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> The Daugher Of The Universe - Chapter 1, The Conflagration
The Uncreator
post Dec 4 2007, 11:14 PM
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Was sitting around today (like 30 minutes ago) and i got a sudden idea for a cool story, so i started writing lyrics like a madman, and this is what i came up with.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Daughter Of The Universe

Chapter 1: The Conflagration

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

(Clean)
A desolate and bleak world
Lives destroyed, Dead and torn
Scattered out through the universe
Burn the fires of war

Blood rains from the sky
A family loses
A Son
A Father
A Mother
A Daughter
And none of us, None of us seemed to care

Just push on
Without a cause
With this senseless, Useless war
If this fight goes on
We all will die
By our own hands

(Growls)
Burning homes, and dying worlds
The only product of this war
Political Misinterpretation
Leads to killing on a massive scale

Just kill, kill, kill !
Leave nothing alive
And we will be victorious

Can you not see the only outcome ?
Foresee the Consequences ?
I will not stand idly by
And let these actions determine our fate

(Chorus, Clean)
The galaxy splits in two
Friends and brothers, Now enemies
The Alliance and The High Nation
Let there war forever be waged

The answer hidden in ancient texts
Words of unknown origin
The text of our creator
The words of our savior

(Growls)
Vast explosions
Planets split in half
Space is illuminated
By the inferno of war

Anti-Terrestrial guns
Load and take your aim
Fire upon the innocent
Turning night into day

(Chorus, Clean+Growls)
The galaxy splits into two
Friends and brothers, Now enemies
The Alliance and The High Nation
Let there war forever be waged

The answer hidden in ancient texts
Words of unknown origin
The text of our creator
The words of our savior

Leave our home behind
Massive guns shear its fragile shell
Watch the explosion, Engulf your view
Supernova shells collapse the world


© Brett Windnagle 2008

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Yeah, i was in a bit of a sci-fi mood when i wrote this smile.gif

This post has been edited by The Uncreator: May 2 2008, 02:38 AM
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Owen
post Dec 4 2007, 11:24 PM
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tongue.gif I got half-way down to the sci-fi point and was beginning to think "this is a bit sci-fi" then you took my words out of my fast reply biggrin.gif

Good structure - reads well, good use of metaphors too, liked the comparison of the Earth to a fragile shell in the section about the shearing with a gun, good sense of intergalactic perspective wink.gif

I feel there was a great contrast between the first half and the section after the area marked for the solo, almost as if you had been working on the small scale losses before but suddenly the problem had become huge, you'd need one epic solo to build up for that smile.gif

I'd like to see more about what the Scroll contains but as this is obviously the first part of a series of pieces I shall have to wait.

Good work! smile.gif


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The Uncreator
post Dec 4 2007, 11:51 PM
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Well here is the story i wish to condense into maybe 3 or 4 songs.

_ _ _ _ _

The year is 2538, Earth has long become a spacefaring nation. We interact with all sorts of different species and have colonized many different worlds.
But, one day an earth colony is found utterly destroyed. Everyone is dead. Earth's representatives claim that an Asurian (random name i have for a different species) warship was detected in the area.

The debate goes on and one, all nations end up on either The Alliance's side (Earth) or the Asurian side, and it gets to the point where nations allied to the Alliance declare war on the nations Allied with the Asurians.

Story picks up with basically the view of the war through a human military commander, who quickly realized this war is going to hell, and something else was behind the attack on the earth colony. He takes a team consisting of 2 people of each species to find an answer.

Now the scrolls....

The scrolls of the sun were ancient writings found in the year 2234, on a deserted planet. It spoke of the first born species as the savior of the universe, for when "The Calamity" will come. This first born is referred to as the "Daughter Of The Universe". who lives in the deepest reaches of space, amongst the brightest burning sun, and a forest of burning stars.

This "Commander" is convinced that the destruction of the earth colony is a sign of this "Calamity" and sets out to find the Daughter and some answers

© Brett Windnagle

_ _ _ _

Atleast thats what ive come up with so far. smile.gif
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Owen
post Dec 4 2007, 11:53 PM
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Sounds complex, ever thought of doing something like that as a concept album?

Would be pretty interesting smile.gif


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The Uncreator
post Dec 4 2007, 11:54 PM
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If i keep on going on like this, i might need an entire album for it.
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Xranthoius
post Dec 4 2007, 11:58 PM
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Sounds awesome! I never thought of making a storyline to an album or set of songs!!


