Shun, New song done! |
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Oct 29 2009, 10:43 PM
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QUOTE (Kristofer Dahl @ Oct 29 2009, 09:47 PM)  I actually did it like that first - I had yet a line where there now is silence (so in total four lines where there now is two). But I felt there wasn't any breathing room - there was too much Kris all over the place. In the version below I have thrown in a subtle choir thing in between these [pre chorus] lines - it should probably be mixed higher but would then need some eq work and maybe a cool reverb/delay effect to make it sound like a "scream on a cliff" or similar. (  )I have improved the vocal takes in the version below - at least enough for us to decide if my vocal ideas fit the tune. If you guys think they do - I'll continue to work on the next verse. When we are finished with the tune and still think that there are some takes that need to be improved - I have higher odds of nailing them (because I have had more practicing time by then). [attachment=18780:shun_rough_draft1.mp3] (Lyrics are the same) Your image burns my heart Your image has burnt a hole in my heart No more I taste the seed No more I feel the need No more I ache to heal No more I can conceal I live just like you preach My sight would raise the dead Save me from my hell... 'Cause you have burned my heart The subtle choir thing worked like a charm!  It filled the void perfectly. Simple and effective. I also liked the way you delivered the first two lines over the first version. First verse sounds better too allaround. And i especially like the delivery of the conceal line! Right now I'm just annoyed that the mp3 ends right before verse 2 starts I want to hear more, but then it just starts from the beginning. So yes, please continue 
This post has been edited by Trond Vold: Oct 29 2009, 10:43 PM -------------------- Guitars: Schecter Stiletto Classic, Jackson SLSMG, Ibanez RG-380 Japan, Gibson Les Paul Studio
Amp: Marshall JMP-1 -> Rocktron Velocity 100 -> Marshall JCM-900 Lead 4x12 FX and stomps: T.C Electronics G-Sharp, Korg SDD-1200, Emma Transmorgrifier, BYOC Tribooster, GGG Green Ringer, Dinosaur Overdrive, Voodoo Lab SuperFuzz, Sovtek Bassballs, Line6 Tap Tremolo, EHX Screaming Bird. ___________________________________________________ My Lessons! My Instructor Board! My Myspace! |
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Nov 4 2009, 02:41 AM
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MAN!!!!!..i,m BLOWN away!!!! that was friggin AWESOME guys...i would buy that tomorrow, it sounded that good!
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Nov 4 2009, 03:54 PM
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Thanks for the awesome comments guys - Trond's composition/arrangemt is killer!
I was hoping to have advanced more on the song by now - but I have got a healthy dose of reality lately! New section marked in red: --------------- 
shun_rough_draft2.mp3 ( 4.2MB )
Number of downloads: 367Your image burns my heart Your image has burnt a hole in my heart No more I taste the seed No more I feel the need No more I ache to heal No more I can conceal I live just like you preach My sight would raise the dead Save me from my hell... 'Cause you have burned my heart A thousand days from now I leave you where you stand A fortress built for me Burnt down by bloody hands You gave me emptiness I give you nothingness Save me from my hell... 'Cause you burned my heart --------------- A few comments - I had some problems coming up with a good vocal part for 2:35 - 2:42 if you still think we need something more there we could try making the drum beat more steady there. This could result in a further increase of intensity/climax, which might work well since the part before is like a build-up (to me). I absolutely love the part which starts at 3:11 - it's really cool and if you agree I suggest we keep it instrumental. In that case maybe it should be shortened down a little? (to keep a good flow) I just copy an pasted the chorus - my plan is to practice it some more and then try to re-record it (the first chorus as well). |
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Nov 4 2009, 03:56 PM
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Thanks guys for the comments!
Too bad i'm stuck at work now for a few more hours  Cant wait to hear the new version!
