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> Organised Confusion - Aftermath Of War
OrganisedConfusi...
post Dec 3 2007, 07:02 PM
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A lot more to the point lyrics. I hate war with a passion and this songs sums up my feelings of War and the Aftermath of the lives it ruins. All these songs are written by me also. I hope these lyrics don't offend. It is just the strength of anger I feel to war and war crimes.

See, the cold blank eyes of the dead
Smell the stench of the bodies decay
A Crimson landscape remains
You can still hear there screams
Of repent
Screams of suffering
of Death
Just terrified messages from beyond the grave
A crazed dictator spreads his lies
whilst the familes sorrow
cements his power
Another train to Auschwitz
or a nuclear holocaust

You can run
Hide Away
Lock your doors
Sit and Pray

But when the radio comes crackling in
conveying words we hate to hear
another civilian bloodbath
propaganda spreading fear
Hatred is reborn, in the aftermath of war

Bombs rain down
in the calm of night
Lifeless forms
Long to be reborn

Hear, the screams echoing through the night
Like a blanket of evil smothering your light
But you know it wont go away
The pain is here to stay
Taking your freedom you took for granted in the past

Why do we keep our faith in the leaders of the world
when people are dying in illegal wars
Blood on there hands yet still no apology in sight
another explosion rocks the world
yet no one accepts the blame

Are you safe
within your mind
In your thoughts
you leave behind

But when the radio comes crackling in
conveying words we hate to hear
another civilian bloodbath
propaganda spreading fear
Hatred is reborn, in the aftermath of war

Let them burn in hell
For the chaos they create
Let the evil in the world
Be tortured by our hate

Here is the song thread
https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/guitar_fo...?showtopic=9151

© Paul Butcher 2007

This post has been edited by OrganisedConfusion: Dec 5 2007, 12:33 AM


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Owen
post Dec 3 2007, 07:39 PM
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I like this one better than the last, I feel it flowed smoothly, it was easier to mull over, nicer structure.

Again, love the chorus, the crackling of the radio is a nice line, theres something symbolic about radios in relation with war, don't know if you've read The Horses by the poet Edwin Muir, but theres a similar type of subject matter in the first stanza that I feel is similar here.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-horses/

Only bit I'm not sure of is this verse:

QUOTE
Hear, the screams echoing through the night
Like a blanket of evil smothering your light
But you know it wont go away
The pain is here to stay
Taking your freedom you took for granted in the past


It feels a bit forced as you'd never introduced a strong rhyme scheme before this so the AABBC structure strikes as an oddity, not sure if you were running out of ideas here because it trails on slightly as if you were filling space and looking for ideas?

That was my only qualm anyway, on the whole I thought it was excellent and I'm very interested in the subject matter so it relates well for me.

The actual song itself is very good, I love the change in style from your vocalist and the guitar work is also pretty awesome.

smile.gif


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OrganisedConfusi...
post Dec 3 2007, 07:47 PM
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I was pretty much forced at gunpoint to stick that bit in lol. My band was like why do you never rhyme stuff so I did that for a laugh and they liked it and it kind of stuck lol. I think it works in the section of the song it's in actually as it isn't a verse. It is an interlude section in the middle of the song. I'm glad you like the guitaring also as I think I suck tongue.gif There is still some hope for me yet biggrin.gif

I'm gonna check out that poem also as it sounds like it'll interest me. And yeah. People found everything out by radio back in the world wars.

This post has been edited by OrganisedConfusion: Dec 3 2007, 07:49 PM


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Owen
post Dec 3 2007, 07:56 PM
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Heh, If I rhyme (which I hardly ever do), I feel its a bonus, I used to do it just as way of habit but I quickly discovered that the sort of AABB rhyme scheme is predominantly used in nursery rhymes and that it probably wasnt the best idea for a death metal band.

If its not pop music I dont feel there has to be anything definitive there, especially if the vocals are mostly screamed.

ABAB would probably make for a more sensible scheme for inserting some form of rhyme but it can easily break the flow of the passage and place great emphasis on a certain section.

Shakespeare used to go through whole stanza's without rhyming at all then rhyme the last two lines to draw emphasis.

Opeth do this in Blackwater Park right at the end:

QUOTE
Sick liaisons raised this monumental mark
The sun sets forever over Blackwater park


Thats why many feel that line as so perfect, because it encompasses the song and it stands out entirely because of it's structure.

/Ramblings laugh.gif


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The Uncreator
post Dec 4 2007, 11:59 PM
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Pretty good, and it gives off a unique atmosphere.

On the subject of rhyming, i find it hard to do intentionally, i just write and if it rhymes, i got lucky i guess smile.gif
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