Woke Up This Morning........... |
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Woke Up This Morning........... |
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Oct 30 2017, 09:48 AM |
Woke up in the early hours this morning (2:30) feeling all anxious, loads of things going through my head, the most upsetting for me was, "Why am I bothering to learn guitar? I'll never be any good. I'm just wasting my time, I might as well sell everything".
This went on for a few hours along with many other things. I just feel kinda empty about guitar at the moment. I'm hoping it's just some kind of funk, it hasn't crept up on me, just suddenly manifested. I was struggling to practise last week but that was more due to time because of a heavy work load. I guess the fact that it upset me thinking about my guitar playing in that way, means something, I don't know what though. Anyone else been through this? Any advice? Thanks -------------------- SEE MY GMC CERTIFICATE “Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in instalments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.” Israelmore Ayivor |
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Oct 30 2017, 10:48 AM |
Thanks Ben,
I have done things in the creativity workshop that I am happy with and have played to people but as for a song, no I haven't. I don't understand song structure enough. I'm just feeling empty about it all today, hopefully it will be very short lived.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJmz25TsUhA https://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=kFE_QBqUn60 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FYORFIBnAA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiDgj_NrPW8 This post has been edited by Phil66: Oct 31 2017, 09:25 PM -------------------- SEE MY GMC CERTIFICATE “Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in instalments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.” Israelmore Ayivor |
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Oct 30 2017, 11:20 AM |
Thanks Ben and Kris,
Maybe it's just a bit of guitar burn out. The ONLY days I don't practise is when it's not possible, holiday, illness or one of life's curve balls. At this very moment in time I don't even feel like picking up a guitar but yesterday I was fine, I was enjoying Kris' livestream, had an enjoyable practise too. This is just out of the blue As for going new places, every weekend we visit new places. Stoneleigh Abbey yesterday where Jane Austen spent time and wrote some of her works. It was a fascinating tour with a guide in costume of the era. He was very dramatic and got us all laughing with the tales. One of the rooms is where Handel composed some of his works and there is a thousand year old oak under which Shakespeare wrote one of his sonnets. It was awesome to think I was standing right on the spot where he did that. We do things like this every weekend. Thanks for your help Ben and Kris. I'm sure I'll come out of the darkness soon. This post has been edited by Phil66: Oct 30 2017, 05:21 PM -------------------- SEE MY GMC CERTIFICATE “Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in instalments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.” Israelmore Ayivor |
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Oct 30 2017, 12:16 PM |
Thanks Mertay,
Most of the time I enjoy it, sometimes I don't feel like it but it is a habit to practise every day. I also have that fear of regression if I don't practise. Cheers -------------------- SEE MY GMC CERTIFICATE “Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in instalments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.” Israelmore Ayivor |
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Oct 30 2017, 08:33 PM |
Thanks Mertay and Scott.
It feels weird to have happened so suddenly. I full of "What's the point?" feelings. I'm sure it will pass, I'm sitting here tonight, still about to practise, that's me, kinda got an addictive personality, I practise every night out of habit, most of the time I enjoy it but it's what I do so even if I don't really feel like it I do it. Self destruction mode I guess. Thanks for all of your advice folks. -------------------- SEE MY GMC CERTIFICATE “Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in instalments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.” Israelmore Ayivor |
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Oct 30 2017, 08:58 PM |
All the time. In fact it goes so far as me constantly being on the edge of "getting found out" so to speak. Lots of artists are this way. You're never good enough in your own eyes and you think that at some point you're gonna be called out as a fraud. Irrational? Of course but that's just the way it is with a lot of musicians.
So on to the practical ... My personal remedy is to learn something new, preferably out of my bailiwick and away from my comfort zone. Even if I never really get what I'm going for it makes me hear and see some things differently and usually leads me back to liking my guitar again. *I'm in one of those periods right now. I hate everything I play, I think I suck and I barely even wanna look at the fucking thing. -------------------- - Ken Lasaine
https://soundcloud.com/klasaine2/foolin-the-clouds https://soundcloud.com/klasaine2/surfin-at-the-country-hop Soundcloud assorted ... https://soundcloud.com/klasaine3 New record ... http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kenlasaine Solo Guitar ... https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXZh...5iIdO2tpgtj25Ke Stuff I'm on ... https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXZh...b-dhb-4B0KgRY-d |
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Oct 30 2017, 10:23 PM |
I hate everything I play, I think I suck and I barely even wanna look at the fucking thing. Thanks Ken, That's just how I'm feeling. I still practised tonight though. I'm just amazed this funk came out of the blue. Had a few of life's curve balls recently. I've been at a progress sticking point (same lesson for twelve months but I hate to quit it even though Gab suggested I move on and come back to it later. I can be stubborn). Maybe these are all contributing factors. Maybe I need to make some changes to my approach. I'll push through it I'm sure. Cheers -------------------- SEE MY GMC CERTIFICATE “Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in instalments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.” Israelmore Ayivor |
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Oct 31 2017, 01:36 AM |
As you've seen from the replies this is something that pretty much everyone struggles with at some point I certainly had a HUGE dose of it when I was kicked out of my third guitar teachers place and labeled "unteachable", again. I put it down for several years after that and didn't pick it up again until my mid teens. It took me years of working through the "suck". Three years straight of non stop practice just to get to the point where I didn't hate every single thing I played. Wrote my first songs finally and that more than anything else helped a lot. They were not very good, but just having done it felt like a huge victory. I'll share a few with you. They were recorded badly as a bonus (on four track tape) cause I didn't know anything about that either But it's all part of the journey. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm singing as well!
