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> Need Opinions And Suggestions, Especially from parents
post Dec 19 2007, 03:27 PM
Post #21

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Hi Pavel,

Im 31 years old(32 next week), when I was your age I didn't know what to do in live, I loved sports , I loved guitar(of course I wasn't as good as you are) but at that moment I didn't had the balls to make the decision to became a profesional footbal player or a wonderful musician so I decided to go for my carreer , electronic engineering. In my 4th year of carreer I was a mess, I hated electornics and I didn't know what to do, my mom is a math teacher so imagine what she was thinking, of course she wasn't supporting me on leaving the uni. So I had only 1 year left to finish the uni, but I decided to quit I wasn't happy doing what I was doing. So I find a job and 3 years later after that job I found another job at as a coffee trader. 4 years later I decided to quit that job and to create my own company with no money on my pocket and 1 year later here I am , doing something that I really love, working a lot and living the live I really want, now my mom is happy too , it take me a couple of years but now she understands what I did. So what I tell to people that is confused is to persue their dreams, life is too short to be doing something that you don't love. So there is the answer , do what you love, do it with passion and you will succeed, I don't know if is your IT carrer or your music carreer, you are the only one that knows that. The important thing is to do what you love, and you will be happy and your mom will be too.


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post Dec 19 2007, 05:11 PM
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For what it's worth; I think you should stay in school to get the education you need to make it in the IT field. It doesn't mean you have to give up guitar for forever though; it just means that in the short term, you need to place your focus on school. You can still be an accomplished musician with a full time job.

From your post, I think what is stressing you is your mom. As an adult she has more life experience and is trying to do her best to guide you to a sucessful life. I had a some what similar situation when I was 18 - had graduated high school and had a lot of pressure from my father. I decided to move out and strike out on my own. I didn't go to college, but I made it in the IT field the hardway. If I had went to school I'd probably be driving a 911 as apposed to a STI. So coming from someone who didn't go to school and wish he had, I recommend that you stick with school and you'll be in a better situation in the long run because you'll have the backup of an education to fall back on if your music doesn't pay the bills.
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Saoirse O'Shea
post Dec 19 2007, 07:00 PM
Post #23

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I have an on-going conversation with my wife as to what we would like and what we would accept for and from our little girl when she's around about your age Pavel.

Neither me nor my wife are overly materialistic and don't place too much value on possessions, a high wage, career etc. I packed in a relatively well paid career many years ago as I didn't enjoy the job. We prefer to place our emphasis on happiness, with the caveat being that in our modern society you need a minimum income to achieve this. We've spent a fair bit of time working out what our break even point is and how we can match it with work that we want to do. It has however meant giving up a lot of things that we used to take for granted. We also had to work out various contingency plans as there is a breakpoint which we will not go below.

I dare say that only you can know what level of income might make you happy. I would say that lack of money, particularly if you're materialistic, can make a person unhappy. Lots of money however won't necessarily make you happy. We have lots of friends and family who have high incomes who are not happy.
There are also lots of ways to find personal fulfillment - and they're not all about career and income.

At the moment our daughter says she wants to be an artist and that's fine by us if it makes her happy (last month she wanted to be a vet and that was fine too). But we would also require that she studies so that she has enough income to be safe - that is that she has food, medical care, accommodation etc. So as a parent, as an absolute minimum, I would want her to be able to convince me that she would be happy and safe.

(Our ideal is somewhat higher then this of course and the closer to the ideal she gets the more comfortable I am. Our ideal is that she attends and graduates at Masters or PhD level from a major international University and then travels and sees some of the world before settling in to a career choice and family life. I might say that I tend to believe that a Masters is nowadays required as an entry qualification if you don't have considerable work experience. Most of Western Europe has undergraduate completion rates for youths in the 40-60% range, so a Masters helps you 'stand out from the crowd'. )

As part of this I'd want some reassurance that whatever she decided to do wasn't going to be a short term thing that lasts for a few months/years before being usurped by something else. Here I would also want her to convince me that whatever she chose would not reduce her options of other things in the future unreasonably. Now here I would say that completing your course does not stop you becoming a musician later on BUT not completing and dropping out now could limit your options to do many other things later on.

I'm sure you've had lots of conversations with your mum about this but generally. Now as much as all parents want the world for their children parents are usually pragmatic enough to realise that isn't possible. What may help here is to consider what she would see as her minimum and her ideal standard for you, compare it with yours and then see if you can reach a compromise?

Best of luck.


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post Dec 19 2007, 07:22 PM
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I'm only in my junior year of highschool, but I'm already planning ahead. I've decided that I wan't to be a professional guitarist, and that I won't be truely happy with anything else. But I also know that I do have to have something to fall back on, so I am planning probably on going to college. I don't like, but thats just the way things are. I'd also probably recommend finishing your degree. After you have a steady job, pursue your dream of being a professional guitarist. It can be done! But whatever you chose, I wish you well! smile.gif


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post Dec 19 2007, 07:57 PM
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QUOTE (Pavel @ Dec 19 2007, 05:11 AM) *
Hey my dear shredders!

