad to do that but for the sake of this collab, I'll just have this punched in so that last note ends the phrase the way it should.

At 00:49 - I wasn't exactly sure what you meant, but instead of bending the E and B as I had been doing, I jumped up to a 2 note cord - I think that is what you were suggesting. I like it and it's easier to switch to the next position and I don't have to worry about nailing that bend every time.

So here it is written. Since I've been writing it in parts I haven't played the solo as a whole yet, so I'll spend the next few days getting it down. Also, I'm sure I'll polish it up more over the next couple of weeks while practicing it for the final submission.

Feel free to offer any more suggestions and thanks again for all your input!

http://soundcloud.com/lllspocklll/up-the-irons-collab

EDIT: After listening to it again, I still feel the need to change that whole pattern around the :19 - the notes leading up to it. Maybe I just need to let it rest for a day or so and come back and listen to it - my brains kind of fried on it right now - but overall I'm happy with it.

This post has been edited by Spock: Jun 9 2014, 11:45 PM
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