This post has been edited by Trond Vold: Nov 4 2009, 03:57 PM -------------------- Guitars: Schecter Stiletto Classic, Jackson SLSMG, Ibanez RG-380 Japan, Gibson Les Paul Studio
Amp: Marshall JMP-1 -> Rocktron Velocity 100 -> Marshall JCM-900 Lead 4x12 FX and stomps: T.C Electronics G-Sharp, Korg SDD-1200, Emma Transmorgrifier, BYOC Tribooster, GGG Green Ringer, Dinosaur Overdrive, Voodoo Lab SuperFuzz, Sovtek Bassballs, Line6 Tap Tremolo, EHX Screaming Bird. ___________________________________________________ My Lessons! My Instructor Board! My Myspace! |
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Nov 4 2009, 04:52 PM
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Excellent track Trond. Your style is unique, and I love it
QUOTE (Kristofer Dahl @ Nov 4 2009, 03:54 PM) Thanks for the awesome comments guys - Trond's composition/arrangemt is killer! I was hoping to have advanced more on the song by now - but I have got a healthy dose of reality lately! New section marked in red: ---------------
shun_rough_draft2.mp3 ( 4.2MB )
Number of downloads: 367Your image burns my heart Your image has burnt a hole in my heart No more I taste the seed No more I feel the need No more I ache to heal No more I can conceal I live just like you preach My sight would raise the dead Save me from my hell... 'Cause you have burned my heart A thousand days from now I leave you where you stand A fortress built for me Burnt down by bloody hands You gave me emptiness I give you nothingness Save me from my hell... 'Cause you burned my heart --------------- A few comments - I had some problems coming up with a good vocal part for 2:35 - 2:42 if you still think we need something more there we could try making the drum beat more steady there. This could result in a further increase of intensity/climax, which might work well since the part before is like a build-up (to me). I absolutely love the part which starts at 3:11 - it's really cool and if you agree I suggest we keep it instrumental. In that case maybe it should be shortened down a little? (to keep a good flow) I just copy an pasted the chorus - my plan is to practice it some more and then try to re-record it (the first chorus as well). Wow. That sounds so great. Everytime I hear your voice it reminds me so much of Metallica. The chorus is stunning. I'd like to hear the vocals a bit louder though, they are a bit hidden in the mix for my taste. -------------------- Guitars:
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster, Ibanez RG2570MZ, Epiphone SG G-400 Amp: Vox AC4TVH head + V112TV cab Effects: Vox Satchurator, Vox Time Machine, Dunlop CryBaby, Boss MT-2, Boss CE-5, Boss TU-2, Boss ME-70 Recording: Line-6 POD X3 + FBV-Express, Pandora PX5D GMC wants YOU to take part in our Guitar-Wikipedia! Have a good time reading great articles and writing your own with us in our GUITAR WIKI! Share your playing and get Pro-advice from our Instructors: Join REC |
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Nov 4 2009, 05:27 PM
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This is so great I decided to feature it on our Journal
 https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/wiki/index.php/Portal:GMC It's also on the main page. This is one of the best tracks I've heard in a long time! -------------------- Guitars:
Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster, Ibanez RG2570MZ, Epiphone SG G-400 Amp: Vox AC4TVH head + V112TV cab Effects: Vox Satchurator, Vox Time Machine, Dunlop CryBaby, Boss MT-2, Boss CE-5, Boss TU-2, Boss ME-70 Recording: Line-6 POD X3 + FBV-Express, Pandora PX5D GMC wants YOU to take part in our Guitar-Wikipedia! Have a good time reading great articles and writing your own with us in our GUITAR WIKI! Share your playing and get Pro-advice from our Instructors: Join REC |
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Nov 4 2009, 06:30 PM
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This is a great piece of music.
Just add good vocals to it and it will be a masterpiece, well done Trond. edit: I am listing to the first post without vocals This post has been edited by playaxeman: Nov 4 2009, 06:32 PM -------------------- Gear:
Guitars Music Man Luke BFR , Music Man JP LTD 2008, Paul Reed Smith Santana III, Gibson Les Paul, Ovation Adamas, Ovation Ultra Amps Hughes & Kettner Switchblade 50 combo Effects Korg Pandora PX5D, Line 6 Pod XT Live Recording Guitar Rig 5, Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000, Magix MusicMaker2008 Visit My Website  |
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Nov 4 2009, 07:24 PM
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QUOTE (Fran @ Nov 4 2009, 05:27 PM) This is so great I decided to feature it on our Journal https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/wiki/index.php/Portal:GMC It's also on the main page. This is one of the best tracks I've heard in a long time! Hehe awesome Fran! QUOTE (playaxeman @ Nov 4 2009, 06:30 PM) edit: I am listing to the first post without vocals hehe that comment saved me from crying |
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Really cool work!|
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Nov 5 2009, 06:09 PM
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QUOTE (Kristofer Dahl @ Nov 4 2009, 03:54 PM) Thanks for the awesome comments guys - Trond's composition/arrangemt is killer! I was hoping to have advanced more on the song by now - but I have got a healthy dose of reality lately! New section marked in red: ---------------
shun_rough_draft2.mp3 ( 4.2MB )
Number of downloads: 367Your image burns my heart Your image has burnt a hole in my heart No more I taste the seed No more I feel the need No more I ache to heal No more I can conceal I live just like you preach My sight would raise the dead Save me from my hell... 'Cause you have burned my heart A thousand days from now I leave you where you stand A fortress built for me Burnt down by bloody hands You gave me emptiness I give you nothingness Save me from my hell... 'Cause you burned my heart --------------- A few comments - I had some problems coming up with a good vocal part for 2:35 - 2:42 if you still think we need something more there we could try making the drum beat more steady there. This could result in a further increase of intensity/climax, which might work well since the part before is like a build-up (to me). I absolutely love the part which starts at 3:11 - it's really cool and if you agree I suggest we keep it instrumental. In that case maybe it should be shortened down a little? (to keep a good flow) I just copy an pasted the chorus - my plan is to practice it some more and then try to re-record it (the first chorus as well). That was just too cool! The lyrics on the 2nd verse was awesome, and i especially liked the delivery of the 1st line. With a different timing on the 2nd line, and maybe adding a word or two (if thats possible), i think it would fit perfectly. How abuot some vocals on the synthpart before verse 2? I had an idea for some melodic vocal-harmonies on the 3.11 section, but might work just as good keeping it instrumental. I'll see if i can trim it down
-------------------- Guitars: Schecter Stiletto Classic, Jackson SLSMG, Ibanez RG-380 Japan, Gibson Les Paul Studio
Amp: Marshall JMP-1 -> Rocktron Velocity 100 -> Marshall JCM-900 Lead 4x12 FX and stomps: T.C Electronics G-Sharp, Korg SDD-1200, Emma Transmorgrifier, BYOC Tribooster, GGG Green Ringer, Dinosaur Overdrive, Voodoo Lab SuperFuzz, Sovtek Bassballs, Line6 Tap Tremolo, EHX Screaming Bird. ___________________________________________________ My Lessons! My Instructor Board! My Myspace! |
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Nov 5 2009, 09:42 PM
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This is cool. I like the sound of guitar, very smooth, also intro-melody is super!
