The Spineless Liar Options

[Canis]

(Chourus)
We're going down to Yggdrasil,
with scorching blades of fire!
We're going down to Yggdrasil,
to kill the Spineless Liar!

(Pre-bridge-thingy..)
Let the swords sing,
as death we bring!
Let the swords sing,
for your king!

(Bridge)
Gather 'round men, tonight we light the fire!
Gather 'round men, tonight we smite the Spineless Liar!

(Verse 1)
Grab your axe,
spread the dread,
blood by blood,
divulge his head!

(Verse 2)
You went under the skn,
of my very kin!
I'll show you swine,
that you have no spine!

(Verse 3/outro)
My daughter is gone,
my grandchild unborn!
You lit the endless fire,
my sweet Spineless Liar!

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All lyrics copyright: Aleksander Ottesen & Guttorm Lange

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Some lyrics in the viking-folk style, me and my cousin was inspired to write today.. We have melody, rhythm and riffs at the moment, but we wanted to get some feedback on the lyrics. It's not put together the way it's written above, as we'll figure out the order of the verses and the chourus later.

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[Rated Htr]

Had fun reading Cannis I thought of a funny rythm for it and it made me laught

Anyways, I ain't gonna comment on every verse, because it's only got one thing that I dislike on two places:

divulge his head! (divulge is a strange formal word that I don't feel that it should be part of viking chants)

Gather 'round men, tonight we smite the Spineless Liar! (Smite is a good word but I feel some contrast with singing smite the spineless, just doesn't sound good to me)

Would love to hear an upload of the song Cannis, so I could judge it better

Cheers
Filipe

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[Canis]

Thanks for the feedback ^^
I'll check into those words if we could find some better suiting ones

When I read it again, I got a funny melody in my head as well... Some kind of childrens-pirate chant xD

I'll definetly upload it when we're done =)

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[jer]

makes me wanna down some ale and grab my battleaxe!!!!!

And thats a good thing.

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[audiopaal]

Hehe, nice Canis
Looking forward to the upload

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[Eat-Sleep-andJam]

This reminds me alot of the small dwarf dude from the LOTR movies. I can just imagine him singing this .


This was ok. As mentioned above. There are some words in here that break the rhythm up alot.
At some parts it feels more comical then serious ?

Might wanna edit it a little, is most certainly has the potential to be fierce

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