Hey there!
I agree with Gab that your takes sounds a little more blurry than original. It may be the gain amount or type of dynamics response your amp has. It more compressed, less tight. With such a dense drums part it doesn cut through the mix with enough amount of attack. I think some experiments with the tone could do the job.
I see nothing serious here to tweak. there are some minor timing issues at each lick start (after break) but these are common problem while recording.
After 0:42 tehre are a few spot where something tonaly-weird happens after tehse heavy palm mutings. Later it's gone on the same lick. It may be a resting point issue of your right hand i guess. You've fixed it later and worked better