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> Finding The Right Band To Play With
zeus
post Dec 4 2011, 01:41 AM
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I've had quite a difficult time finding the right band to play with recently.

At the moment I'm looking to join a band as a lead guitarist instead of starting my own group and finding musicians. I've had 4 auditions with different groups so far and I can't find musicians who are serious about their instruments.I also don't really love their music. I'm looking for individuals who are dedicated to the band and making music but also dedicated to learning their own instrument. The bands I'm auditioning for have overly simplistic music.

I could join one of these bands and have plenty of leads, but I think we settle for too many things in life, and a band shouldn't be one of them.I've been searching for 6 months and have entertained the idea of starting my own group. However, I haven't done anything like that before and I'm a little afraid to try it.

I've been searching on Craigslist and through word of mouth by fellow musicians to find bands.

Anyone else every struggle to find a good group to play with?


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Nihilist1
post Dec 4 2011, 08:57 AM
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QUOTE (zeus @ Dec 4 2011, 12:41 AM) *
I've had quite a difficult time finding the right band to play with recently.

At the moment I'm looking to join a band as a lead guitarist instead of starting my own group and finding musicians. I've had 4 auditions with different groups so far and I can't find musicians who are serious about their instruments.I also don't really love their music. I'm looking for individuals who are dedicated to the band and making music but also dedicated to learning their own instrument. The bands I'm auditioning for have overly simplistic music.

I could join one of these bands and have plenty of leads, but I think we settle for too many things in life, and a band shouldn't be one of them.I've been searching for 6 months and have entertained the idea of starting my own group. However, I haven't done anything like that before and I'm a little afraid to try it.

I've been searching on Craigslist and through word of mouth by fellow musicians to find bands.

Anyone else every struggle to find a good group to play with?


Try www.bandmix.com

I have yet to actually use it, but I have heard some good stuff. A buddy of mine who is a budding funk bassist found a band and they are cultivating him quite well. The only issue, is I don't know if it works outside the United States. So if anyone on here from another country wants to use it, I can't guarantee anything.


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Ivan Milenkovic
post Dec 4 2011, 03:40 PM
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Hmm, it can be tough, especially if you are in the community where it is hard to find musicians that match your musical interests. What type of music do you play btw? Do you have any songs yet?


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Gabriel Leopardi
post Dec 4 2011, 06:33 PM
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It's very difficult to find a good band to join. When I was younger I found one and it was a very good experience excepting that as the band didn't depend of me, when the leader decided to stop I lost everything we had done. From that day I decided that I would start my own band that depends on me.


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Ben Higgins
post Dec 4 2011, 06:37 PM
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QUOTE (zeus @ Dec 4 2011, 12:41 AM) *
I could join one of these bands and have plenty of leads, but I think we settle for too many things in life, and a band shouldn't be one of them.


I'm right with you on that one. I've only got this one life and I'm not going to settle and have those regrets as an old man. People do settle for a lot of things they don't really want.. marriages, anyone ? wink.gif

But regards starting a band.. I sorted of ended up having to start my own band and lead it by necessity but I'm glad of it because I look back and know that I couldn't really have it any other way. And believe it or not, at the risk of sounding arrogant (I don't mean to at all), most people want someone else to take the lead anyway because they don't want the pressure and responsibility.. so in theory you shouldn't have too much resistance with the majority of musos you meet, only the ocassional one who may also want to lead. And if they do, well you might both end up being the drivers.. or it might be soneone who wants to run their own band but isn't into the same stuff so you won't be working with them anyway. So regardless of their preferred role, you'll only end up working with people who want to be in your band and play the music you do smile.gif

But the one thing that would decide it for me is: If you're scared of doing it, then that's precisely the reason why you should ! smile.gif

Oh, I forgot: Yeah, bandmix.com is a pretty good resource but the number one site for results for me has always been joinmyband. com (.co.uk for me, not sure what it's like for the States, but should be just as good)

This post has been edited by Ben Higgins: Dec 4 2011, 06:39 PM


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Daniel Realpe
post Dec 5 2011, 04:55 AM
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it is definitely tough to find someone who is in the same path as you,

To me it's been difficult to find musicians who are as passionate as me to create music,

It sounds like you are the kind of guy to start a band not to join one


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Cosmin Lupu
post Dec 6 2011, 10:20 AM
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Through time, since 2003, most likely, I have been put in the position of making decisions or dealing with nasty situations, as the voice of my bands, more often than not. This made me realize that, leading is not a thing which we necessarily decide upon but, a thing which turns out this way, as a result of our actions in various contexts.

If you care about what's happening in a group, you will take initiative, you will act, you will want to make things happen and get good results!

As Ben said, I do not mean to sound cocky or arrogant in any way, but, when I look back in time, I always see that I was the one talking, coming up with ideas and making them happen, by honing the capabilities and talents of the guys I was and am working with.

