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Ryan
post Oct 19 2007, 11:08 AM
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This may be a far shot in the dark, but its worth a shot. Alright my Girlfriend, many of you know that me and her had tons of problems seeing each other. Well another problem has popped up.

She ran away a few weeks ago. She is now back and safe, and is in BJ's (Bob Johnson's). What could I do?? I supported her the whole time helping her. Thats why i was gone for a while GEN, but anyways. Since 2 days ago. I have not had any contact with her. Last time I saw her, was her cryign in my arms and hoping into a car. sad.gif I need to do something to help out. I dont know if i can or not. Thats why im posting this.

She had a bad home life, abuse stuff like that. Terrible stuff, that I dont even want to get into. Im not for sure if she talked or not, but Im guessing that she has. From what I have been hearing around town, is that she can have no contact with her parents as of now. Tahts coming form her mom. And some stuff is gonna happen Monday, dont know what.
But im not for sure if she did or not.
Theres been more talk, and I got a bit of proof, of that her parents are willing to sign papers, to get her emancipated. They have told many people that they will sign it. And I also logged on to her email, and got some emails from her mom, saying that this is an option for her. It doesnt directly state that they are willing to sign the papers, but tahts where the wittnesses come in.
I was wondering if maybe that she did talk. Taht maybe I coudl save people soem trouble, and go present this information to her Social Worker, if she has one, and let them know about all this. So maybe instead of going into foster care, and all taht crap with the courts, and everythign. Maybe this a possiblitly. Im not really for sure if i can even do that, or find out who her social worker is, and i cant even find out if she talked.

Can anyone help me in this situation, and tell me if this would be possible, or what if i can do anything???


P.S. I need to do something. I mean come on. WERE GETTING MARRIED. Am I going to be able to do anything? Shes turning 17 this monday by the way.


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The Uncreator
post Oct 19 2007, 11:25 AM
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Man, first off, you have my deepest sympathies.

About the emancipation, if she does in fact, get emancipated, she shouldnt have to go through foster care, she should, by my understanding of the process of emancipation, be able to live on her own technically. About her parents signing the papers, I think they actually have to sign the papers, if you show them proof that they just said they would, i dont think anything can be done. If a court finds her home life to be unsuitable for her, the judge (i think so) could emancipate her from her parents, but more often than not, they would do, like you said, foster care.

First things first, find her, talk to her, find out what she is planning, or just sit down and discuss what should be done.

I know you dont wanna get into details, but if her home life is bad enough to where she runs away, The important thing is that she gets away from that, Foster care might not seem like a good idea, but if it gets her away from the reasons that caused her to run away, then its still progress.

Just what are you two looking at in the future? do want emancipation? or do you want foster care? what solutions are you looking at to be the end result?
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fkalich
post Oct 19 2007, 11:27 AM
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QUOTE (Ryan @ Oct 19 2007, 05:08 AM) *
This may be a far shot in the dark, but its worth a shot. Alright my Girlfriend, many of you know that me and her had tons of problems seeing each other. Well another problem has popped up.

She ran away a few weeks ago. She is now back and safe, and is in BJ's (Bob Johnson's). What could I do?? I supported her the whole time helping her. Thats why i was gone for a while GEN, but anyways. Since 2 days ago. I have not had any contact with her. Last time I saw her, was her cryign in my arms and hoping into a car. sad.gif I need to do something to help out. I dont know if i can or not. Thats why im posting this.

She had a bad home life, abuse stuff like that. Terrible stuff, that I dont even want to get into. Im not for sure if she talked or not, but Im guessing that she has. From what I have been hearing around town, is that she can have no contact with her parents as of now. Tahts coming form her mom. And some stuff is gonna happen Monday, dont know what.
But im not for sure if she did or not.
Theres been more talk, and I got a bit of proof, of that her parents are willing to sign papers, to get her emancipated. They have told many people that they will sign it. And I also logged on to her email, and got some emails from her mom, saying that this is an option for her. It doesnt directly state that they are willing to sign the papers, but tahts where the wittnesses come in.
I was wondering if maybe that she did talk. Taht maybe I coudl save people soem trouble, and go present this information to her Social Worker, if she has one, and let them know about all this. So maybe instead of going into foster care, and all taht crap with the courts, and everythign. Maybe this a possiblitly. Im not really for sure if i can even do that, or find out who her social worker is, and i cant even find out if she talked.

