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> The Story Of Anna - Part 5 - The Ship In The Storm
The Uncreator
post Dec 5 2007, 12:11 AM
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Bit on the fence with these, like most of it, but i feel it need more work.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The Story Of Anna
Part 5 - The Ship In The Storm
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Bestowed, upon me
The heritage of the Kyoto Sohei
Century's Of Honor
Flows through my eager veins
And no one, Can deter me
For vengeance, Shall be mine

The hardships, Of the islands
Has hardened my heart
And strengthened my soul

The end seems so close
And victory so near
Towards the eye of the storm
The ship, Is steered

(Chorus)
The battles, are drawing closer
And the storm's waves, Beat on the shore
My heart races, In anticipation
For the ship has entered the storm

A worthy foe indeed
Perhaps even stronger than I
But i cannot, let doubt defeat me
A struggle to win tonight

Blades clash, And blood flows
Two enemies, Fight eye to eye
Determined to fight
And willing to die
My adversary and I

SOLO
BASS SOLO

(Chorus 2)
The battle, is finnaly here
And the storm's waves, Tear at the shore
My soul cries, for victory
But my body gives me defeat

But in total shame, of what he's done
In the past, And present nights
Even in victory, My enemy
Cannot kill
With so much shame, unable to take his own life

The storm has won the battle
But the ship takes the war


© Brett Windnagle 2007

_ _ _ _ _


Its the fifth part in a five part series (first four are as of now, instrumental GP Tabs and ideas) about the comic book "Shi". Written by William Tucci, and the main character is named Anna Ishikawa, and throughout this story her goal is to seek revenge on a man who murdered her father and brother, under the guise of the killer "Shi" (japaneese translation, "Shi" means Death). The title, "The Ship In The Storm", is a reference to Anna as "The Ship", and her adversary, Arashiyama, as the storm (Arashi, his name, literally means "Storm")

*EDIT*

In the beginning, the "Kyoto Sohei" are her ancestors, of which she is the last.

This post has been edited by The Uncreator: Dec 5 2007, 12:16 AM
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Owen
post Dec 5 2007, 12:30 AM
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QUOTE (The Uncreator @ Dec 4 2007, 03:11 PM) *
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The Story Of Anna
Part 5 - The Ship In The Storm
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Bestowed, upon me
The heritage of the Kyoto Sohei
Century's Of Honor
Flows through my eager veins
And no one, Can deter me
For vengeance, Shall be mine

The hardships, Of the islands
Has hardened my heart
And strengthened my soul

The end seems so close
And victory so near
Towards the eye of the storm
The ship, Is steered

(Chorus)
The battles, are drawing closer
And the storm's waves, Beat on the shore
My heart races, In anticipation
For the ship has entered the storm

A worthy foe indeed
Perhaps even stronger than I
But i cannot, let doubt defeat me
A struggle to win tonight

Blades clash, And blood flows
Two enemies, Fight eye to eye
Determined to fight
And willing to die
My adversary and I

SOLO
BASS SOLO

(Chorus 2)
The battle, is finnaly here
And the storm's waves, Tear at the shore
My soul cries, for victory
But my body gives me defeat

But in total shame, of what he's done
In the past, And present nights
Even in victory, My enemy
Cannot kill
With so much shame, unable to take his own life

The storm has won the battle
But the ship takes the war


© Brett Windnagle 2007

_ _ _ _ _


Overall, the concept reminds me very much of Kill Bill, the sort of revenge by samurai aspect.

QUOTE
Has hardened my heart
And strengthened my soul


Like the use of alliteration on these two lines, makes them stand out from the rest.

QUOTE
The storm has won the battle
But the ship takes the war


Also feel this line is good, nice to end on, good contrast.

Indeed not as good as your others though, I'd probably say (although this is my opinion) that its easier to write your own material straight out than to base ideas off the work of others as it makes it that little bit harder, good job though, I like all the references to ships and storms etc, how you've taken it to another level of depth (pun unintentional tongue.gif ).


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The Uncreator
post Dec 5 2007, 12:37 AM
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Yeah i dont like it as much as my other two, all 5 parts were originally just instrumental, a few minutes long, for some reason, i gave the fifth one lyrics.
I much prefer to instrumental aspects of the story i came up with.

For some reason, even though its less than a minute i think, i like this alot, its how im writing most of this story.

This post has been edited by The Uncreator: Dec 5 2007, 12:39 AM
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