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> Treat Life Like An Experiment, Another approach to decision making
Ben Higgins
post Sep 26 2014, 07:54 AM
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As a species we're very concerned with the notions of success or failure. This spills over into many things we do. Making a decision can often be delayed and delayed.. all because we're concerned we might make the wrong one. So consequently we end up doing nothing at all !

This can be related to my other thread about not caring too much.

We often put too much importance and emotion on things when we should just detach from it and let it happen as it will.

Let's pretend you're thinking about trying out a certain marketing technique for your music but you're unsure whether it will work and you'll feel foolish. What's stopping you here ? Mostly the fear that you MAY feel foolish. A fear of a potential emotion. It may be easy to look at this and think 'Pah, that doesn't apply to me' but we all have avoided, or will avoid, things in life due to the fear of how it may potentially affect us emotionally. It's very common. So, what if you change your perspective and frame the situation differently ?

Treat it like an experiment.

Experiments do not fail. Experiments set out to gather information, prove or disprove a hypothesis. What experiments do is GIVE RESULTS. And that is always valuable, regardless of the outcome.

So, applying that to our imaginary marketing decision, we may set out with an open mind, allowing the experiment to provide us with the results that we can take with us and learn from.

The results may be that:
-Loads of people responded to it well and this would be a great way to do things again.
-People didn't react much to it at all and wouldn't be worth doing again.

Now, if we were emotional about it and hoping and hoping that we would receive the 1st outcome only then we would be very disappointed right now and ignoring the useful feedback from 'the experiment'.

But if we know this is an experiment and that its goal is not to produce a particular result but to gather information, then we can feel a lot better about the process and disregard such notions as it succeeding or failing.

It did what it set out to do. That way, an experiment can never fail.

So try applying this to some of aspects of your life. I'm not suggesting you use this to make serious life choices.. it would be trivialising things just a bit... but for all the non life affecting stuff that we perhaps worry about needlessly. Try it with a few small things and see if it makes a difference.

This post has been edited by Ben Higgins: Sep 26 2014, 07:54 AM


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Cosmin Lupu
post Sep 26 2014, 05:38 PM
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I totally agree with this Ben smile.gif I myself have big issues in going emotional over things which are important to me. If they don't come out as expected, I am pretty much hurt. Wrong approach, I know, but hell, this is how I am built. I just need to work with letting go of expectations - pretty difficult one, actually, but I know that a lot of folks are struggling with this, so maybe it's a good thing to emphasize on it. Experiment, let go of expectations and when the right thing regarding a certain thing you are involved in will occur, you will know it smile.gif


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Ben Higgins
post Sep 26 2014, 06:20 PM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ Sep 26 2014, 05:38 PM) *
I just need to work with letting go of expectations - pretty difficult one, actually,


One of the hardest things for sure ! It seems counter intuitive, to let go of something we care about but if we can do that we'll endure a lot less stress in life.

I'm no means good at doing this but that's my personal journey, just the same as it is for all you guys smile.gif


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klasaine
post Sep 26 2014, 11:31 PM
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"I haven't failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" - Thomas Edison


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Spock
post Sep 27 2014, 12:01 AM
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If you're not failing, you're not trying. The most successful people are the one's that don't allow failure to cripple them emotionally. They keep plugging away and become experts and highly admirable people in their endevours. And with success, rarely do people even notice the failures.

There was one Quarterback in the NFL that threw for more yards and touchdowns than any other, he set the record and that is what he's remembered for - however, he also had the most interceptions.

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jstcrsn
post Sep 27 2014, 01:03 AM
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QUOTE (Spock @ Sep 27 2014, 12:01 AM) *
If you're not failing, you're not trying. The most successful people are the one's that don't allow failure to cripple them emotionally. They keep plugging away and become experts and highly admirable people in their endevours. And with success, rarely do people even notice the failures.

I took the easy train, 9-5 job- home on weekends. Then got laid off in construction five years ago and have tried to make a business in this so-called "growing " economy and now , I take life by the balls . I sometimes have to work 60 to 70 hour work weeks( and I don't see anyone helping me Obama)I am more of this mind set of late.

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Spock
post Sep 27 2014, 07:54 AM
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QUOTE (jstcrsn @ Sep 26 2014, 08:03 PM) *
I took the easy train, 9-5 job- home on weekends. Then got laid off in construction five years ago and have tried to make a business in this so-called "growing " economy and now , I take life by the balls . I sometimes have to work 60 to 70 hour work weeks( and I don't see anyone helping me Obama)I am more of this mind set of late.



Congratulations man! That's awesome. When 1 door closes, it's an opportunity for a new door to a brighter future to open.

About 10 years ago, I quit my job. It made NO sense whatsoever, but I had gathered a small handful of customers and opened a boutique design firm. Borrowed $5,000 from my father for a new computer and a office rent. I did it for 2 years and made the most money in my life. The hours could run late - no doubt, but eventually one of my biggest customers asked if I would consider coming on board full time with his company. Of course the pay wouldn't be as much, but it carried health insurance, 401K with company matching and a good steady salary - so I jumped on it, and have been there for 8 years now.

I got lucky too. Took that chance and ended up in a MUCH better situation.
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Cosmin Lupu
post Sep 27 2014, 07:05 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Sep 26 2014, 05:20 PM) *
One of the hardest things for sure ! It seems counter intuitive, to let go of something we care about but if we can do that we'll endure a lot less stress in life.

