How do you deal with someone telling you that your girlfriend is cheating on you? I love this person to death but people always tell me she is hitting on other guys. I caught her and my best friend private messaging each other in a way that she used to do with me. She also admitted to liking my best friend for a time but I try to find the best in people and move on. People constantly tell me that she is a "slut"(excuse my language) and all. Today some guy came up and told me that he felt her up yesterday and I noticed that she didnt come to my school after school. (we have two schools all guys and girls across one street) I try to make myself believe that people are just messing with me but now its getting to my head and I dont know what to do....

Did you talk with her about it? I guess you two will work your way out of this problem through an honest conversation. Don't be afraid to talk sincere with her, and have patience it shes afraid to talk. You don't have to be with that girl if she's giving you a hard time, try to find a way out of it. If you feel that she is not too into your relationship just ask her what she feels about it. If you approach her with an honest way of thinking and tell her the truth, and she doesn't approve that, or tries to talk her way out of it, without giving you the sincere answer, then my friend, perhaps it is time to find another (more honest) girl.

Talk to the subject of all gossip - Her.

Usually there's no smoke without a fire Demand some honesty and get it over with once and for all.

Dude, go up to her and talk to her. Don't beat around the bush or just try to slowly bring stuff in. Be straight out and front with her. That's the best you can do, and don't be a push over about it either, but don't be rude!

The thing is everytime I talk to her about it she gets mad at me and is all like "Why do you choose to believe them" it really annoys me too because I never do believe the people but when I'm straight up about it like she always tells me she wants me to be she gets extremly upset and I'm just confused on what to do so yeah.....

If she knows getting upset is an easy way to get you to back off she'll use that to avoid a discussion.
Why would she want to avoid a discussion? Find out why and you've come quite a bit closer.

It's not like "you choose to belive your friends", like she says, since you ask her - you want to hear the truth from her.

A good meter is to look back at how her character was before she met you. Like, if she had a boyfriend and had you on the side before you got together - it's not impossible she hasn't grown passed that yet. For example.

I'm really sorry for you man. Nothing can mess up the mind as much as a girl

You already got some good advice here. But I must say communication is an extremely big part of a relationship, and if she just gets mad when you're asking about a serious matter like this, well... that just doesn't look good.

As everyone already stated, communication is the key... Also think about the reasons why people are telling you all those stories... are they people that want to help you? Are they different people or the same group? Do they have something against her/you?

Man, why does the world have tobe so complex. I hope you solve it soon.
By the way your story somehow reminds me of this vid, not exactly the same, but somehow this wonderful song came to my mind.

Women mess you up bad though some really good tunes that have been made because of "them".

If your still in your teens then go get 3 girlfriends and go write some music.

I like that idea hahaha

Mmmmm, really hard issue.
I think that if you trust the people that told you what's doing maybe you should be aware not to trust her. Always you can try to appear in places where she cannot expect that you'll be and maybe you can "caught her in the act".
Or you can wait, I think most of these kind of things get discovered. Here we have a saying "the lie has short legs", so, eventually she won't be able to keep that lie if it's the case.

I hope all this turn to be the way you want/need mate!

When you talk to her, does she sound kind of defensive about it? I think the best way is to really have a heart to heart talk about it. Hell, if she keeps ignoring (by that I mean manipulating you into choosing to "believe" her or the people) the subject, then I think something is up. Once you can believe her truly after the talk, then you will know yourself what to do. Don't do the sneaking around thing man, your just looking for things. Just be straight up with her.

As everyone said, try talking with her again about it..

You could also propose her an ''open relation''. Then you can stay with her and date other girls.



Moderated. Edited cause of bad choice of word. /Micke

Oh... I don't like that idea. Call me old-fashioned but I've never understood that thing. I do know some people prefer it that way though but I would never agree to that myself.

I agree with Marcus here. It's also not good advice to give to a teenager.

Topic moved to Chill Out Room - Tony, on behalf of the moderating team

I agree completely...
Don't try open relationships. They don't teach you how relationships are supposed to work at all.
Talk to her.. Don't assume she's cheating, but talk about the fact that everyone tells you so and together try to understand why that is so...

I agree with what most everybody else has said, talk to her. Be firm and stand your ground when you talk too, don't be cruel or rude, but show that you got some self respect and won't put up with her if the rumors are true. Now true, some of the rumors may be stretched or fabricated, but those wouldn't have been made up if there wasn't some truth or commonly known fact. I mean, man, you caught her yourself with the questionable messages to your best friend.

And when you talk to her, don't let her getting angry stop you from getting answers. You seem to be at a crossroad where you should either get answers, or get out of the relationship. When people get defensive about a subject, its usually because they have something to hide. I was always taught that if you have nothing to hide, then you just explain your position and it'll show that you are clean. Just think about it, getting defensive basically means you are "defending" something from being exposed.

Now I know what I'm about to say may be difficult to actually do, and most likely won't be done, but you're young man, no need to get caught up in a faulty relationship now anyway. There's a good many years ahead of you and many more honest, beautiful women to come along, so no need to be involved in a relationship where both parties aren't happy. So what I suggest you do is have a true heart to heart talk to her and make it clear that you either want honest answers or the relationship should end. Also, make it clear that you are not accusing her of anything, you definitely got to make that clear, just tell her that you're hearing so much and that its messing up your head. Don't take the "you should believe me only, don't listen to other people" response, if you're met with that answer, then she obviously doesn't care that you said that you're mind is taking a toll from all these rumors. Watch body language and the eyes while you speak with her as well, if something doesn't look right, then it might just not be right. I say this is a good thing to do because either you get answers and take it from there, or you can end this relationship, where you seem to be the only one that cares. You deserve better than that my brother.
Hope that helps you a little.

justa small addition but very important. Come prepared!!!!