I think you should take on the path which puts you in the position of making decisions and picking whom you want to work with. Keep in mind some important things:

- you need dedicated people
- you need good musicians
- you need to think about all the details and aspects, from the music, logistics and marketing
- you need compatible people (this is not necessarily compulsory, but if you get this, there's going to be a certain sort of magic which is pretty rare)

Of course, as Ben stated, there are cases where there's two drivers (both my bands share two of us running things alongside our manager) but take care - more heads are usually a problem smile.gif

There's many things we can talk about, but I'll let everyone state their opinion so we can build this up nicely and gather all the wisdom in one place!

Cosmin


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Ben Higgins
post Dec 6 2011, 12:21 PM
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Yes, great points from Cosmin smile.gif

It's also important to give people enough room to be themselves so you get to find out exactly what person they are. A few people in my band ended up effectively sacking themselves because they were so unwilling to make any effort. So that's one thing I'd pay careful attention to: Don't let people make you pick up the shortfall all the time because if you show willing to do everything and anything, they'll capitalise on this and end up putting in 0% all the time because you're putting in 100% for everybody else.

That's one of the most difficult things I've ever experienced in a band scenario. Having to balance your desire to make progress with not carrying other people on your shoulders and letting them drag you down.

Another important thing: It's always tempting to give in to pressure in order to please other people and keep them happy but bear in mind that people pleasing can seriously harm the quality of your art. In other words, you can dilute the music if you try to let everyone have their riff, idea in there. Never be afraid of making a direct desicion and sticking with it. Most people don't want to be leaders anyway so although they may sulk occasionally they'll still ultimately be glad that someone else is leading. smile.gif

It's not all bad, of course wink.gif Just thought we'd help with some of the more difficult, less obvious aspects.



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Alex Feather
post Dec 6 2011, 07:48 PM
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It's a very common thing! You are looking for the right band but it's hard to find! A while back my teacher told me: "If it's not fun - it's not worth it!" When I was starting out I tried to do the same thing and join a band that I will like... I couldn't find one, so I learned to enjoy music and songs that I did't like I was trying to find something that will get me motivated like a little melody or a solo or maybe even a rhythm part. It took me a while but now I can play with any band and enjoy it! Basically it's up to you you can keep looking and as we all know "who is looking, always finding" or you can just go ahead and join the band that has most potential and try to work it out!
Good luck!


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zeus
post Dec 8 2011, 12:08 AM
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Thank you guys for your great answers.

I'm leaning more and more toward starting my own band. It's intimidating for me, but it seems like the best course of action. Cosmin's list of the 4 things you need for a band is what has always been discouraging to me. It seems like it would be so hard to find the right people with all the right attributes.

Another thing is I don't see myself as a good leader.I suck at taking risks. I avoid confrontation. I can't get enough things done. I don't have confidence in myself.

As one of the instructors on this site puts it: "the only enemy is within" (sorry, forgot who says that)



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Cosmin Lupu
post Dec 8 2011, 09:32 AM
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QUOTE (zeus @ Dec 7 2011, 11:08 PM) *
Thank you guys for your great answers.

I'm leaning more and more toward starting my own band. It's intimidating for me, but it seems like the best course of action. Cosmin's list of the 4 things you need for a band is what has always been discouraging to me. It seems like it would be so hard to find the right people with all the right attributes.

Another thing is I don't see myself as a good leader.I suck at taking risks. I avoid confrontation. I can't get enough things done. I don't have confidence in myself.

As one of the instructors on this site puts it: "the only enemy is within" (sorry, forgot who says that)


It's Zen master Higgins alright biggrin.gif

Mr. ZEUS (your Greek god nickname should instantaneously turn you into a leader, right? wink.gif ) life will make you face a lot of decisions smile.gif why not start the training a little bit early on? smile.gif What have you got to lose?


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Ben Higgins
post Dec 8 2011, 09:58 AM
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If something makes you afraid then you can take it as a sign that it is something that will cause you to expand your comfort zone.. it will make you grow as a person. The discomfort is part of the process, it will never go away. With each new situation you face, you will have to push through some level of fear to get to the other side. When you do, that situation becomes less frightening and you'll be looking for the next level.

Also, this fear is what keeps 99% of people from doing the things they always wanted to do with their lifes. It's because in the modern age we treat fear as something that should be got rid of, like a disease. But to our ancestors it was a necessary part of their daily lives, like breathing and eating. So most of us spend our lives waiting for the time when the fear's not there anymore.. of course it never happens. Use it as a kind of sign to show you when you're on to something potentially good and rewarding. If it makes you scared, it's because the rewards involved are big. Most run and hide but only the brave will step forward to claim it. smile.gif


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Cosmin Lupu
post Dec 8 2011, 10:35 AM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Dec 8 2011, 08:58 AM) *
If something makes you afraid then you can take it as a sign that it is something that will cause you to expand your comfort zone.. it will make you grow as a person. The discomfort is part of the process, it will never go away. With each new situation you face, you will have to push through some level of fear to get to the other side. When you do, that situation becomes less frightening and you'll be looking for the next level.

