For me I think it's a feeling of having to achieve something with my life. Something I can look back upon and be happy with.
However, it's a long story, and it often becomes an obsession or borderline obsessive thinking, as I can't relax and i.e. watch a movie without making it something related to the music I want to write. I want it to be motivating, inspirational etc., it can't just be for the sake of shutting off the brain and relax. Even the music itself is often not built around relaxation. It's something I want to work on. Letting go of these thoughts, especially when not even having to focus on music, so that I can watch a TV show, movie, play a game and enjoy being in the NOW with whatever I'm doing.
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