On The Wings of The Night https://soundcloud.com/techniqueswithtodd/talisman-on-the-wings-of-the-night Shattered Dreams https://soundcloud.com/techniqueswithtodd/talisman-shattered-dreams The Final Day https://soundcloud.com/techniqueswithtodd/talisman-the-final-day Thanks Ken,
That's just how I'm feeling. I still practised tonight though. I'm just amazed this funk came out of the blue. Had a few of life's curve balls recently. I've been at a progress sticking point (same lesson for twelve months but I hate to quit it even though Gab suggested I move on and come back to it later. I can be stubborn). Maybe these are all contributing factors. Maybe I need to make some changes to my approach. I'll push through it I'm sure. Cheers This post has been edited by Todd Simpson: Oct 31 2017, 02:49 AM |
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Oct 31 2017, 03:21 AM |
Great topic and answers here. I've shared my thoughts on this at the mentoring program.
I have been working with you for many time, and I know that some personal issues have been affecting you in many aspects. So it's normal that you feel like that with some of the things that you love. I feel that the answer you your question, based on what I know from you, is simple. "Why am I bothering to learn guitar? I'll never be any good. I'm just wasting my time, I might as well sell everything". Aren't you learning guitar because you love guitar and music? Why would you stop doing anything that you love? When learning guitar, playing music, there is no a destination, it's an action, it's a way of expressing, so why would you give it up if it makes you feel good? -------------------- My lessons
Do you need a Guitar Plan? Join Gab's Army Check my band:Cirse Check my soundcloud:Soundcloud Please subscribe to my:Youtube Channel |
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Oct 31 2017, 08:46 AM |
Thanks everyone, I'll go through your songs later on this evening Todd.
I still practised last night, it felt strange as my heart wasn't in it. I think it's just one of those things that is unavoidable sometimes. Things happen in life with close family members, all year something seems to be going wrong. I guess that makes it hard to focus on practise even though you think you're focused, this slows down progress which exacerbates the funk in your head and you start to think "what's the point". I guess in some people, this can, ultimately lead to a "what's the point in anything" situation, leading to deep depression with the inevitable consequences. Don't get me wrong, I'm not at that place, I'm just trying to rationalise/understand what has happened in my head. I'll be back. I know deep in my head I want to carry on, I think I am a creative soul but I struggle to develop the skills to release the creativity I always have done. I can't draw freehand, I am hopeless at painting, I guess I could always try pottery My skills lie in engineering and making things on machines to very fine tolerances (+/- .003mm, an average human hair is .040mm) but htere's no room for creative expression in that. Soldier on is what I say, break through the storm, come out the other side stronger. Here is what I said to Gab in my mentoring thread. I've put this here in case anyone else goes through it. It may help. "I'm sure it will pass. I might have a few days going wild on the guitar, stupid delays, crazy effects, just going wild, like a guitar party. That might help. Maybe I've been doing what they call in weight training, "over training". This isn't just training too much, but training too hard. You train more than you can recover. As you probably know, training with weights breaks down muscle fibre, then, during the recovery process, more muscle fibre is created so you don't have to struggle with that weight again, which is why you get stronger and have to add more weight. When you do it more often than you can recover, you actually start shrinking in muscle size. Like pruning a bush every day, it can't grow quickly enough to replace what's been removed. In a human, this makes inroads into your central nervous system and can, in some people, cause a nervous breakdown. I wonder if I've done a similar thing mentally. Grinding out the same thing night after night, being very strict with myself, so strict that a lot of the time I get so deep into it that I've done 90 minutes playing the same 4 bars of the AP lesson trying to eek out an extra 5 bpm and running out of time to do my "promised" 30 minutes fun improvisation." Thank you everyone. Phil This post has been edited by Phil66: Oct 31 2017, 09:13 AM -------------------- SEE MY GMC CERTIFICATE “Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in instalments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.” Israelmore Ayivor |
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Nov 1 2017, 09:37 PM |
Thanks Monkey for your consideration in my problem.
Thanks Todd, when I said about the extra 5bpm, I'm trying to improve my alternate picking with THIS lesson because there is an alternate picked ascending run in THIS lesson that I just can't crack. So we, (Gab and I) decided to take a break from the Jack White lesson and try to improve my alternate picking. I'm supposed to do other stuff including some improvisation over backing or my Trio+ at the end but I end up getting so fixated on the alternate picking lesson I do it for an hour and a half, sometimes two hours solid because I now can't break through the 70% speed of the lesson. I was really enjoying that lesson, it's not musical but I do like a challenge, I tend to get a bit obsessive with things. I always have that "arcade fever" of, "just one more go and I'll stop" but I can't stop, that "one more go" ends up being 50 more goes until I am really out of time and feel bad for leaving my wife downstairs on her own, even though she never moans. Maybe it's overkill, at the moment I'm still practising but it's like the addict that doesn't want to shoot up any more but has to, to stay "normal", that's how my practise feels, I'm currently doing it to stop regressing, like the addict carries on to stay normal, not even get a high any more, I am practising to keep what level I have, and nothing more, just waiting for this to pass. I apologise for using a drug analogy but I can't think of another parallel where people do what they don't want to do. What's weird, I still love music, my guitars, my gear. I still keep thinking of ideas for my playing, man I'm even thinking of creating something about this, called "Into The Darkness". It just the process of learning that is the issue causing this funk, I think. I almost approach my guitar with the same feeling of going to a funeral, that tight stomach but as I said, I do it anyway. Sorry to waffle on. Thanks Phil -------------------- SEE MY GMC CERTIFICATE “Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in instalments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.” Israelmore Ayivor |
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