Tiny Arrow, First "complete" poor effort
Marek Rojewski
Jun 20 2008, 05:31 PM
Post #1
Jun 20 2008, 05:31 PM
Experienced Guitar Lord
Posts: 1.671
Joined: 26-May 08
From: Lodz, Poland
Tiny arrow

Flash of light, taste of wind
Our spirit finally freed
Looking forth into the sky
we know now it's time to try

We're sailing north, our hope is high
I can see the land we so much strive
Yet suddenly the wind laughs above
the dream we seek, flew away like a dove

Chorus:
I was trying to find home
Find a place were we could shone
Tiny arrow show the way
Show me were I go today


We're sailing south, our hope is high
Song of joy flickers in the sand
What was song is now a storm
"You're not welcome, you should go"

Chorus:
I was trying to find home
Find a place were we could shone
Tiny arrow show the way
Show me were I go today


You left me, my friend, alone I stand
Not enough words could be spoken
The hope, once ours, now broken
Moon alone can see the tears

Chorus:
I was trying to find home
Find a place were we could shone
Tiny arrow show the way
Show me were I go today


I see a storm, white spear cuts the azure dome
This is the place this is the time
My ship struck by it, sights with relief
this is the time, this is the place

Blueness and nothing else around me
I look at the compass in my hand
[second voice between the main verses] hope and fear are my eyes
the arrow dances, spinning round and round
truly a reason to smile, home at last



This is one of the three songs by me, that were ever complete. The other two were done earlier, and destroyed because I felt they were not good enough.

I am not to comfortable with this one either, but decided to keep it, and share with You, maybe You will give me some clues how to improve. This song is sang slowly, the chorus is twice as fast as the verses, but not fast either.

Any comments and criticism is welcome!

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This post has been edited by Marek Rojewski: Jun 20 2008, 05:33 PM


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Nemanja Filipovi...
Jun 20 2008, 05:33 PM
Post #2
Jun 20 2008, 05:33 PM
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Posts: 3.391
Joined: 23-January 08
Looks good to me.Nice lyrics.smile.gif

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Bogdan Radovic
Jun 20 2008, 05:45 PM
Post #3
Jun 20 2008, 05:45 PM
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Joined: 30-November 07
From: Belgrade, Serbia
Very nice lyrics man! smile.gif

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Hisham Al-Sanea
Jun 20 2008, 11:26 PM
Post #4
Jun 20 2008, 11:26 PM
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From: middle east / lebanon
nice and good start

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The Uncreator
Jun 21 2008, 05:59 AM
Post #5
Jun 21 2008, 05:59 AM
Fire Up The Blades, Moderator
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From: St. Petersburg, Florida
Not bad at all, The verses could use some slight restructuring, The rhyme scheme seems a little forced, And I would use something like "Mighty Arrow" other than Tiny Arrow.

Still for a first song, Its still pretty good.

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Marek Rojewski
Jun 21 2008, 08:36 AM
Post #6
Jun 21 2008, 08:36 AM
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Posts: 1.671
Joined: 26-May 08
From: Lodz, Poland
Thanks for the comment! The title is about the arrow in the compass, thats why it is "tiny" wink.gif

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The Uncreator
Jun 21 2008, 05:06 PM
Post #7
Jun 21 2008, 05:06 PM
Fire Up The Blades, Moderator
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From: St. Petersburg, Florida
Haha, Now I see, Then never mind smile.gif

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