Can anyone help me in this situation, and tell me if this would be possible, or what if i can do anything???
P.S. I need to do something. I mean come on. WERE GETTING MARRIED. Am I going to be able to do anything? Shes turning 17 this monday by the way.


Don't take this wrong. But she is a minor, and you had better he careful. Right or wrong, until she is 18 you are at risk. If you make enemies with her parents, you could end up in some hot water.

That being said, just call social services, just look up in the phone book under county offices. Have her call them. They will want to talk to her, not you. Look for one that sounds good, and if they are not the correct office, ask them to refer you to who you might talk to concerning a minor needing protection from abuse. Let me look up for Douglas county. Ok, we have "Youth Services" under the county in the phone book. See if you can find that for your county. Just talk to these people, make calls to the county, tell them the situation, and work with them.
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Ryan
post Oct 19 2007, 11:29 AM
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Im hoping for Emacipation, for reasons like. Going through foster care, and all that court stuff, taht shoudl would ahve to go through. Emacipation what you would have maybe 1 court date, of signing that papers, and stuff. Im not really for sure what I can do, but maybe I shall wait, because I cant even talk to her. Shes like on Lock Down. Not really she can leave whenever, since she has done nothign wrong, but it would be like running away again.

And we have talked about it before, and she would rather do that than anything also. So I know she woudl go for it.


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The Uncreator
post Oct 19 2007, 11:30 AM
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^Man i didnt consider that, her being a minor could cause some major problems.

Social Services though, can provide shelter for abused teens i believe, we have that stuff down here, look for something of that nature.
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Ryan
post Oct 19 2007, 11:31 AM
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QUOTE (fkalich @ Oct 19 2007, 05:27 AM) *
Don't take this wrong. But she is a minor, and you had better he careful. Right or wrong, until she is 18 you are at risk. If you make enemies with her parents, you could end up in some hot water.

That being said, just call social services, just look up in the phone book under county offices. Have her call them. They will want to talk to her, not you. Look for one that sounds good, and if they are not the correct office, ask them to refer you to who you might talk to concerning a minor needing protection from abuse. Let me look up for Douglas county. Ok, we have "Youth Services" under the county in the phone book. See if you can find that for your county. Just talk to these people, make calls to the county, tell them the situation, and work with them.

Thanks for the reply, but shes already in there hands. She had to leave me Wed. I guess it hasnt been 2 days, but it still feels like forever. And yes I know I could have gotten into a lot of crap. 10 years in jail ohmy.gif cus they would have considered it kidnapping.


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The Uncreator
post Oct 19 2007, 11:35 AM
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QUOTE (Ryan @ Oct 19 2007, 02:29 AM) *
Im hoping for Emacipation, for reasons like. Going through foster care, and all that court stuff, taht shoudl would ahve to go through. Emacipation what you would have maybe 1 court date, of signing that papers, and stuff. Im not really for sure what I can do, but maybe I shall wait, because I cant even talk to her. Shes like on Lock Down. Not really she can leave whenever, since she has done nothign wrong, but it would be like running away again.

And we have talked about it before, and she would rather do that than anything also. So I know she woudl go for it.


Well this means either

A) You prove to a court that her parents are not fit to be her parents, and emanciaption is the right choice. Although i think the go to foster care in most cases with this.
b:) Get her parents to sign papers agreeing to the terms of emancipation.

Best thing to do is research this stuff as much as you can, i think some of the terms of emancipation are that the person being emancipated can support themselves on there own.

If i remember correctly these are the basic terms of emancipation

(1) enlisting in the military [requires parent/guardian consent]
(2) marrying [requires parent/guardian consent],
(3) obtaining a court order from judge [does not require parent/guardian consent].

seems like the third choice or the second are your only options.

"EDIT"

From Wikipedia

In most countries of the world, adolescents below the legal age of majority may be emancipated somehow: through marriage, pregnancy, economic self-sufficiency, educational degree/diploma, or military service.

This post has been edited by The Uncreator: Oct 19 2007, 11:38 AM
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Spiderusalem
post Oct 19 2007, 11:39 AM
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Why is it always us good hearted musicians that always get into drama like this?

I feel you, man.

I can't add anything to what everyone else is saying. I hope things work out for the best.


P.S. Write a song


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fkalich
post Oct 19 2007, 11:39 AM
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QUOTE (The Uncreator @ Oct 19 2007, 05:35 AM) *
(1) enlisting in the military [requires parent/guardian consent]
(2) marrying [requires parent/guardian consent],
(3) obtaining a court order from judge [does not require parent/guardian consent].

seems like the third choice or the second are your only options.



