Hey Mike! Congrats on the take mate, good timing and good tone! Now let's work on the details
Spot on advice from B-meister, regarding the open C notes in the beginning - they have the be played without muting in order to make the riff sound as huge as possible.
Imagine Zakk Wylde playing this riff, in order to get a thorough idea about the attitude, feeling and sound - big, loud and tight where necessary!
There are micro bends coming out at about 0:30 which should be emphasized more and bending from the wrist should help a lot. The bends at 0:43 need to be more defined as well.
In conclusion, your take is very good and with a little more attention to the details it can be perfect! Nice work! What would you like to tackle next - let me know