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The Uncreator
post Dec 5 2007, 12:00 AM
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Thats how i usually think, i like that kinda stuff.
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Owen
post Dec 5 2007, 12:10 AM
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QUOTE (Xranthoius @ Dec 4 2007, 02:58 PM) *
Sounds awesome! I never thought of making a storyline to an album or set of songs!!


Surprised at this actually! There are many bands that make use of the concept of having a concept album (bit of a tongue twizzler there tongue.gif) some good examples of artists I feel write good concept albums are Pink Floyd (Animals is my favourite, although many will mention Dark Side Of The Moon), Mastodon (Fantasy concept - Blood Mountain is pretty wacky) and of course Opeth (Blackwater Park and the fixation with leprosy throughout that album - a symbol of the decline of mankind perhaps?).

Even if you dont like some of these bands its always worth checking out the lyrics to see if you like whats going on in that department! smile.gif


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Rated Htr
post Dec 5 2007, 05:44 PM
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Like the way you have structured it all in a story, I also like that fact that it's very simple to read and yet very sofisticated, also you've done it adequate for a music so, Hi-Five =D


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Smikey2006
post Dec 5 2007, 07:47 PM
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i like it. Reminds me alot of Wykdtron tho smile.gif .. i think the uncreator knows what im talking about when i say Wykdtron.. not alot of others will.. Keep going with it, then write some crazy metal riffage overtop.


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The Uncreator
post Dec 5 2007, 08:15 PM
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Hey!!! Its The Wykydtron!! Its The Wykydtron!!

Hey!!! Its the Wykydtron!! WHOA-OH!!

Yeah i know what you mean rolleyes.gif
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The Uncreator
post Jan 22 2008, 03:58 AM
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Well the song has been updated with some changes, and the story is a bit bigger now. Here is what ive planned lyrically if anyone cares to read this.

Chapter 1: The Conflagration


Commander Williams, leader of the Alliance 108th Warship fleet, Continues the war hesitantly. In the months that followed the declaration of war, he has never felt so lost. He sees entire homes burned everyday. Planets literally split in half with the Alliance’s new favorite weapon, Anti-Terrestrial Guns. He knows this war is not just, and he knows there was more to the attack on the Earth colony. Still he fights, battle after battle. He sleeps less in less for everything he’s seen. Not many have seen the sight of an entire planet collapse, or an entire planet on fire. Not many have heard screams of innocent civilians months after they have died. And finally he can no longer take it, he must find out what truly happened to the Earth colony. After months of investigating, he thinks he has found the true cause.

He searched through the Alliance’s files, finding nothing more than biased reports. Until he discovers a report by a Saeashun, which attributes the cause to a prophecy. The prophecy of the Sun Scrolls, the mere thought seemed absurd. The scrolls were widely known of, but never accepted as true, people who believed in them were seen almost as heretics in society. But when the accusation came from a devout non-believer, Williams forced himself to take a second look. Williams visits the doctor who is stationed on a far away planet, Upon talking with him, The doctor agrees to assist Williams on his journey. For it will not be an easy one.

Before they leave the planet, its attacked by the High Nation. Williams spots an AT (Anti-Terrestrial) Ship hovering the planet, knowing what is soon to come, he gets the doctor aboard his ship. They escape just in time to see the AT Fire its Supernova shell, splitting the planet in half, leaving nothing but burnt life and millions of dead behind. Williams knew that not only would the High Nation be after him, but so to would The Alliance, for taking off without permission, stealing a crew, and pursuing a mission not assigned to him.


Chapter 2: Amidst Burning Stars

In the deepest reaches of space, not in a galaxy, but seemingly in the middle of space, lie a cluster of planets. These planets were once thriving with the life of the Sun-Born. But no longer. An unknown evil attacked them, Evil like never before. The daughter is overcome by this evil, and when the armada of evil conquers a nearby planet filled with the sun-born, they burn out here sun, leaving her in a weakened coma like state. With her influence gone, the races and species of the universe cannot be properly guided. She can only hope they will find her and reignite the sun with her blood, and theirs. For centuries she waits for he children. In all the time she waits, the guilt builds up on her, was it her fault? She thought so...And she seemed to let this bear down on her shoulders as she lied in her coma like state of sleep.


Chapter 3: City Of The Sun

Idea: Williams, with his ships crew, and doctor Shepard aboard. Begin there search by seeking out people of every species who can help them with there search, and give them information. They encounter an Arian who gives them locations to a distant star cluster, which he claims contains ruins of an ancient and highly advanced race. But the High Nation has barricaded it off, and the must fight there way in, or find a way around.