Also, this fear is what keeps 99% of people from doing the things they always wanted to do with their lifes. It's because in the modern age we treat fear as something that should be got rid of, like a disease. But to our ancestors it was a necessary part of their daily lives, like breathing and eating. So most of us spend our lives waiting for the time when the fear's not there anymore.. of course it never happens. Use it as a kind of sign to show you when you're on to something potentially good and rewarding. If it makes you scared, it's because the rewards involved are big. Most run and hide but only the brave will step forward to claim it. smile.gif


Aye!


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Saoirse O'Shea
post Dec 8 2011, 01:19 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Dec 8 2011, 08:58 AM) *
...

Also, this fear is what keeps 99% of people from doing the things they always wanted to do with their lifes. It's because in the modern age we treat fear as something that should be got rid of, like a disease. But to our ancestors it was a necessary part of their daily lives, like breathing and eating. So most of us spend our lives waiting for the time when the fear's not there anymore.. of course it never happens. Use it as a kind of sign to show you when you're on to something potentially good and rewarding. If it makes you scared, it's because the rewards involved are big. Most run and hide but only the brave will step forward to claim it. smile.gif


That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Part of Kierkegaard's existential argument was that we should be able to find the strength to peer in to the abys and walk away rather than be frozen by fear. Bataille used to argue that the real strength is not to walk away but to throw yourself in to the abys laughing.


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Nihilist1
post Dec 8 2011, 02:19 PM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Dec 4 2011, 05:37 PM) *
I'm right with you on that one. I've only got this one life and I'm not going to settle and have those regrets as an old man. People do settle for a lot of things they don't really want.. marriages, anyone ? wink.gif


Think of it this way. you practice to get better, because you want to be the best musician you can. You may not have confidence, but you know what has to be done, and you apply yourself. It is the same concept with a band. Jamming with others is the best way to improve, and if you want to get better, you have to apply yourself and search for those musicians you are compatible with. A band is EXACTLY like a marriage. So why settle for less? The one thing black metal has taught me, is that if you want to have your vision unfold, and you want to get shit done, you have to do it yourself. There is truly no better way. I was afraid of a lot of things, but I use something as a drive in order to push myself, and it has worked wonders.

For me personally, I force myself to think of what "object or goal I want" and then I force myself to work on the tiniest details no matter how small they may be, no matter how tired I am, or how scared, etc, until I achieve that goal.

Do you want to be a Rock star? Get your vision of a band together and do it. There can be no other way.

Good luck, and most importantly, stay strong. You have a lot more strength inside than you think you do; and when you finally take that leap, you will look back and wonder why you were so scared to do it in the first place.

wink.gif


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zeus
post Dec 9 2011, 04:04 AM
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Great knowledge in this thread.

Addressing the "inner" issues of starting a band, and then dealing with the "outer" ones.

My fear of it is kind of silly in a way, because I have done scarier things than this in life. But playing in a successful band has been a dream of mine since I was very young. It's the only thing that's really been important to me.

The only thing to it is to do it.


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Nihilist1
post Dec 9 2011, 04:29 AM
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QUOTE (zeus @ Dec 9 2011, 03:04 AM) *
Great knowledge in this thread.

Addressing the "inner" issues of starting a band, and then dealing with the "outer" ones.

My fear of it is kind of silly in a way, because I have done scarier things than this in life. But playing in a successful band has been a dream of mine since I was very young. It's the only thing that's really been important to me.

The only thing to it is to do it.


It is like Mark Twain once said, "Life is just one damn thing after another!"

You just have to get out there and do it. You may become weary, sad, lonely, etc, but if you truly want it to happen, you have to work for it every waking moment you can. No matter how bad you may feel.

Good luck, Zeus!


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Ben Higgins
post Dec 9 2011, 10:42 AM
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QUOTE (zeus @ Dec 9 2011, 03:04 AM) *
The only thing to it is to do it.


Definitely. Go for it. When things get to you just read this and remind yourself of the mountain story !! wink.gif

http://www.geoffthompson.com/detailArticles.asp?id=57


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Cosmin Lupu
post Dec 9 2011, 11:48 AM
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QUOTE (Ben Higgins @ Dec 9 2011, 09:42 AM) *
Definitely. Go for it. When things get to you just read this and remind yourself of the mountain story !! wink.gif

http://www.geoffthompson.com/detailArticles.asp?id=57


Wow! Thanks for the article Ben! biggrin.gif really had a nice time reading it!


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Ivan Milenkovic
post Dec 9 2011, 12:02 PM
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Try to make some of your own songs, and approach different musicians with the idea of a band. If you have good songs, good story, and are ready to play (meaning you can get gigs after 10 rehearsals or so) you will find musicians to play with you much easier.


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