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> Part Of A Group Or A Loner ?
Ben Higgins
post Oct 29 2014, 11:12 AM
Post #1

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I think human beings are mainly social creatures. Like most species (or all ?) we feel most comfortable surrounded by our own species, not utterly isolated. Even the hermits who have eked out an existence in the mountains somewhere, far from society, would feel much less comfortable if they knew they were the only human being left on Earth, I'm sure. Why ? Because I think there's a difference between preferring to be alone and being completely isolated.

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The former is where we prefer our own company and the company of nature and animals to that of our fellow humans but we could tolerate and interact with them as well. The latter would be if we literally were cut off from humankind and had no choice about it. Even the most asocial among us would surely feel anxious at some level about that. Because the option is taken away. You only have to observe cows, sheep or horses in a field to see how they get nervous at being separated from each other. Humans are not as different as we like to think except our tolerance for going it alone is far higher than most animals.

So, with all this in mind, it's no surprise to think that most people like to feel part of something. A band. A sports team. A club. An organisation. An institution. Not only is it the reality of being surrounded by others who are in the same situation as you (or share the same interests or goals) but I think it's about the fact that we now have something to represent, something to fight for and defend. Maybe in the cases of bigger groups it's the thought that they've got your back, as well. A mutual respect thing. You give to it, it gives to you.

The opposite of that of course is going it alone. Not being part of a group. It can be hard to find something that aligns with your beliefs so sometimes going it alone is the only option. Going it alone is often frustrating. Maybe sometimes you want some comrades or need some help. Being a loner is tough. The only real support you've got is yourself. But the upsides are also really good. You're not tied to anything. You can do something how you want to do it.

Maybe there's both aspects in your life. You're part of a club or group but you're also a loner in other aspects. Maybe you prefer one over the other ? I can think of one example where we're all part of a group.... a certain guitar website.... surely in the case of learning guitar it's good to be part of a group ? If you're the kind of person who prefers to be part of something or prefers to work alone then maybe you could tell us the best things about it ?

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post Oct 29 2014, 11:30 AM
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I need some kind of balance in my life.

Guitar playing, music and reading are some kind of meditation for me. So I wake up very early in the morning to practice and be all by myself.
I enjoy this time of the day, it's very quiet and peaceful. I need this.

On the other hand I am a head school teacher and I'm always surrounded by people at work. I lead a team of teachers and I enjoy it.
It helps that my colleagues are also my friends!

And above all, I could not imagine to spend time without my wife or my three chidren!

But some times in the day I need to go back to my lonely state and everyone around me is very supportive.

Balance and time management are everything to me. For a long time, I felt guilty to be a loner in relation to my social life and on the other hand I felt guilty to not allow some time to pursue my dreams (as guitar practicing is a lonely pleasure for the most part as you know it).
That's why I never progressed as I wished.

But now I'm wiser and at GMC! biggrin.gif

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post Oct 29 2014, 05:07 PM
Post #3

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I'm a married hermit biggrin.gif
A type of superhero, actually. At home, I'm all about family ~ hang out with my daughter, kick back with the Mrs (help her with her work). After the sun goes down, and everyone goes to bed, I go to my studio to practice and record. I'm in a band, but frankly, the only reason is so I can perform on stage, which I don't think I could on my own (solo artist) short of an open mic. I like to people gaze at coffee shops, etc., but I prefer solitude - never been much for the party scene, or even having friends that come over to hang out. So I am super hermit, disguised as family man.

The more I practice, the more I wish I had time to practice!
My Band Forum:

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