You know, military, she should think about that. Really, I have seen good things come from taking that rout. My nephew flunked out of college, and noting going good for him. Enlisted, now he is an officer, college degree.

edit: Ryan needs to be sensible here. Well he does not need to be. But you put yourself in a tough situation, like getting married that young, well the statistics are against you. Big time. I know everybody thinks they are different, but that is not logical. To me, this sounds like option #1 could be best for the Girl. Really, the military can help repair the damage, a structured environment, goal directed, a place you can feel like you belong. Also you can get benefits.

This post has been edited by fkalich: Oct 19 2007, 11:44 AM
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Ryan
post Oct 19 2007, 11:41 AM
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QUOTE (The Uncreator @ Oct 19 2007, 05:35 AM) *
Well this means either

A) You prove to a court that her parents are not fit to be her parents, and emanciaption is the right choice. Although i think the go to foster care in most cases with this.
b:) Get her parents to sign papers agreeing to the terms of emancipation.

Best thing to do is research this stuff as much as you can, i think some of the terms of emancipation are that the person being emancipated can support themselves on there own.

If i remember correctly these are the basic terms of emancipation

(1) enlisting in the military [requires parent/guardian consent]
(2) marrying [requires parent/guardian consent],
(3) obtaining a court order from judge [does not require parent/guardian consent].

seems like the third choice or the second are your only options.

"EDIT"

From Wikipedia

In most countries of the world, adolescents below the legal age of majority may be emancipated somehow: through marriage, pregnancy, economic self-sufficiency, educational degree/diploma, or military service.


Yes Ive looked up many things on Emacipation. But IM not for sure if it will help her any if i go up there to talk to her social worker, and tell her this is what her parents are willing to do, and tell her that i have a bit of proof here, and witnesses of them saying they will. Will they even bother with that? Or will they just say screw it we want money, and then throw her in foster care??


QUOTE (Spiderusalem @ Oct 19 2007, 05:39 AM) *
Why is it always us good hearted musicians that always get into drama like this?

I feel you, man.

I can't add anything to what everyone else is saying. I hope things work out for the best.
P.S. Write a song

Thats a good question.


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Soul_Decision
post Oct 19 2007, 11:41 AM
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As Uncreator said, talk it over and see what you guys want to do. See if she can stay with you. Then you have to wait and see what happens on Monday. I'm sure you love your girl a lot, you will find a way to stay with her. Also this is something I know you don't want to think about, but you must prepare yourself if everything falls apart. Good luck you and your girl.


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Ryan
post Oct 19 2007, 11:43 AM
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QUOTE (fkalich @ Oct 19 2007, 05:39 AM) *
You know, military, she should think about that. Really, I have seen good things come from taking that rout. My nephew flunked out of college, and noting going good for him. Enlisted, now he is an officer, college degree.

Thanks for this suggestion, but NOT AN OPTION. I wont let her, and I know for a fact she wouldnt want to.

QUOTE (Soul_Decision @ Oct 19 2007, 05:41 AM) *
As Uncreator said, talk it over and see what you guys want to do. See if she can stay with you. Then you have to wait and see what happens on Monday. I'm sure you love your girl a lot, you will find a way to stay with her. Also this is something I know you don't want to think about, but you must prepare yourself if everything falls apart. Good luck you and your girl.

Well we will be together, You know. She eventually HAS to turn 18 tongue.gif. But as of right now. I want to make this 1 year as easy as possible, because as of right now. It looks like a hard road, and I wont be there much to help. So I need to do all I can. Maybe there is a way for to come stay with me, instead of a foster Family!!


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The Uncreator
post Oct 19 2007, 11:44 AM
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QUOTE (Ryan @ Oct 19 2007, 02:41 AM) *
Yes Ive looked up many things on Emacipation. But IM not for sure if it will help her any if i go up there to talk to her social worker, and tell her this is what her parents are willing to do, and tell her that i have a bit of proof here, and witnesses of them saying they will. Will they even bother with that? Or will they just say screw it we want money, and then throw her in foster care??


Im not to sure, If you have witnesses that will testify that her parent said they would, then maybe, or documented proof, better yet, if you could get witnesses to testify that she SHOULD be emancipated, that would help, especially if there adults/ parents themselves.

Talking to someone in Social services might help, it wouldnt do any harm, ask to speak with someone who can give you information of your situation.