I'm no means good at doing this but that's my personal journey, just the same as it is for all you guys smile.gif


Well, that's true, but fighting our nature is pretty much the most difficult thing there is. I for one, can't seem to find my way around things a lot of times, but I learned to grit my teeth and go forward. I guess it usually comes with age. It's most likely about the people I love. When they choose to leave my side, I tend to have something against it smile.gif Otherwise, I don't feel too attached to objects or other things and I am pretty adjustable to situations smile.gif


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klasaine
post Sep 27 2014, 07:50 PM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ Sep 27 2014, 11:05 AM) *
fighting our nature is pretty much the most difficult thing there is. I for one, can't seem to find my way around things a lot of times,


I would say that that's 99% of the world's population. We're wired to think we can control and manipulate everything. For a lot of things it /wasis our evolutionary advantage. We're not particularly strong or fast but we can control our surroundings ... for better and worse.

I have to bang my head against a wall for a long time before either the wall breaks or my head does. I've learned some things a long the way but a Buddha nature I definitely do not have.

This post has been edited by klasaine: Sep 28 2014, 03:57 PM


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Cosmin Lupu
post Sep 28 2014, 12:03 PM
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I am trying to live by the samurai code and by the Zen teachings that come with my fencing training. It helps a big lot. It saves me from being bitter when life proves me wrong and when I am not in control and it teaches me compassion in my dealings with other people who forget about being human maybe more often than myself at times.

Growing to be strong, understanding, compassionate, yet unbiased and able to fight for what and who is REALLY worth is a big challenge, but hey, what's this life if not a challenge? smile.gif Things would get pretty boring if they would always go as we want them and we would not be able to develop ourselves.


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Saoirse O'Shea
post Sep 29 2014, 02:37 PM
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I remain a fan of the philosophies of Nietzsche and Bataille. For the former chance is transformative and helps stop the foreclosing of the world. For the latter the issue contra Kierkegaard is not that you stand in fear at the precipice and draw back but that you throw yourself in. What have you got to lose? Nothing that you had not already surrendered. What have you got to gain? Everything to become you.


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Cosmin Lupu
post Sep 29 2014, 03:31 PM
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That is beautifully said smile.gif I too have learned a valuable lesson this weekend - even though it's not guitar related, but life related. I learned to let go beautifully and without resentful feelings and drama... and how to ride a bicycle smile.gif


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Gabriel Leopardi
post Sep 29 2014, 04:22 PM
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This thread is very inspiring guys. I think that the idea that Ben shared on this thread is very interesting to be applied. I love the fact of expecting for information instead of success from the decisions and things we do. The only thing that you can get is "doing more", and the more you do, the more you grow. Doing is living.

My experience in life and professionally is that every time you risk yourself and took decisions that you feel, there is some reward that gets back. Most of the times is success, but there is always an extra things that is called "experience". If you don't gain experience in the things that you like to do, you will never be able to enjoy them completely. And "experience" is the way to describe to the archive of information that we get from our acts, or as Ben said, experiments.


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Cosmin Lupu
post Sep 30 2014, 01:14 PM
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Very well put, Gabi. Usually, decisions are based on prior experience and on listening and learning to ponder your actions. Some folks rely on the opinion of other folks entirely. But the best decision making process should be this one:

- listen to various opinions
- compare
- extract positive and negative aspects in each possible decision
- what does your gut feeling tell you? Most of us ignore this, but it's the most powerful tool we have once we learn to listen to what it's telling us and accept the ideas, even if usually they are far from what we would like them to be.
- assume a calculated risk
- make a decision and act accordingly
- adapt to the outcome
- learn from it

This is how I see it smile.gif


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Ben Higgins
post Sep 30 2014, 03:15 PM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ Sep 30 2014, 01:14 PM) *
Very well put, Gabi. Usually, decisions are based on prior experience and on listening and learning to ponder your actions. Some folks rely on the opinion of other folks entirely. But the best decision making process should be this one:

- listen to various opinions
- compare
- extract positive and negative aspects in each possible decision
- what does your gut feeling tell you? Most of us ignore this, but it's the most powerful tool we have once we learn to listen to what it's telling us and accept the ideas, even if usually they are far from what we would like them to be.
- assume a calculated risk
- make a decision and act accordingly
- adapt to the outcome
- learn from it

This is how I see it smile.gif


I think you should be our guru from now on, man ! smile.gif

Btw, I totally agree with you on the gut thing (on all of the rest too) as it does always send us hints but it can be diminished over the years if we ignore it until we no longer have any connection to it. So yeah it's always good to listen to your gut reactions.


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Fran
post Sep 30 2014, 04:27 PM
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Interesting thoughts on these threads Ben, much appreciated smile.gif


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Cosmin Lupu
post Oct 1 2014, 09:17 AM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Sep 30 2014, 02:15 PM) *
I think you should be our guru from now on, man ! smile.gif

Btw, I totally agree with you on the gut thing (on all of the rest too) as it does always send us hints but it can be diminished over the years if we ignore it until we no longer have any connection to it. So yeah it's always good to listen to your gut reactions.


Thank you Ben smile.gif Well, I am just trying to put my experiences into words here... some stuff may be true, some stuff not, I can only speak about what happened to me laugh.gif

But anyway, I see a lot of folks asking for opinion on instruments, when they should really follow their instincts and try guitars in the price range the can afford until they find something THEY like and resonate with. It's really the simplest and most efficient form of shopping, wouldn't you agree?


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Ben Higgins
post Oct 1 2014, 10:43 AM
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QUOTE (Cosmin Lupu @ Oct 1 2014, 09:17 AM) *
But anyway, I see a lot of folks asking for opinion on instruments, when they should really follow their instincts and try guitars in the price range the can afford until they find something THEY like and resonate with. It's really the simplest and most efficient form of shopping, wouldn't you agree?


Yes it's them who's got to live with it and play it smile.gif


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