Go through every scenario and prepare your answers and especially your actions to different outcomes. If you get some overwhelming news you wouldn't want to make your desicion at that point while thought might be swirling around your head. Instead - Have all the answers and actions made up!

If you come to the crossroad Farmer Joe talks about, you don't want to stand open mouthed unable to speak, you would want to be prepared on what to say and what to do.

You got some really good answers here already, so I'm just gonna say that I hope you'll resolve this quickly and without too much pain!

People say that all the wars are because of women hahah

I had a relationship for over 6 years and I loved that person so much. When similar thing happened to yours then I wasn't feeling well for about 1 year but I did break up. Everything later showed who deserves the (engineer's prize*).

Rock on man and believe me there is a whole world of nice ladies. My advice is to break up now because later you can suffer much more.


* that's the way I call the God.

All the things point out that she is not right girl for you. She might be cheating on you already or just flirting and messing with other guys.
Sending text messages to your best friend, and admitting that she likes him ?
I don't know what you are waiting for really. This should be obvious choice

Plenty of girls around (remember more girls than guys on whole planet) so just move on and don't feel too bad about it. If she is doing the same its time you change your attitude towards her

Hm .. i have to admin i disagree a tiny little bit with some thoughts. Sorry, i don't want say any opinion is wrong, but maybe my view can help to balance things out a bit ..

Of course it happens sometimes to question the "status" of a relationship. Maybe the interaction with each other is going through changes or what ever, but based on "friends" talk to prepare already every scenario in your head is in my opinion "fast food" to feat jealousy. It is maybe a good preparation to avoid to be taken by surprise, but there is a high risk of not seeing things objective anymore. For example to read these messages between your girlfriend on your friend in a certain way.

My stand point to my partner is to have complete loyalty and back her up on everything. I would more question these "friends" instead of having doubts in my partner. This maybe seems to be blind in some ways, but i'm convinced that this way of thinking gives my partner an secure environment, which should be the basic of every relationship!

A lot of relationships end because of misunderstandings or different views or limits within a relationship. Still in love they get separated, because these questions have been discussed too late or in an already unstable situation.

My advise would be, if you are in love and she gives you the feeling being in love as well .. then you should start talking to your friends !! Be careful to not turn your back to the person you love based on manipulation from other people.

It is impossible to build an real opinion about your story, but i think it is not right to give advise to finish the relationship based on these small details you gave at the beginning.

Good luck and i hope everything turns out well for you !!

well hey,


is her best friend cute?

Brutal Marc !

Man, this brings me back. I dated a crazy/slutty one for about a year, but I put up with it because man was she HOT!

People always told me the same thing. Although I never believed them because she wasn't a slut with me (lol). Anyways, I was throwing a party one night and caught her kissing some dude... in front of everyone. Well I over reacted and set him home missing some teeth and a bloody shirt. Cuz I had egg on my face, and I had realized at that moment that everything that people tried to tell me was true.

This is NOT the option you want to employ. A relationship is supposed to be fun man, I would just end it before things escalate. Even if she says she isn't those things, people aren't going to stop telling you that. And in my opinion, it isn't worth the hassle.

There are lots of girls out there that you NEVER have to worry about stuff like this from. Good luck bud.

Always and it is reallly starting to bother me.



Thanks man its just confusing....lately she has been sorta distant like she is upset about something. It is starting to bother me so much.....gah! Its starting to make me want to go into a psycho ward.

Sounds like you've got your answer man. Chicks are always distant when someone has happened and they want to tell you but can't. Girls are a different breed, they can say one thing and mean something completely different. Either way, hounding her about isn't going to help (I've tried that too, another bad idea). She'll get sour on you quickly even if she hasn't been cheating.

You've got the gut feeling for a reason. Unless you've had this same feeling with every girl, than it probably has some significance. If your not happy with the amount of respect she gives you it's time to find another lady. Life it too short for this stuff, find a girl that makes you feel special instead worthless.

You could play games in this relationship for a while to find out the truth, or invest that time in someone else. Hope you get it sorted.

Tell her the truth and tell her that there is no reason for her to be upset. Why would she be upset anyway?? She should approach this thing with calm and help you with your problem. The girl who is acting that way is possibly not worthy of your time. Think about what are the things that are really currently holding you together?

Well the thing I found to day is we sort of did some stuff.... :/ and she has been upset because she felt that we shouldnt but I feel the same way. I just feel like a ass now because I feel like I pressured her into it. I have noticed though that its really upsetting her these people telling me stuff and for some reason I want to believe her because I think she is telling the truth but I dont know if it is my mind wanting me to believe this.

there are two very well known certainties in life and that is death and taxes, the third one however is that chicks aint nothin but trouble. the irony is that we men will do anything we can to avoid the first two but perversly spend our entire lives throwing ourselves in front of the juggernaught that is the female species.
my point being, you are in your mid teens and beleive me this is not the first chick that is going to mess you up like this. ask your self if you can see your self with this girl for the rest of your life, if you cant answer yes straight away then she aint the one for you and you will be well served to keep asking that question for the next few relationships. even if the question is yes then still be on your gaurd because chicks are the unbeatable at mind games and will always have the upper hand. (have been caught by this sooo many times)
going from what i have read in your postings you already have too much doubt about this girls loyalty even though your relationship may have moved up a gear recently, that and the guilt are not normal feelings mate, you should both be happy and comfortable with the developing stages of a relationship. if you dont deal with this trust issue soon it can and will get ugly, and costly if you are not being carefull. (not going to be too specific but i hope you understand what i mean).
hope you manage to steer your way through this, you can take comfort in the fact that there are not many guys in this world that havent agonised over women troubles, in fact it is an occupational hazard. the good news is the more practice you get the easier it becomes to deal with

not for him!!!!





for me