Emancipations of this situation are rare, so you have to work hard. In the majority of cases, The Departments Of Child Services is notified and the child is put in foster care, This is a narrow path you tread my friend, talk to someone in Social Services, hell, find a Family Lawyer and talk to him/ her about this.

This post has been edited by The Uncreator: Oct 19 2007, 11:48 AM
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Ryan
post Oct 19 2007, 11:47 AM
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QUOTE (The Uncreator @ Oct 19 2007, 05:44 AM) *
Im not to sure, If you have witnesses that will testify that her parent said they would, then maybe, or documented proof, better yet, if you could get witnesses to testify that she SHOULD be emancipated, that would help, especially if there adults/ parents themselves.

Talking to someone in Social services might help, it wouldnt do any harm, ask to speak with someone who can give you information of your situation.

Hmm, well her family is well. Portrayed as a good family I guess you could say. And both her parents, act one way, but another way. 2 faced if you will. Many people know how much of total a-holes her parents are. Noone really likes them. They just play around like that. Just to be nice!! So maybe that could be a way biggrin.gif


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Soul_Decision
post Oct 19 2007, 11:47 AM
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That's where your paretns come in. Explain the situation to them, they might be able to help you out.


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fkalich
post Oct 19 2007, 11:48 AM
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I have had those who I felt I could hardly live without, were on my mind all the time. But I forget their names. Such is life. You are not going to fix a tough situation by making it even tougher. But I never listened myself, so there you go.

Your best rout is to think what is best for her, not yourself. That is always the best shot you have at making things work.

I'm out of here.
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The Uncreator
post Oct 19 2007, 11:50 AM
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You know, ive had friends who have gone through this, if emancipation cant be reached, ive had my friends be 'Adopted' by there friends parents.

It may seem far fetched, but your parents could be the 'foster' parents, these arrangements are met more often than emancipation.
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Ryan
post Oct 19 2007, 11:53 AM
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QUOTE (fkalich @ Oct 19 2007, 05:48 AM) *
I have had those who I felt I could hardly live without, were on my mind all the time. But I forget their names. Such is life. You are not going to fix a tough situation by making it even tougher. But I never listened myself, so there you go.

Your best rout is to think what is best for her, not yourself. That is always the best shot you have at making things work.

I'm out of here.

Thats what is best for her. To stay away from her parents. And to be with me. Even ask her. I would swear on everythign, thats where she belongs is with me. She would to. She doenst want to live with some strange family, or be with her parents. She just wants me. So the best hting i can do. Is get it so she can be with me.

Hmm theres a lot of me's up there. But Im in no way selfish, and doing it for myself. this is all for her.

QUOTE (The Uncreator @ Oct 19 2007, 05:50 AM) *
You know, ive had friends who have gone through this, if emancipation cant be reached, ive had my friends be 'Adopted' by there friends parents.

It may seem far fetched, but your parents could be the 'foster' parents, these arrangements are met more often than emancipation.

I was hoping that would come up. And if that does happen. Wouldnt that be like insest or something on our part?? I mean ti wouldnt be cus we are in no way blood related, but of being regonzied by the courts?? Would that be considered that?


eww insest NOT COOL!!!


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The Uncreator
post Oct 19 2007, 11:55 AM
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I can understand that.

Being 17 with a strange family could be upsetting to her, in these situations, the route with the best results should be the one where she is away from the parents, and in a living situation she is familiar and comfortable with. So, i believe you when you say she should be with you, if your working for whats best for, then your not being selfish, if she wants to be with you work for it, if you both have your minds set on what should be done, dont give up.
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Soul_Decision
post Oct 19 2007, 11:55 AM
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QUOTE (Ryan @ Oct 19 2007, 03:53 AM) *
Thats what is best for her. To stay away from her parents. And to be with me. Even ask her. I would swear on everythign, thats where she belongs is with me. She would to. She doenst want to live with some strange family, or be with her parents. She just wants me. So the best hting i can do. Is get it so she can be with me.

Hmm theres a lot of me's up there. But Im in no way selfish, and doing it for myself. this is all for her.
I was hoping that would come up. And if that does happen. Wouldnt that be like insest or something on our part?? I mean ti wouldnt be cus we are in no way blood related, but of being regonzied by the courts?? Would that be considered that?
eww insest NOT COOL!!!


Yes it would be incest even though you are not blood related

I'm adopted by the way.


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