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Nov 6 2009, 01:38 PM
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Wow, this is sounding really cool. Love those guitars
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Nov 12 2009, 11:29 PM
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Ok I have added some more stuff (in red) and tweaked verse 2 a little.
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shun_rough_draft4.mp3 ( 5.47MB )
Number of downloads: 529Your image burns my heart Your image has burnt a hole in my heart No more I taste the seed No more I feel the need No more I ache to heal No more I can conceal I live just like you preach My sight would raise the dead Save me from my hell... 'Cause you have burned my heart Your image has turned into stone Your image turns my heart into stone A thousand days from now I will leave you where you stand A fortress built for me Burnt down by bloody hands You gave me emptiness I give you nothingness Save me from my hell... 'Cause you burned my heart Forever shall the wounds of my soul incarcerate the image of my burning heart I live just like you preach My sight would raise the dead Save me from my hell... 'Cause you have burned my heart Heartburner ------------------------------------ All takes are unfortunately not keepers yet - but I would suggest we try mixing my vocals seriously now, to get an impression of how the end product will sound. Also this will inspire me to keep practicing/recording takes to fix the places we feel need improvement. (also we'll think a little more about the ending) If you agree - I would like to send you the files I have got so far! By the way I have had a chance to listen more to your solo now - and everybody should check it out as it features an awesome motive development, very well done!
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Nov 13 2009, 02:04 AM
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QUOTE (Kristofer Dahl @ Nov 12 2009, 11:29 PM) Ok I have added some more stuff (in red) and tweaked verse 2 a little. ------------------------------------
shun_rough_draft4.mp3 ( 5.47MB )
Number of downloads: 529Your image burns my heart Your image has burnt a hole in my heart No more I taste the seed No more I feel the need No more I ache to heal No more I can conceal I live just like you preach My sight would raise the dead Save me from my hell... 'Cause you have burned my heart Your image has turned into stone Your image turns my heart into stone A thousand days from now I will leave you where you stand A fortress built for me Burnt down by bloody hands You gave me emptiness I give you nothingness Save me from my hell... 'Cause you burned my heart Forever shall the wounds of my soul incarcerate the image of my burning heart I live just like you preach My sight would raise the dead Save me from my hell... 'Cause you have burned my heart Heartburner ------------------------------------ All takes are unfortunately not keepers yet - but I would suggest we try mixing my vocals seriously now, to get an impression of how the end product will sound. Also this will inspire me to keep practicing/recording takes to fix the places we feel need improvement. (also we'll think a little more about the ending) If you agree - I would like to send you the files I have got so far! By the way I have had a chance to listen more to your solo now - and everybody should check it out as it features an awesome motive development, very well done!  I love it! There's! Your improving drastically for each draft!The 2nd verse had a much better flow to it now. Only thing that sounded a bit off was the change after the fortress line. And also, the 3rd chorus sounded so much more powerfull and clearer than the other 2. It also had impeccable timing! I'm eagerly awaiting the files for some mixing!
-------------------- Guitars: Schecter Stiletto Classic, Jackson SLSMG, Ibanez RG-380 Japan, Gibson Les Paul Studio
Amp: Marshall JMP-1 -> Rocktron Velocity 100 -> Marshall JCM-900 Lead 4x12 FX and stomps: T.C Electronics G-Sharp, Korg SDD-1200, Emma Transmorgrifier, BYOC Tribooster, GGG Green Ringer, Dinosaur Overdrive, Voodoo Lab SuperFuzz, Sovtek Bassballs, Line6 Tap Tremolo, EHX Screaming Bird. ___________________________________________________ My Lessons! My Instructor Board! My Myspace! |
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Nov 13 2009, 04:03 AM
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very very good!, i love your voice in this one kris, very good!
--------------------  Check my Instructor Profile Rockers! Got a Blog too!, www.adriantracks.com Follow me on facebook and youtube! -Youtube   |
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Nov 13 2009, 05:15 AM
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Great done guys!!. Awesome work!
-------------------- Check out my lessons!
My Band: Thabu Myspace New Thabu Official Site!! My Websites: http://www.santiagodiazgarces.com.ar Myspace |
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Nov 14 2009, 12:35 AM
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Awesome to hear you guys are digging it!
Trond - files are on their way! |
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