There is no choice, battle ensues. But when Williams gets through there defenses, he discovers no mere ruins, but an entire city. The sight of such structures that tower thousands of feet into the air is awe inspiring. They quickly hide in the nearby jungle, and slowly walk into the city, heading to a church or temple, if they can find one, and where they hope to find clues. They discover clues to the Daughter, and realize that this is a Sun-Born city, The paintings are mostly worn off, but if this city survived, surely there must be more.


Chapter 4: Into The Fray (The Death Of A Planet)

Idea: Upon leaving the ruined and desolate city, with little answers, but many clues. Williams and Shepard contemplate there next move. While hiding in the shadow of a planet’s moon, The planet itself is suddenly sent aflame. Williams crew knew full well what was about to ensue. At this point The Alliance wanted to capture Williams, and probably arrest him, so they were looking for him, and as they were, the Nigh Nation assailed The Alliance. Caught between to giants waging war. They are forced to land on the burning planet, luckily, some of the fires have died out, and the High Nations soldiers, or most of them, have left for the war in space. When they land though, the remaining forces of the Nation attack them in full force. Williams, no stranger to battle, takes in his special ops team in full force. A Close quarters battles that takes hours to resolves takes place. After Williams and his crew wipe out the Nations incursion team, they discover a lone survivor, a teenage girl barely alive, on the edge of death and insanity, thy hurry her aboard the ship, seeing more reinforcements arriving, the girl doesn’t speak, show emotion, or any signs of life. As the ship leaves the planet, they catch the sight of an AT gun destroying that planet. The girl confines herself from everyone, The crew attempts to help her, Who they discover is the daughter of a Weapons smith back on the destroyed planet, and her name is Dahlia, but she remains alone, in isolation. Williams lets her rest for awhile before talking to her.

Chapter 5: I Prefer It When It Rains

Dahlia remains isolated from the crew, brooding in her depression. She saw her entire family die, her home, everything. When Williams and his ship lands on planet giving off signals of distress, she walks out side. It’s a jungle planet, maybe she can rest here, away from the commotion of the ship. While sitting against a tree, she looks to the night sky, she sees her family faces, her mother, sister, father, and brother...She finally cant hold It in any longer, and cries.


Chapter 6: Demon Of The Woods


Williams, Dr. Shepard, and a search party set off onto the jungle world following the signal. As they wade through the thick foliage, they come across a ruined camp. At first they suspect The Alliance or The High Nation sent in a raiding party, but the bodies they are not inflicted with bullet wounds, but cuts and claw marks...Blood trails lead off in all directions, And the signal seems to be further north, so north they go. After crossing a massive valley and coming out the other side of the forest, there is a massive field of grass, hundreds of miles long, and at its center, Two towers that jump into the sky thousands of feet. At the base of the towers, Gunfire and muzzle flashes can bee seen, the team heads off in a rush.

They arrive to see an independent archaeological survey team in complete terror. Some of them wounded, some dead. The head of the group speaks of a massive beast that was guarding the towers. Williams aggress to help them leave the planet, After they inspect the towers, which bare too much a resemblance to the structures of the previous Sun-Born city. They discover a still in tact Computer with a map of cities and landmarks of the sun born in this system, and the entire galaxy and beyond. Knowing that nothing else can be found, the set off back to the ship, Through the jungle, just as night falls....And where the beast waits....


Chapter 7: The Scourge Of The Universe
Part 1: The Malevolent Ones

Chapter 8: The Scourge Of The Universe

Part 2: The Darkness Of Space

Chapter 9: The Scourge Of The Universe
Part 3: The Truth Of Life

Last 3 I have planned, but haven't written it out yet. and there is still another 6 or 7 songs i have scribbled on paper, i just cant stop this thing laugh.gif

This post has been edited by The Uncreator: Jan 22 2008, 04:05 AM
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Stevie-Ray-Vaugh...
post Jan 22 2008, 04:03 AM
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One word man ... Epic. This would seriously be a good book! You should think about turning it into a full blown book instead of just an outline. Either way, awesome job! biggrin.gif biggrin.gif


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But still I want answers, what's the point, what does all this mean?
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The Uncreator
post Jan 22 2008, 04:07 AM
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I have thought about this as well. Im no writer by any means, but i think i might do it someday, and by someday i mean like...A week or from now laugh.gif
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Andrew Cockburn
post Jan 22 2008, 01:56 PM
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Please do write it!


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Stevie-Ray-Vaugh...
post Jan 22 2008, 10:32 PM
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Yes!! Please Do! biggrin.gif


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But still I want answers, what's the point, what does all this mean?
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