There is the thing that keeps interfering with my life-plan which i need help with, so here is the short story:

You all know i study at university, 3rd year of Informatics. I love informatics and computers and all that goes with them but i hate my teachers for loads of reasons and one of them is being unprofessional. I have 2 exams left from my 2nd year so now after New Year i am getting into a period of time when i have to finish off all my exams, around 6-7 of them and after that goes the diploma and 2 more years to get a higher degree (just to mention -> the exams are not easy at all and require loads of homework to be done besides just studying).

Second part of my life is guitar, playing, practicing, music, GMC and everything related to it. I don't need to tell you about my passion for guitar and music - you all know it from my lessons.

Here comes the hard part: my mom wants me to finish off the university and start working a full-time job so i and she don't have to worry about my income, money and my overall life. I agree with her about "not worrying" but i don't agree about the office job from 8 to 16 each day.

Now here are the thoughts: maybe i should really quit this whole dream of becoming big guitar player and leave the guitar as my hobby and maybe in the future release a hobby CD, and pursue the IT career? Because these wars with my mom will never end and i am sick of trying to prove her wrong. My dad supports me in my guitar goals but he doesn't live with us and my parents are almost divorced.

So i would like to hear some opinions from those who are parents and have their own kids, that would help.

If you ask me - i don't know - i doubt about everything right now. Maybe it would be correct to let guitar go for a while, finish off the university, start working and let it flow like that?

Please approach this as a "parents to kids" point of view and not like "student -> instructor" point of view.
Thanks a bunch!

P.S. I respect and love my mom enough to quit playing and let her live in peace and happiness.

Being the parent of three kids aged 20,12(boys) & 11(girl) I have to say that I agree with your mom to an extent, finish off college, get your degree then if you still want to persue the guitar hero part of your life, do it. If you don't make it then you always have your degree to fall back on to provide for you and your family(eventually). If you were to quit college now and then not make it as a guitar god what would you do with your life? Believe me. it would be a lot harder than if you have that college degree. Besides you can still keep playing and practicing and giving lessons here until you graduate then rev up your practing to a full load (whatever that would be for you to try and make it as a musician) and go for it then. Having the degree in your hand would more than likely give your more confidence as you would have nothing to worry about because it would not be so life or death as you would have the career in IT to fall back on if it didn't work out for you in the music field. having that degree also shows people (potential people who may want to sign you to a recording deal) that you have it in you to complete something that is very difficult in life.

I wanted to be a pro baseball pitcher, i gave up a lot to try and be one, when I hurt my shoulder and couldn't do it any more I was screwed for life and have struggled to make it ever since. please don't put yourself in that situation as your parents would never stop worrying about how you are going to make ends meet. That and you deserve to treat yourself better.

Stay in school for now, then go for it, you are young and have a full life ahead of you.

You wish.
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post Dec 19 2007, 08:24 PM
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Thanks guys! smile.gif

One important thing i forgot to mention is that i am not planning on quitting my university, just delaying the exams for 1 year. Before this i really wanted to quit the uni but after long fights with my mom i agreed to finish it off. We also agreed that i will not finish it this summer as i have a lot of stuff going on with guitar which is way more important to me personally than university. now - she wants me to give all the exams and get a degree THIS SUMMER which is ridiculous and almost impossible considering i still want to practice guitar and work at GMC.

It may be easy to say: "Well, don't do lessons at GMC for now!" but it's the only source of income i have and i never ask my parents for money because i earn it here. My mom would never buy me a 2000$ guitar because she doesn't earn that much and i never asked her to do it - now i can do it myself but now it's AGAIN not good enough for her sad.gif

I am not saying that she is hungry for money because she is not -> she just spent 1500$ on my first car even if i told her i will pay it myself but she still gave me her money. In the end - when i sum everything up - i just don't understand what she wants. oh, and - we had MILLIONS of conversations sad.gif

I told her i will finish my education and even start working if i get a good opportunity but her plans for me change every week - it's getting SO irritating and impossible to coupe with sad.gif

Thanks for your posts! smile.gif

This post has been edited by Pavel: Dec 19 2007, 08:26 PM

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post Dec 19 2007, 08:54 PM
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It sounds like you've come to a good choice, Pavel. Even though, I'd still like to add a piece of advice from me, both younger and less wise than you. laugh.gif Basically, what I like to think when it comes to these important choices, is not what's best for me, etc, but I'll try to make the choice that I won't regret in the future. And, if I were in your shoes, I'd finish of Uni (with a masters degree) and then put 100% into trying to make it with a musical carrer.

Anyways, as you seem to already have decided, I just have to say that I think you made the right decision, and also, I have no doubt that you will make it with the music if you try hard after finishing off the university. I'm looking forward to the day I can say "hey, I knew about that guy a long time before he got famous, he tought me all I know about the guitar!" when I see something about you being famous and awesome in a few years. biggrin.gif

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